A Suboxone Forum Check In

Subject: A Suboxone Forum Check In Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:46 am

Good Morning to everyone here on the forum. It has been quiet around here once again and I thought this would be a good time to check in with everyone and see how you are doing.
We have had a flood of new members lately and knowing that we are here to help so many beings me such joy.
This last two weeks has been a round of excitement in my neck of the woods. Things have happened that under "old conditions" would have been what I would have deemed the "perfect" excuse to pick up and use.
The week before last one of my elderly neighbors for unknown reasons choose to end his life. I didn't know him very well and I have felt guilty that maybe I should have made more time to stop and visit, or pause is passing for a quick "how are you."
The following Monday around 2:30am, I woke from a sound sleep to a lot of noise, I got up to yell out to the neighbors to please shut the noise down, when I noticed there were blue flashing lights everywhere, my first thought was to the young wife of the man that has committed suicide a few days before. So I went outside to check things out and what I saw was a nightmare. The house next door was on fire. A few minutes later we were evacuated form our home for fear of the fire spreading.
While standing around waiting to find out if we were going to be allowed back into our home, my mind started to wander.
I thought back to the past and the things I've done. As I was thinking my mid drifted to how I would have handled that exact same situation while still using. I know exactly what I would have done. I would have reached for my bottle of pain pills. Not because of any pain that I would have been in, but because I would have craved that warmth & relaxation it would have brought to me.
I am so grateful those days are in the past. We ended up standing out in the freezing cold night for about 4 hours before we decided to find somewhere else to go. And although I was uncomfortable from the cold, I was ever so grateful that I didn't have a bottle of pills to grab onto.
I have so many things that I am grateful for. I have many blessings in my life that I wouldn't have if not for the fact that I have been able to remain in recovery. Knowing that I can come here and write what I feel how I feel has been one of the greatest blessings of all.
I have people of support in my life that I didn't have before, but there are somethings that I know they could never understand. Things that only another addict could know.
I should probably wrap this up now before I run out of room to write.
Check in and let me know how you are. What's been going on in your life.
How's your recovery?
Yours in recovery,
Dee

Subject: Checking in Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:16 pm

My life right now is on the roller coaster ride .My feeling that have been covered by vics are right on the surface the good ones the bad ones .Feels like they there amplified by 10... Im so grateful to have this place where each and everyone one of us is an addict trying to get recovery . Liviing with someone isnt an addict can be tough ..Mine still thinks to this day I could have stopped some of my actions to get the pills maybe I could have but I doubt it never know ..She has never walked the mile in my shoes .I knew what the drugs would each and every time ..Just like putting food in your mouth when your hungry and then you were full get hungry again eat more ..Im so grateful that I dont have to reach for that bottle of pills to help trough the day ..I come here read write and work on my ideas of getting the support group started here in Portland and othe thing to help in the recovery of opiate addicts here..Im working hard on my resentments and boy thats the tough one for me .I could write a book there ..Im off for a while but will be back later
Yours in recovery
Kimbo

Number of posts : 256 Age : 67 Registration date : 2009-01-10

Things have finally calm down for me. The last several weeks were pretty rough for me with my dog being sick. He has Lipto which can be spread to other dogs and humans. So far nobody else came down with it. I had a flu shot a couple of weeks ago. I had a mild reaction to it I felt like I had a cold. When I am not feeling good or if I don't sleep enough that is when I get cravings. I tell myself that I don't want to even go there.

As for this week the only major problem we are having is Jon's 10 year old granddaughter came down with the swine flu and she is in the hospital right now.

On a brighter note I went to see my Suboxone Doctor on Wednesday and she asked me if I would head up a Suboxone support group in our area. I will be working with another person who was also in my addictions group meetings that I gradulated from. My doctor thinks that having it based on the 12 steps will be a good idea but I think Na and AA around this area would be upset. So if anybody has any ideas I would love some feed back on this.

I hope everybody has a great weekend.
Love, Cathy

Subject: Re: A Suboxone Forum Check In Fri 30 Oct 2009, 7:02 pm

Hello my dear friends,
Cathy, I say Kudos to you my friend on your being asked to help run a Suboxone Support Group!! I would take that as an honor & not worry one bit whatsoever about the local AA nor NA opinion regarding whatever type of support group you would decide to hold! I think that speaks quite highly of you & your success in recovery. Congrats to you!!
Dee, yes, I understand what you were also saying almost to a tee. When Nadine was 5 years old, we had a house fire. It was still only the two of us back then (and may be again here soon if our household cannot settle down- same old thing. Throw up past incidents to try to hurt me.-because I paid the cable/internet bill without checking with him!) On November 5th I will have 20 months in recovery- how long do I have to have my face rubbed into it? But back to when Kayli was 5, we had a house fire that burned to the ground. I got her out & to the neighbors, then ran back in to grab my purse & my pills & anything I possibly could carry on the way out the door. But it was such a priority to make sure that I got back into there to get those pills!! How very different life is today!
Kimbo, I am also still right there on that roller coaster with you. I feel like I am fighting so many battles that there is very little left to give. I was thinking that my hubby was kind of starting to understand addiction & that that we were FINALLY going to be fighting it together, but he just proves me wrong yet again when I get my hopes up. So I totally get what you are saying regarding it being difficult to live with someone who is NOT an addict & has strong opinions otherwise.
I continue to ramble on, but I really do not know if we will be able to make it through all of this, as I was told by my teenaged daughter this afternoon because her Grandpa told her that last night. A Suboxone Forum Check In Fresse

What the ?!?! A Suboxone Forum Check In Icon_evil

I am feeling quite depressed. I continue to believe that things have to get better, but as of now...
Things just have not been seeming to get better, despite what I do or do not do. Sorry to check in with such a negative report on my end, but to Cathy, again, congrats to you my friend! A Suboxone Forum Check In Icon_cheers

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
Love,
Beth A Suboxone Forum Check In Herz

Subject: Re: A Suboxone Forum Check In Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:17 pm

Cathy,
That is great news. I see that more and more you are moving forward in your life. Look at you now. Look back and now look where you are today. "You have come a long way baby"
The idea of a Suboxone group is an ideal one. I agree with what you said about AA and NA. The whole abstinence thing is what gets me about the group. But you can still have your group without making it all about AA or NA. Will the group involved clients from your doctors office as a closed group or will it be an open group? We have groups where I live and they are closed. The focus is on How you feel that day, what motivates you to continue on in your recovery, how to recognize triggers, and how to deal with those triggers. There are a lot of ideas that you may be able to come up with without basing it on the 12 steps. Or you may be able to model it basically after the 12 steps with different wording to fit into Medicated Assisted Recovery. I'm sure that you and the other person involved will be able to come up with something. I am really proud of you.

Kimbo,
I hate it that your girlfriend isn't able to see you for the person that you are today. And it is said that once you go into recovery the person that you are with while using may not be able to handle the person that you turn out to be. I think recovery is almost as responsible for breaking up relationships as using is. Hopefully in time she will wake up and see you for who you are.
Yes, in the past you did somethings that you shouldn't have done.(We all have) But to continue bringing them up isn't going to make it any better. And Beth my heart goes out to you, I know that some days Matt can be the kindest man who walks this earth. But on those other days I want to throttle him for the things he says to you.
would he be any happier if you were back to using? So what if you paid the cable bill without his permission. Would he have yelled at you for not paying it as well? You did the responsible thing. A bill needed taken care of and you took care of it.
This being Friday, maybe the weekend will be better. Get some rest and put it out of your mind. Look towards tomorrow and what the day will bring. We are all alive and have much to celebrate.
Yours,
Dee

Subject: Re: A Suboxone Forum Check In Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:28 pm

Hi Cathy,

Like they use to tell me when I wanted to start my own group, all you need is a coffee pot and at least three people. The twelve steps was taken from the Bible. This is a book for everyone. You are entitled to use the twelve steps as well as anyone. I'm pleased you want to help other people. Where there's a will, there's a way. I had a daydream the other day. I thought about all of us out in the pasture around a fire and getting to know each other.

I'm doing okay. I'm back doing another show and dead tired when I come in. I've got to be back at seven in the morning. I had to check in before I went to bed to let you all know you have my heart. We all have something to work on while we grow stronger because of it. You are all filled with gratitude. This is a good thing.

Nite for now,
Barbara

Subject: Re: A Suboxone Forum Check In Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:29 pm

The coffee pot fire and good friends. I can't think of anything better.
Sleep well

Subject: Re: A Suboxone Forum Check In Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:34 pm

You're so sweet.

Number of posts : 256 Age : 67 Registration date : 2009-01-10

Hi everyone, I am back again. Beth, You and Kimbo seem to have the same relationship problems. Dee is right. There are alot of breakups goin into recovery. In my couples counseling group a few of the couples have broken up and did not continue with the counseling. I truly believe that the counseling saved my relationship. So Beth and Kimbo HINT! HINT! Beth, I don't know how much more you are going to be able to take this. What he is doing to you is considered abuse. Call me later if you need to talk.

Thank you Barbara for pointing out to me that the 12 steps was taken out of the Bible and its for everybody. It would be great sitting around a campfire with coffee in hand and just talking to everybody.

Dee. It is going to be open meetings in my town for people in the surrounding areas. My Doctor will also require her Suboxone patients to attend. I do like what you mention about the meetings you know about.

Well I have to go for now. I hope everybody enjoys their weekend.

Love, Cathy

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