Ashame and in trouble

Marie,
You are not an idiot. Never think that.
I remember when you talked to the doctor about raising your dose of Suboxone and because he had already printed the script he said it was too late. Which is actually a crock of crap. What kind of doctor walks into a room with the patients prescription already printed out BEFORE he sees that patient that day.
One that is full of Quack that what.

This doctor is clearly not thinking with your best interest in mind but about how much money he can make off of each patient he sees.
And there is something the nurse can do about it. She can and should talk with the doctor and see what they can do to help you. He is after all your doctor.
I am so angry after reading your post. And I hate it too.

The whole purpose behind prescribing Suboxone is to help addicts. Not to make money!! Hell they make enough money prescribing other opiates.
We have got to get you to another provider ASAP. This is one provider that really should be reported.
Is there anyway that you can cut your dose down and try to stretch it.
You don't want to take any chances with filling a script of Vicodin. If you provider should decide to run a UA on you it could show up and he could drop you from his program.
I just don't know what to say. But your not an idiot, he is.

Not sure if the doctor would check or not. But if you fill a prescription at the same pharmacy as the one where you get your Suboxone, that pharmacist is liable to call your provider and tell them about it.

If you could cut that one strip into fours that would give you about 2mg per day and should keep the withdrawals away. But that's only giving you four more days not 2 weeks. If you don't take anything for a couple of days you would probably be ok withdrawal wise. But you would have your pain to deal with. That is a total of 6 days. Still not 2 weeks.

I don't know what else to say except to call that office. There has to be something that nurse can do besides flap her gums. Excuse me for not being very professional right now, I'm still angry over the whole thing.
You should have never been put into the position by the provider and when he told you to take extra if you had to, he should have made a notation in your chart.

Hi Marie!

Sorry I haven't read this post until this afternoon & didn't get back to you sooner. I feel so badly that you are having to go through this situation right now. Or go through it at all really! I am so pissed at your doctors office & their lack of help for you to get through this ordeal. That is what he is there for- to help you through these times! I hate to see you have to go back onto the Vicodin for even a short time BC of the withdrawals that it can cause, not to even mention the deception that it requires of you when you are trying SO HARD to get away from that lifestyle & have been succeeding so very well at doing it! Yet, I do understand that there are times that you have to do what you have to do.. Please just be careful & remember that this is NOT YOUR FAULT even one little bit. Your doctors office has completely dropped the ball on his behalf! Yet, it is not him that it is going to affect, but you & only you- his patient! It just makes me so mad that his office will not even take the time to check with the doctor about what he had told you previously about increasing your dosage. You certainly do need another Provider & ASAP! I wish that there was more that I could say or do for you to get you through this time period, but I am at a loss for words that he can actually get away with doing this to you! Please just don't beat yourself up over something that you have NO control over (easier said than done, I definitely know that!) & remember how far you have already come with your recovery, knowing that you CAN & WILL get to this point again very soon!! (and hopefully with a doctor who understands that being a doctor means caring about your patients- not just their money!!!) I am always here if you need to talk.

Hang in there my friend!
Much Love & Strength,
Beth

[b][i]

Hi Beth,I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get back to you. I feel dead inside. I don't feeI have much to offer.
I'm funtioning but that inner peace is all shot to hell.

I'm working on finding me another Dr. I need to find one that takes my Ins. I'm going to call my Ins. to see if I have to pay for it if it's going to take appeal after appeal every month to get my money back. If it's not too much and it's a good Dr. I'll try to find a way to pay for it.
I need to have a Dr. that I can depend on. When I call the office for them to answer the phone or at least call me back. I don't want to take the chance of something like this to happen again.
I had called about having a X-Ray on my bad knee and I've not been able to even get them to call me back about that. This was before all this other stuff happened. There is no good reason for them to not return my calls.....NONE.

I put my name on the site Dee gave me and there is another one I found as well. I may ahve to travel some but as long as it's once a month it will be worth it. I should have known this was too good to be true.

Anyway,I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you. If I get to feeling better I'll come back to chat.

I do want to say how sorry I'am that you having such a hard time with family. I swear family is the worse sometimes.
I've been thru similiar to what you going thru with your daughter. I wasn't using back then but her grandmother insisted she would be better for my daughter than I was. It was a tug of war with everything I did. It took my daug. getting older to see the real truth and when she did she felt horrible of the way she had treated me.
Teen years is a rough time to deal with anad when u have family that feel the need to get in the middle of it only makes it worse.
Hang in there and she will come to realize the good mother that she has. She just needs to grow up some more to see it.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Love,
Marie

[i][b]

A lil update of what's going on...

I got a ph number of a Therapist on the link I got from Dee. He emailed me back and said to call him today. I called and I told him all about the Dr. I'm seeing and said as everyone else had.... Find a new Dr. He gave me the name of a Dr. that he works with. The dr. gives the Suboxone and they keep in contact especially if a pt. is having a hard time that they talk often.

The Dr. he told me about is not as close as the one I have now but my husband told me no problem he would take off work and take me the first time.
He said he thinks she will take my Ins. so I'll call tomorrow and see.

I told him about the script being ready before he even saw me and he said that is no good. He was saying about calling the Dr. office and I told him how there is either no answer or no one will call back. He seemed a li surprised but said sadly there are a few out there like that. Lucky me,I found him first go round.

I also asked him what he thought about me filling the Vicoden and the Dr. finding out. He said normally after the first visit Dr.'s don't check again unless they feel the person is using or comes up with a dirty UA.

So,I'm going to call tomorrow and see about finding me someone new and hope I can get in soon and they will take my Ins.
We shouldn't have to worry about these Dr. taking our Ins. for this. They take it for everything else. It only makes it harder on us.

I guess they figure if we spent money when we were using then we could spend money to get clean. Not everyone spent money while they were using. I know I didn't. It's cost me more trying to get clean than when I've tried to get clean.

I know this post is kind of all over the place but that's where, I'am all over he place.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Love to you all

Marie

[i][b]

Hey Beth,
Thanks for the concern,hon.

I think I'm still going to the 3rd. Dr. tomorrow. I'm calling her back to be certain that i will get no surprises like the last one with him telling me I have to come back every week at 200.00 a week.

I think once I can get settled with a Dr. it will help greatly. I'm not sure how I feel b/c the stress has been so bad that I've hardly eaten and when I do I have to force it. I'm very shakey and nauseated. So,I'm not sure if I'm not stabulized from the Suboxone or if it's stress. I'm in serious need of a Counsselor but first I have to get this Dr. situation under control.
This one is not close to my home but if it's once a month and she is good or as good as possible then it would be worth the ride. I'm also concerned about me having problems when I go to fill my meds since she doesn't have a Medicare number. I called the Pharmacy and he said he didn't "think" there would be a problem.
I also have to pay her cash 200.00 and I doubt if I will get my money back since she is not part of Medicare.

Why does htis have to be such a big problem?
When I was getting the opiates the Dr.'s had no problem taking my Ins. now that I want off them they don't want to take my Ins.

Best part is some of these same Dr.'s are also pain mgmt. and take Ins.l for that.
Wow,nothing like ripping off a addict trying to go into recovery.

I'm sorry I've been away so long. The stress has just wore me out. It's also affecting my home life,which is another stress.

I'll let you know how it goes.

If you have any other questions,ask away b/c it might be something I've not thought about.

How are things with you? Have you heard from your daug. since they left for vacation?
Hang in there on that. We'll talk more about that soon. I've been right where you are. It's hard enough to have teenagers but when you have someone in the family that "think" they can do better does not help our daughters.
Might I add,shame on others that think they can step in and try to take over.We are these girls mothers and they not helping that child.

Girl,I can get on a big roll about that situation.

Thanks for everything.

Love,
Marie

[b][i]
Hey Dee,
Thanks for keeping me in mind asking that question.
I called the Pharmacy and talked to another person and he said he didn't think there would be a problem.
I got to thinking that what she may be talking about is needing a PA. Since my meds have already been approved I don't "think" that will be a problem. I think until Oct. I should be safe. I'm approved for the Suboxone until Oct. then I have to go thru the whole ordeal again. But,I'll worry about that in Oct.

This is just what I'm thinking she might be talking about. Heck,I don't know anything anymore.

So far,this lady seems to be nice. I called her back this morning to ask if I was going to be facing any surprises. Like I need to come back every week or two weeks. She said,no,once a month. I don't want to put too much hope/faith into her until we meet. Although,she has called me several times. She says she cares and her calling me instead of her staff I'm hoping that is a good thing.
I don't think she always has someone there working in her office. She said it's a small place so I'm thinking she is just starting out.

Maybe,just maybe....If she is just starting out I'll be okay for a lil while. The first 5 yrs. is the best after that they seem to not care as they did at first. I say this from dealing with Dr.'s the last 21 yrs of my Lupus.
It is a hour drive if there is no accidents on the interstate but it'll be worth it if she is okay.

I have a appt. for 2:00pm tomorrow and I will let ya'll know as soon as I get home

You right,I won't feel relieved till after I have those meds in my hands.

Beth,if you feel up to it please let us know how your appt. went.

Love,
Marie
I think after getting burnt by 2 Dr.'s in 2 months it's got me on high alert.