I need help & I am scared

Hello, my name is Rae. I am a 35 year old mother, wife & store owner. First I'd like to mention how extraordinary this site is. I've been reading through the posts for a while now & I feel so grateful to have found this site. Everyone is so kind, caring, & selfless. I want to thank you all in advance for I know I found a special group to share my most embarassing, self sabotaging dark secret. I tremble as I type because I haven't been able to talk to anyone about my addiction. Correction, my husband is aware, but he doesn't understand. I can't tell my family because they are extremely judgemental. I tried to tell my mom that I was taking pain medication for my 4 herniated disks and she immediately said, "What are you a f*#king druggy?" It's completely out of the question to let them know.
I need to stop this 150mg daily addiction to oxycodone but I am terrified. As I mentioned earlier I am a mother to a wonderful 7 year old boy and a store owner. I'm worried i won't be the funny, silly mommy that my little guy has known since he was born. I have been on & off pain pills since I was 14 due to a number of surgeries. I was addicted to pain pills for 3 years in my early twenties. I stopped for about 5 years (i was able to taper) until I hurt myself @ work about 5 years ago. I've been on them ever since. My other fear is about my store (especially heading into the holiday season). I work 8 days a week (constantly) I have 4 employees when in all reality I should have at least 6. I can't afford to bring anyone else in, so my husband & I pick up the slack. I'm exhausted. We had just moved our store to a larger location, we are open 7 days a week. I can't find anyone who can work the loads as fast as me, so I'm the one who does them most of the time. The pills give me energy & strength with a funloving attitude that my customers & employees enjoy. I'm so scared that I will slow down when working the loads, that my attitude will change. And most of all, this is a VERY STRESSFUL job. I've always had issues with anxiety ( i used to suffer from panic attacks) I don't take my anti-anxiety meds because they make me tired. I haven't taken them in years. I'm about to lose my store. I've fallen behind on all the bills, rent & taxes. I know its from my $700.00 or more a week habbit. My husband is no help with this. He follows whatever I do. If I take pills, he takes pills. When I quit smoking, he quit smoking. The good news is when I quit oxy's, so will he.
Can anyone please give me an idea about whether I will be a differnet person, will I still laugh on suboxone? How will my energy level be? I've read that there are good days & bad days. What if I have a bad day on Black Friday when I'm working from 5am-8pm? I'm also worried about coming off suboxone. There are so many posts (not on this site) about people cursing suboxone & that its so painful to get off of & the withdrawals last forever. Although I'm thinking that could be from not doing a long taper. Also, I'm really fearful of having to go through withdrawals for 24 to 36 hours before beginning sub. I feel horrible just 4 hours after my last pill. I think my biggest issue with that is being around my son during that time period. I know I have to wait a long time so I don't go into precipitated withdrawals. I've been doing a lot of reading, I know what I have to do. Why can't I do it? I've been reading about this for months now. I was first supposed to do this by Sept 1st. I keep putting it off.
I'm sorry for going on like this, I just feel like I'm losing my mind. I look forward to being the person who can help ease others in my position. To say that I've been there & made it through successfully. I thank you for taking the time to read my looooong post

Hello Rae and welcome to the forum,
I'm sorry I am just now responding, we were hit hard by hurricane Sandy as I am in New York.
I just got my power back today.

Listen to me, you don't have to be afraid. Do you really think your being yourself on these pain pills?
Your not.
I'm sure your employee's and customers might see it too.
Your on drugs, people notice.
Suboxone will turn your life around. It saved mine.
Don't even worry about the withdrawal you have to be in. I barely waited 12 hrs before I did it.
It's not the length of time, it your degree of withdrawal.
Do you have a doctor already?
If not, start calling. Some have a waiting list, others don't.
You also want to get the best price around. Some Drs accept insurance, others don't.
I want to congratulate you on taking the steps to get your life back.
You will be free !!! and it's amazing !!
If you have further questions please please, ask, it's why we are here, ok?

Take Care,
Blue

Thank You for your response. I live in NY as well, but I was lucky enough to have a generator during this horrific time.

I have plans to call tuesday (tomorrow) to gather as much info from my insurance co & the Dr. Unfortunately I was only able to locate 1 in my area. I've been there before to see a psychotherapist years ago (It's a center with a number of psychiatrist & therapists) I know the center takes my insurance, but I need to see if they cover sub. I'm so busy I actually had to schedule in when I can make these phone calls. I found myself talking myself out of going on sub last night. I even convinced my husband that I should try a different route. A route I tried once before & failed. I do have a different mindset this time, but this morning I realized, if I'm serious about changing my life, I need to do suboxone.

Welcome to our little home. We are glad to have you here with us.
If you are serious about changing, then you need to do it. There will not be a better time, there won't be a more oportune moment.
You can't wait until your son is older and you can't wait until you have enough employess to help you with the christmas rush.
The time to stop is now, when you still can.

Addiction is a disease that does not give up easlily. I used to plan when I was going to stop using. I would plan it right down to the day and I would let that day pass.
I was afraid. I knew that if I actually took the steps needed to stop, there would be no going back. No more pills, no more shots.

We are all afraid, but in the end the only thing we have to be afraid of is ourselves. We can out talk ourselves better than anyone. I'm sure you know this is true.

As for how you will be after you start Suboxone. You will be free of the ties to opiates. You won't wake up in a panic because you might run out of pills and you won't have to go to any more doctors to scam them into another prescription.
You will become the real you. The one you are meant to be and you will be alive.

Don't worry about how you will feel when it is time to stop taking Suboxone. Don't put a time limit on yourself. Just take things one day, one step at a time as it comes to you.
We are here for you anytime. To talk, to vent. To answer any questions that you might have.
You can do this. How many times have you gone through withdrawal only to take another pill?
This could be your last time. Make it count.

I don't remember when or how my family found out about my addiction. Sad but true, I had been addicted for so long and it was my life. I never thought I'd be here today sitting at a computer talking to someone about stopping. If you would have asked me years ago, I'd have told you that I would never stop using. That is how I felt. But I got tired of the person I had become, lying, borrowing money and not being able to put food on the table but always able to come up with a way to get what I needed.
Blue is right, people do notice when you are on drugs. We think they don't but they do. The only person we fool is ourselves and we don't do a very good job at that.
Please check in tomorrow after you call to set up your appointment, we will be here waiting to hear back from you.
Take care, talk to you soon.
Dee

LiveLoveLaugh,

Good luck today !!

Let us know if you have questions or thoughts.

Dee has a lot of phone numbers and links that you could use if you run
into a situation that your not sure about when your setting up your appointment.

Your in my thoughts today !!! Good luck !!!! You'll do great, you'll be free !! FINALLY!!!

Thank you so much. I must admit I was procrastinating this morning, but after I read the previous posts, I felt empowered. I smiled & picked up the phone to call my insurance company. They gave me about 5 doctors not in my immediate area, but doable. I don't seem to be having much luck though.

The one office is a hospital & they only do inpatient.

Another hasn't returned my call yet (I left a voicemail)

The 1 doctor I was aware of (that is also closest to me) has scared me completely. They said I can't take any opiates for 72 hours. Thats 3 whole days! I don't think I can make it. I explained that I take oxycodone, not a long lasting opiate like oxycontin or opana. I'm in withdrawal (or starting to feel crappy) after just 4 hours. They said they don't go by everyones indiviual reaction. 72 hours for everyone. That almost makes me feel like a number than a person. Plus there is a 4 week waiting list..

Then there is an office that is VERY structured. There is no waiting list. However, by structured I mean. I go in for an appt to give my history & a blood test. Then all the counselors get together to see if I meet the criteria & if I will "fit in" with their groups. If I do, then I meet the doctor and ask questions. After I receive my prescription (which they wouldn't tell me if I induce in the office or at home. They said I have to ask the doctor that question...weird!) Then I have to go to 4 mandatory meetings a week from 5:30 to 8:30 (3 hours!) BTW my store closes @ 7:00. I have every intention of going to meetings or even seeing a therapist. I know I need that & my hubby is all for it as well. I was thinking a minimum of 2 meetings a week, 3 if I can swing it. But 4 at that time... I just can't see how I can swing it. I know if I need it that bad, I need to do it. But I also have a son I take to karate twice a week. My husband works for me & has another job since the store isn't making it. I'm in tears.

I hope to hear back from this other office. It's the farthest away, but only by another 20 minutes..

Then there is 1 more office, but it's out of network. The insurance company said to make that a last resort. They have to put in a special request. Fortunately there is other options. Worse case scenario, I think I'll go with the structured one. They sounded so nice, I'll have to figure out a new schedule for my family, but I have my husband to support me & I know once I tell my kinesiologist (who also happens to be a very close friend) she will help as well.

As it stands, I'm waiting to hear from the 1 office & I'm about to check out the "out of network" office. I'll keep you posted.

I've already received so much encouragement. I needed to hear that someone cares. And I thank you very much for that.

Well, I've spent all day trying to find an office that is right for me. I've made a decision...

I called the "structured" office. Not only are they kind, but from talking with them, I learned that they treat everyone as an individual (which is super important to me) After talking it over with hubby, we've decided to reaarange our schedules. It will be tough, but I honestly feel this is the right thing to do. If I am serious about getting clean....I have to do whatever it takes. They are contacting my insurance company right now & then they will call me back to schedule my appointment. I'm excited, still scared, but excited to take my life back. I'm sure I am going to meet a lot of great people who are in the same boat as me.

Congratulations !!!

I'm super proud of you ! You are taking the steps to get your life back.

Keep us posted and let us know when they call you back!!

Hugs,
Blue

They called back.....I have a consultation scheduled for Thursday at 11:30am. I'm excited! I also received a call back from a psychiatrist that I was looking into for suboxone. He doesn't offer the treatment, but he was kind enough to chat with me for a few minutes. He told me I sound like I have a good head on my shoulders and that I made a wise choice going with the office I chose. He said they have a high success rate and he's heard a lot of great things about their program and staff. For the most part, everyone was nice today & very helpful. Even my insurance company (which blew my mind).

I was told to drink a lot of water before my appointment & that they are also going to do blood work. They also said they move quickly & there is no waiting list. So, hopefully I will be on sub by the end of next week!. I thank you again & I hope you have a great night!

Your feeling just like I felt !
I even had my pharmacist (where I got my Vicoden filled every month for years) say
he was happy I was in treatment. And continue to comment each time I saw him about
how good I look.

That's one thing I can't get over, more than once someone has said to me that I look so much better now that I'm off those pills.
I had no idea how shitty I looked !!! I even had a co-worker that doesnt know my background
say "whatever your doing is working, you look great !"

That's what I meant by people know, we don't think they do but they do.
You can't hide drug abuse as much as we try.

I'm so happy for you !

Hello, I have my appointment tomorrow @ 11:30. I want to ask questions, but to be quite honest, I don't know what questions to ask. I'm not starting sub tomorrow, this is an assesment apointment so they can see where I'm at in my addiction. They are taking blood and I am supposed to ask any questions I may have. Would anyone mind giving me some good ideas on what to ask? I'm drawing a blank. I'd greatly appreciate it

Hello,

You might ask them what their procedure is as far as just using Suboxone for detox or do they maintain patients on the med as long as the patient/Dr sees fit.
Some Dr's only want patients to detox off it and that has been proven to be a low percentage rate of successful patient staying clean.

That's all I can think of but listen, the Dr will fill you in on everything.

Oh, find out if your inducing at the office or at home (taking your first dose).

They will tell you how long to be in withdrawal, when to take it, how much to take, all that.

GOOD LUCK !!

I cant wait to hear how it went !!!

Blue

Good morning,Good luck this morning. I'm sure you are probably nervous.
Just try to remember that today is a meeting day so to speak. A day where you will meet the doctor and find out about the program he runs.

One of the first questions you want to ask is what Blue has already mentioned, Does this doctor have a time limit for his patients on Suboxone.

Where will you do the induction, home or office. In the beginning of treatment when they first started out with Suboxone, patients were induced in the physicians office. But over time more and more the patient is given a prescription with instructions and told do induce at home.

You will also need to find out if your doctor has someone on call for him that will be able to answer your questions if need be after hours. And does this on call person know about Suboxone.
How often is your doctor going to want to see you, especially in the beginning of treatment. Will he be available to you if you need to see him during your first month as often as necessary especially during your first month. This is a settling in period and a lot of new patients have more questions during this time. Some may want to see their doctor to make sure they are feeling like they are supposed to.

You may feel a little anxiety and you want to be assured that if you call, he will be there for you.
If you see your doctor and you ask him a question, you want a doctor that is going to be direct with his answers and not skim around the question.
This is your recovery it needs to be treated as it is. You have a right to be respected and be treated with respect.
let us know how it goes okay.

Hello, I don't know how I feel about the appointment I had today. It was a bit odd. I filled out a lot of paperwork (expected). But when they brought me in to assess me, I almost felt a bit discouraged. I had to fill out a questionaire asking questions such as...Have you ever gone to more than one doctor to obtain multiple prescriptions (NO) Have you ever been in a position where you had to lie cheat or steal to obtain opiates? (NO) Have you ever been arrested due to drug/alcohol abuse (NO) You get the point. Basically I felt like I had to convince them I had a problem. I asked isn't taking 150mg daily when I am only supposed to be taking 20mg a day enough? I am abusing them, isn't that enough? Like I said....it was odd. Then they were concerned of my neck issues. I can understand that though. They were worried that if I went on suboxone, will I have significant pain issues that may require me to go back on opiates. I explained to them that I feel the pain probably won't be as bad once I am off the pills. Call me crazy, but I think the pills make the pain worse. Almost like my head is telling me I am in more pain than I am so I take more pills. I honestly feel since my herniated discs are not bad enough to need surgery, then I will most likely get relief from therapeutic massage, yoga, acupuncture, a more holistic route. I told them, this path I'm on is not working for me & it's time to make a change. I can't stop the opiate use on my own...I've tried. Once I'm stable in treatment I will think about more natural ways to help my neck issues. I REFUSE TO TAKE OPIATES THE REST OF MY LIFE! Especially because I abuse them. I remember going to my primary doctor a number of times over the summer not neccessarily to get more pills but to cry to her & say, "There has got to be a better way!" I didn't want her to know of my problem then. But I was trying to see if there were any other options for me. I didn't have health insurance until recently so my options were limited.

Anyway, I can keep rambling on, but I won't. They shook my hand & explained that the couselors will review my case to see if I am a candidate. They will try to let me know by Friday night.

By the way...they induce in office. I have to be opiate free for 12 hours (thats more like it) I will go in & they'll monitor me until I am ready to induce & then they'll continue to monitor me to find the right dose. I must go to mandatory meetings, but the frequency is still to be determined. They only give enough sub until your next meeting to ensure you show up. This is not a detox facility by any means, I must remain on the sub as long as my doctor feels necessary. So, if they do accept me, I will have a meeting with the doctor to ask more questions.

Thank you for your support and answering my questions. I will keep you posted and if there is anything I can offer or bring to the table, please let me know.

-Rae

I agree, those questions were odd. I don't know that I've heard any Dr asking stuff like that.

In any event, let me tell you this....... the pain your feeling now WILL GET BETTER when your
off those opiates !!!

I have back issues for years. I had a spinal fusion in 2009. I took more and more pain pills
after that to the point of some days, throwing up.
I was concerned that after I stopped, what would my pain level be at.
It's ZERO !!! The only time I do feel my back ache is when I wake up, and within 15 minutes of walking it off, I am fine.

So it's not in your head, it's real. Your body hurts and craves more pills. You'll be surprised how
good you feel once you stop.
I'm not saying you'll be pain free, and Suboxone can help with the pain you do end up with.

I hope you hear good news tomorrow night. Now we wait !!!

Take Care
Blue

Those questions are actually standard questions that you are normally asked when entering into treatment. Residential treatment, methadone treatment etc.
I imagine it is their way of trying to find out how far you have gone in the past to obtain drugs.
But at one point I even had one doctor tell me she didn't think I had an addiction to opiates. Can you imagine that.

I hope you get some good news tomorrow. I'll keep you in my prayers. I also hope that if you are accepted, you will be able to have some sort of say so in your treatment.

I am so upset. They refused me! They said that one factor was that I don't "act" like an addict. I guess you have to lie cheat &/or steal to be accepted into this program. I told I thought that was rediculous. I am abusing the pain medication & I can't stop. That should be enough. But she said the real issue is my neck problem. They said I should go see a pain management specialist first. I"m sorry, but I hear pain management specialist, I hear "Oxycontin-Opana-hard core drugs" I want off! I don't want more. I explained that my herniated discs are not severe enough for surgery, that it's all muscular. I feel yoga & massage therapy will be all I need. I mentioned how I feel the pain is worse because of the pills. They said they still want me to see a pain management specialist. I never should have told them about my neck, but that is how I got back into taking opiates. I can't just go to a pain management specialist. I have to see my primary care physician first. She's going to want to know why I haven't gone to physical therapy. She may not send me to a pain management specailist until I do that. That is 6 weeks!!! I can't do this anymore. I'm going to lose my business! What am I going to do? I never heard of anything like this. I NEED HELP. Does anyone have any suggestions? If I go to my doctor, she will cut me off if I tell her what is going on. I can't take that chance until I know I can get into treatment.

I'm sorry to hear that you were turned down and it is absolutely crazy. I have a feeling they are going by the federal regulations "guidelines" for admittance into an OTP. But that is just is, those are guidelines.
In those guidelines someone must be in active addiction for one year and must prove that addiction. Hence all of the questions they asked you. If a patient cannot prove addiction and it's behavior they can have someone who is close to them write a letter.
It is crazy. These are most commonly used for treatment within a methadone program. Most, (not all but most) programs want to make sure Suboxone treatment is right for the patient. In some cases (I am by no means saying this includes you) some people are able to stop abusing opiates by other means. Attending NA/AA meeting with a combination of therapy, group counseling and one on one counseling. Suboxone although really not addicting, is a medication that you will more than likely become dependent on. And will require you to taper off of before stopping. Some people don't stop taking it but have to stay on a low maintenance dose for the rest of their lives.
Others, like some of our members do start to taper once they feel they have acquired the proper tools needed to help them manage their addiction without medication.


Go back to step one. Start looking all over again for a certified provider who will see you. What part of New York are you located in, let's see if we can find someone. You may have to drive some but we will find someone.
Please, please don't give up. You have made up your mind to do this and you will. Expect some set backs but consider them tests, that's all. You can pass them and we are here to help.
I'm sure that right now you are feeling pretty angry and by all means I don't blame you one bit. But that is not going to make you feel any better, give yourself some positive thoughts and lets get this ball rolling again.
Never give up, okay

I'm shocked that you were turned down.


I'm am so sorry this happened. I honestly thought I'd log on and hear good news from you.
This is bullshit !!! How can they just turn an addict away, to go abuse more and possibly harm themselves and/or someone else??

Like Dee said, lets just start over again.

Your in NY, there is no shortage of doctors here. Let us know what part.
You can send a private message to Dee and let her know.

We will get past this. Don't give up !!!

Thank you so much. I do feel a bit better. The friends I have told have been very supportive & helping me to remain positive (as well as both of you). I did try to call other places that my insurance covers. The one still hasn't called back & the others are inpatient which is not an option. I contacted the same office that denied me & asked what it was exactly that they expect me to do. I told them I am abusing my meds. Do I have to lie, cheat, steal, Dr shop, sell my body to be considered? Just because I haven't done those things doesn't mean I'm not an addict. I have hundreds of dollars in cash daily due to the sales in my store. I have 5 people who can supply me with my DOC. I've never been forced to be in that position. The woman I spoke with explained the problem is more about my herniated discs. They want to make sure my pain is managed before I start treatment. They don't want me to start the program & find my pain intolerable. Therefore, I need to go to a pain management specialist first to get my pain under control. I explained how I feel the pain is worse because of the meds & if I got off them & went to massage therapy & yoga, I should feel much better. The problem is, with my insurance, I will need a referral from my primary care physician. My doctor wanted me to go to physical therapy. She'll ask why I haven't done that & most likely will insist I do that before seeing a specialist. Then the woman from the clinic said she never contacted my doctor in fear that she would cut me off. But if I want to "RISK" telling my doctor what it is I am trying to do, she can write a note to the clinic stating that I will have no pain problems if I go into treatment. What doctor will write that? She'll say, "There is no way I can predict how you are going to feel when you get off the opiates." After talking with a friend who went through a similar issue (wish I spoke with him before, I never would've mentioned my neck) He suggested I play their game. Go to physical therapy for a week or so, cry--ouch, ouch, ouch it hurts to my regular doctor. Insist on seeing a specialist. See the specialist get some cortisone injections & miraculously feel better. Get a note from the specialist that my pain is managed & then start treatment. The sub clinic told me, not all pain specialists write scripts for stronger meds, they may have other treatments available.

Now I hope you understand, I do have a pain problem, I'm not wasting anyone's time here. I truley believe with all my heart that the pills are making it worse & my original plan for massage therapy & yoga will be a lot more beneficial than any medication they'll give me. I figued it's worth a shot considering the one other place has a 4 week waiting list anyway. That's the place that wanted me to be 72 hours opiate free before coming into the office. The place that treats everyone the same no matter the amount of opiates &/or heroin they used. The place that made me feel more like a statistic than a person.

Can I ask how you feel about this approach? It is the truth, I do have pain, I think the physical therapy will help since I will get the therapuetic massage I was talking about. The reason why I didn't do the physical therapy is just this:

I've done physical therapy in the past. It didn't help too much (but they never massaged me because back then it hurt too much to the touch). I remember how I always felt worse coming out than I did going in. I got my insurance on September 1st. I went & got an x-ray. I was supposed to get an MRI as well, but my Dr said that she could tell that my condition has not gotten any worse by the spacing between my vertabre. Then she told me the bad news is that there isn't any 1 thing that will fix my problem. I basically am going to have to live with this for the rest of my life until the problem progresses to the point where they can do something about it (surgery or whatever). If there was something they could do, I would've said GREAT LET'S DO IT! But there isn't & I am not going to continue on this path anymore! It's obviously not working! I have to ry to find something else & get off these damn pills that I am abusing!

Please put my into prospective if I am wrong or missing something.

Thanks again, just as I suspected, you have been so helpful to me more than you'll ever know. Even just by letting me vent & responding to my very long posts

Good morning, I just wanted to add...I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this particular clinic isn't the right one for me for whatever reason. I made my appointment with physical therapy, but I think I will see if I can find another sub doctor on Monday. Like you said, I may need to travel a bit, but I will do whatever I have to do.

Your probably right, this particular doctor probably isn't the one for you.
I also have pain. Not in my neck but my back. I've had a total of three surgeries. The first two was to try and repair the discs. The doctor made no promises as there really are no promises with back surgery. Some do well and some don't. The 3rd surgery was an emergency surgery. I woke up one day in more pain than I had ever been in. Could not walk, stand or even sit.
The disc was removed and afterwards the doctors wanted to do a fusion but after already having 3 surgeries I decided to live with what I have. I can walk but I am in pain. Not as bad as before. Suboxone has helped my pain to the point that if I need something I can get by on ibuprofen and it is a blessing.
One of the reasons they say Suboxone is not good for pain is because it is designed to be taken once per day to help manage addiction-. Take your medication and move on.
For pain control medication is normally taken 3-4 times a day or every 4-6 hours, however prescribed.

There are some Suboxone patients who do take Suboxone for addiction and pain at the same time. It works for them. For the doctor to say that it is because of your pain that you cannot take it, makes no sense at all.
Suboxone is prescribed by a lot of doctors "off label" for pain, there is a form of buprenorphine, (Suboxone without the Naloxone) that comes in the form of a patch (BuTrans) that patients wear for a total of 7 days before changing to a new patch. It is designed for continuous relief of chronic pain.

When looking for a Suboxone Provider you want one that is going to work with you during your treatment. It really doesn't sound like this one is that kind of provider and your are probably better off without him.
Sometimes it is hard to find a provider, I will give you some links to check out that might help locate one in your area. If you don't find on by using these links, let me know. As Blue said, there isn't a shortage of providers in New York it might just be a little difficult to find the right one. When you do, this search will be well worth the trouble.
Hang in there, I know that sounds cliche' but it is true.

Here are those links:
http://buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_locator/

http://www.treatmentmatch.org/local/

I also have pain to deal with.
I think most people that got addicted to pain meds was because they
were given pain meds FOR PAIN !
So, I agree, for that clinic to say that, well, it just makes no sense at all.

I will say that I do think physical therapy will work for you.
A month after I got on Suboxone, I started working out. Best thing I did aside from
stopping the pain pills. I feel SO much better. But for sure, that most of the pain I had was from my body
wanting more pain pills. I'm sure you'll find the same thing once you stop.

So, again, yes, the physical therapy will make you feel better. But we also need you
off the pain pills. If you go to any pain management, I bet you'll walk out of there
with a script for a narcotic pain medication. It happened to me. And I even went there saying
I have a problem. I take more than I should. The Dr's response was, well, I give you more so
then maybe you wont run out. HAHHA- I blew through 150 Norcos in 3 days.

Start making phone calls !!!!!

Thank you! I was worried I was being stubborn or not making any sense. when I have my mind set on something I tend to stick with it no matter what. So to hear that you feel I am doing the right thing just makes me feel at ease. I will find the right doctor, I know it. I am willing to travel, well I am willing to do whatever it takes. Thanks again....I'll keep you posted! Have a great weekend!

Oh my! I just viewed the links you posted for me & it looks like I have quite a few options! I'm sure I will find the right one for me. Thank You very much!!!!!!!