Need Advice/Help from any1 that can..

I dont know if im posting correctly but I hope someone sees this that can help me.. I started out on Suboxone in April 2011.. at first everything was great, I felt great.. I was maintaining on 2-4mg a day (pills) and then I started seeing a new doctor that prescribed me 8mg (film) a day instead.. everything was good for a bit but then I started feeling not so good, I had no energy, was tired all the time, depressed, I had to force myself to even do the dishes and even then they would sit for a couple days before I finally did them. My doctor switched me to generic Subutex and just like active addiction and my old ways I decided since they were the pills and I felt so bad I would try to sniff them (big mistake). I got a kinda "high" feeling from it the first few times so I continued to do it. I started running short monthly on my meds so my doctor increased my dose, 1st to 10mg and now im up to 12mg, Every month I run short on my meds now because I always take more then im supposed to, I sniff anywheres from 12mg to 24mg a day. Needless to say im out of meds AGAIN this month and my appointment isnt until the 13th, Ive been out since Saturday the 31st. I bought some 8mg strips from someone I know to try to get me through till my appointment on the 13th. I HATE going through this every month and not being stable on my meds like I used to be. The problem that im having is that ive been taking 8mg (film) a day sub-l and I dont feel the same, I feel almost like im in withdrawal when I know 8mg saturates enough receptors that it should hold me over till my next dose. I wish I never got myself in this mess. I dont understand why 8mg sub-l isnt making me feel normal or could it just be all in my head?? If anyone could help me figure this out I would greatly appreciate it. I plan on working on what I have been doing and making some positive changes so I can get out of this cycle. I just need to figure this out so that I can make it to my next appointment without having to take more than 8mg a day because I have just enough to make it till then and theres even gonna be 4 days that I have to take 4mg a day because im short 2 strips from trying to make myself feel better. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, I know im probably all over the place and very confusing and hard to understand.

Sparkles, when you switched from the tablets to the strips was there anything different going on in your life that could have lead to more stress or had you been put on any other medications that could have accounted for the way you started feeling? Think back, what was going on back then?
I don't think any of this is in your head. I know the strips and tablets are supposed to be the same but I also know that a lot of people have said they feel a difference. One of our members Barbara is on the strips now and she said they don't seem to be as strong as the tablets so I would say it depends on the person and their metabolism.

If you were feeling withdrawal from 8mg of the strips then maybe you do need a little more. Have you talked to the doctor about it.
Whatever the case may be, I think your being on the Subutex is not for you. Not now anyway.
Don't let this relapse bring you down though. It happens and the only way to combat it is to get back up even if it means starting over. Talk to your provider and see what the two of you can work out. Maybe even smaller amounts prescribed until you are able to get back where you need to be to eliminate the possibility of your running out.

If you need to come here and vent then do it. We are here to help in whatever way we can. Support, friendship and a listening ear. Whatever you need.
But above all, don't worry, you can get back up and you can succeed. I know you can.
Dee

Thank you for your reply.. I just wanted to give an update on my situation, I called my doctor this morning and she got me in today to see me. She gave me enough meds to get me through till my regular appointment on the 13th. I didnt tell her the whole truth because I had to see her husband cause she was too busy but I did tell her I over took my meds. Friday when I see her I will talk to her. I cant go off Subutex yet because im pregnant, I didnt say that in my first post. That makes it worse I guess and I just wanted advice without being judged. Thank you though and I do plan on sticking around the site. Maybe the site will help me a little since im having these problems.

This site seems like it would be so much more active then it is.. Its almost like no1 is here anymore..
I needed some help a few days ago and it took I think like 2 days for any1 to respond... Lets go guys.. we need to SUPPORT eachother!!!

Sparkle,
I apologize, I don't really know what to say. Right now I am the only moderator of the forum and although we do have quite a few members (577) it seems once they find their answer or have been able to settle in they move on.
I started volunteering back in 2006 and I'm the only one left. So I do what I can between doctor's appointments and such.

Why would you think anyone would judge you? For taking Suboxone while pregnant or for abusing while pregnant?
In an earlier post I said that I didn't think Subutex was for you right now but that was before I knew you were pregnant. You have two choices while pregnant, Subutex and Methadone.

How are you doing now that you have enough to get you through to your appointment? Have you been able to hold off on taking any extras?

Sparkles,

I sent you a private message

Hi Sparkles, I'm Barbara and can feel every nerve you expressed and next thing you will do. I am you wanting the same thing...off this bus I never wanted on in the first place. What I and I think you want is to be free of this way out of sink and in sink. Honey, you can get back. This is how we get better is to have a want of a structured, sound sense of well being. Hang in there. What kept me straight a lot of times is not knowing if the rewards where right around the bend and I gave up. No, no, no, we can't give up. This is not an option for someone who wants to be happy, happy, happy at least an hour or two. Go to any length. I've only read this from you, so I don't know how you are doing. Please feel free to let me know.
Many regards,
Barbara

Sparkles,

I wanted to write to see how you are doing. Hope your feeling good and the Subutex is working well for you.

I would lover to hear from you when you have time.

We are all in this together and we are here to support each other.

Take Care