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Hello,Dee,Beth and all new members.
Sorry I've been away for so long.
As those that have read my post know since I started on Suboxone this time (6 months) I've had many problems with my Dr. and my Ins.
The Dr. situtation and his staff kept getting worse and along with other things in life & I fell into a very deep depression. I had to fight suicidal thoughts everyday for awhile.
Thank God for my therapist. He kept telling me how I needed to find a new Dr. The thing holding me was Ins. Last time we talked my husband came with me. That was a unexpected surprise. After that we talked and my therapist gave me the name of a Dr. that he personally works with for his pts. on Suboxone. I made the decision to not go back to the crazy Dr. and go to see her. She does not take my Ins. but is willling to let me pay half each month and pay the other half in 2 weeks. She also has gotten into other health issues that I have and not just totally on Suboxone. Since I was no longer going to go back I thought I would just QUIT on my own. Not a good move. I went thru a week of withdrawal and the depression was so great I couldn't see anything positive any longer. I felt I was one of those addicts that would just not ever get it.
Unlike the other Dr. when I went to the new one as soon as I filled out my paper work the nurse started giving me the Suboxone. I was shocked on that b/c the other never did that. The office was pleasant and helpful. I cried so much for the past month I thought I had no more tears. When this nurse and staff reached out to me so kindly I started the crying all over again. It was a great experience.
Imagine someone being so kind to a addict?
It's going to be hard to pay for this but after the treatment I got from the other Dr. i'll find a way and pray God will continue to find a way.
I also want to share that when I went to the therapist this past week and I went to pay my part he told me he DID NOT want the money. He said,I was in need more than he was and for me to put that towards this new Dr. I of course,cried on that as well. After so much that we all have to go thru with Dr.'s and this Ins. not being accepted,that to have a Dr. tell you they don't need your money right now was a experience in itself.
This new Dr. is also not close by but so worth the drive. They even answer your phone call and return your call when you call them.
My therapist said something to me that I had not thought of. He said,that many Dr.'s that are prescribing Suboxone are abusing there pts. Boy,that was a eye opener.
Being a addict doesn't mean we deserve to be treated any different than any other pt. We beat ourselves up enough and then often allow Dr.'s to do the same and we pay them for that.
I'm pleased to say that I'am feeling better. My dosage has been dropped to 24 mgs. and i'm thinking after 6 months it's probably time and I'm doing okay with that.
Tomorrow i'm heading out on Amtrak to go to my daug. in Ga. She is having surgery on her foot and I'm going to go to help her for a week or so. That is another story for another time about my daug. She had moved back home and has partially moved back and I don't know what she is going to do till after this surgery.
I'm very thankful to God that I'v been able to pull thru and not check out of life. It's a dark place that no one should have to ever deal with and I know many of us do.
I also know that many are dealing with Dr.s that are not kind and NONE of us deserve that. It has given me a new outlook towards the Medical Field,some what. I was quite shocked to know that there were still Dr.'s out there that really care.
I didn't mean to get so long winded but I'll be back to share more at another time.
The last 2 visits at the old Dr. office had gotten violent up in there. Several other stories.
I hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to stay closer by and check in more often.
Much Love
Marie
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