Hello Friends

Subject: Hello Friends Sun 28 Aug 2011, 1:17 pm

[b][i]

Hello,Dee,Beth and all our new members.

I've been away but not forgotten you guys. I've been very busy,it's like I've woken up after sleeping for many years.
As some of you know my daug. Kristy moved back home from Ga. That has been such a blessing. Biggest surprise is it looks like hubby is really coming around. I don't want to get too excited about that one just yet.
I've had a few days where my Lupus has flared up but I'm dealing with it.

I wanted to say hello and I hoope everyone is doing well.

Marie

Subject: Re: Hello Friends Sun 28 Aug 2011, 10:42 pm

Hi Marie,
Good to hear from you. Glad to hear that things are getting better with your hubby. That is encouraging. He probably sees how things can change now that the insurance stuff is taken care of.
I hope you get to feeling better in regards to the Lupus.

Things are okay here. We are dealing with Irene right now. The electric company came through earlier and cut the power off to downtown area. I live in the downtown area and we have a lot of creeks near us. We have had a lot of flooding and the winds are just as bad.
The weather man is predicting a good forecast for tomorrow and through the week. I hope so.
I called my providers office on Friday because I have my appointment tomorrow morning. I was willing to go in on Friday in case they weren't going to be able to make it in. But they said they'd be there and if not, they would make sure everyone was taken care of.
I believe they will. For as long as I've been with them, I've never had a problem. I will let you know tomorrow how it goes.

It's been a long day. It has been a long time since I've had to deal with any Hurricanes or Tropical Storms. I thought I left all of that stuff behind when I moved back up North.

It's been quiet around here lately. I hope this means that everyone is doing well in their recovery.
Dee

Subject: Re: Hello Friends Tue 30 Aug 2011, 11:25 am

Hello Marie, Dee & everyone!!

How are things going for all of you today? I hope well, as my day has certainly started out that way! Very Happy

My oldest daughter has already left for school & I am in the process of getting my little kindergartener ready to get out the door. She loves school so much that she is waking up an hour earlier than what she needs to & is completely ready to go, despite not wanting to eat her bacon that she specifically asked to have for breakfast. Her bus doesn't even come for another 15 minutes, but she has been dressed & ready to leave for an hour. I am so glad that she is enjoying it so very much! It would be a huge struggle if not & for this excitement of learning, I am very grateful. Like a Star @ heaven

Of course, she is still adjusting to her new schedule & it IS truly a very long day for a 5 year old. She leaves on the bus at 8:35 & doesn't arrive home until 4:50. That is a very long day for just beginning her schooling career, as they do go all day & everyday. She was a wreck the first day that she came home, but yesterday she just popped off of the bus, had a snack & went outside to play until nearly dark. Thankfully, it is getting dark earlier (in this aspect anyways) since over the summer, I did let them play outside every single day until it did get dark. I had to call her in a bit earlier last night to eat dinner & get her bath so that she could get into bed at a decent time, but as I mentioned, she is adjusting. Yesterday, I forgot to put this name tag on her that they have asked the parents to make sure that the students wear for the first 2 weeks of school that identifies which bus she rides, her name, classroom & teacher's name. I felt so badly that I had forgotten to send it on her that I drove up to the school & asked for her to come to the office so that I could go ahead & pin it on her. She came bouncing down the hallway with a buddy (they have them go places together in pairs, which I think is a great idea) & they were holding hands while smiling away. She came in & asked me why I was there. LOL! I told her that I just had to pin on her name tag & she stood there quietly & allowed me to do so, then said, "I have to get back to my class now Mama!" I was so glad that she didn't fall apart upon seeing me & that she was acting so very grown up. She grabbed her buddies hand & they went skipping back down the hallway before I was even out of the office door. She came home happy & talking, talking, talking about everything that they have been doing. She had music class & made art projects, which she just couldn’t wait to show off to us. She is doing so well with it all & that puts my soul at so much ease, as I was a nervous wreck about sending her too early. She only just turned 5 in June & is one of the youngest students in her class, but by far, she is excelling & her attitude is wonderful about going back. It’s just so hard to believe that my baby girl is a sophomore & now my next baby girl is already in kindergarten. I can remember bringing them both home from the hospital the day that they were released after being born & I just wonder how much faster time can actually go. It seems to feel like I just brought her home just last year & now she is hanging out with the neighborhood friends that she has made over the summer as well as new friends that she is making on the bus & at school already. Now I only have my little man, Matty-boy who is home with me throughout the days & he feels lost with his sister gone as she ran the show around here between the two of them & what they were going to spend their time doing. Not to even mention that all of the friends that they made over the summer have also returned to school, so he is pretty lost for how to occupy his time. I ask him if he wants to read a book & we get a couple of pages into it & then he wants to move onto something different. The computer, crafts, his cars & track are all only holding his attention for mere moments because he is not used to getting to make these decisions on his own. It always seems to be Caroline who is making up the games for them to play & she would tell him what his role was in the activity. This time will be very good for him as well. He will begin to learn a lot on his own & it will give the two of us some one on one time that we have never really had before. Yesterday, we ran errands & he loved that he was the center of attention instead of me having to call out for Caroline to get back over to me as she wandered throughout the stores. He was so good, well behaved & listened so very well.

Now comes the “fun” part of the story… Uh-oh!! As we were driving, I began to hear a clicking noise coming from my van that I haven’t ever noticed before, but couldn’t determine where it was coming from & it wasn’t doing it all of the time, but just once in a while. So when Matt returned home from work, I mentioned it to him & he took a look after we had run to the bank & he could hear it at times as well. He had me pull over & open the hood where there was antifreeze spraying off of the belts, but there was no indication that the van was running hot, so it really didn’t make any sense. We got it back home & he began to take a look at it & determined that I had hit something, therefore pushing the lines into the path of the belts. The problem was is that I did NOT hit anything. He didn’t believe me, as the evidence spoke for itself. I agreed with him that it looked like it had been damaged, but there was no paint or damage to the bumper, although it was all looser than it had been previously. He was unconvinced that I had not hit something with the van & wasn’t telling him the truth. He started in on me about it all & what had I run over, despite that there was no paint or damage to the rest of the underneath of the vehicle. He kept continuing to question me to get me to tell him the truth, but the thing was that I was telling him the truth, but he said BS. This was going to lead into a fight as he was accusing me & showing me the “forensic evidence” & I did agree with him that it was indeed damaged, but if I had hit something, wouldn’t the bumper have damage or be cracked. He continued to let me know that he did not believe me. I had no answer for him as I KNOW that I had not hit anything, nor had I run anything over, but he went on to tell me “that he could see it in my eyes” & that I should confess it now to prevent lying to him & ruining our trust that we have been working so hard on regaining throughout these past few years. Anyways, as I was contemplating what the heck could have possibly happened, I thought of going to my grandfather’s funeral on Saturday & we had to park in the grass, where I had backed into my parking spot. When we left the cemetery, I had to drive through that same grass, but at the bottom there was a deeper ditch than what I had anticipated & the nose of my van went down into it fairly hard. And now this all made sense as there was no paint damage & it was equally loose on both sides, so if I had been in an accident, it wouldn’t have made sense for both sides to be damaged. I realize that it went down further than what I had thought it did into this ditch, but it was driving fine & I did not notice any damage at that point. Plus, it was an hour & a half away & I drove it home without any problems, so I didn’t even think about that being the reasoning for this damage. What has happened, as far as I know at the moment, is that I pushed the radiator hose into the belt & as I drove it yesterday, it started to wear a hole through the hose, no bigger than a pinhole, which was why it wasn’t doing the noise all of the time, but only when I was coming to a stop & the belt was rubbing against the radiator hose. I pray that is the only damage that I have done to it & Matt is out there attempting to figure it all out right now to get it back on the road for me. He did sincerely apologize for accusing me of lying to him & trying to get me to tell him the truth when I had been all along. It just didn’t make any sense to either one of us as we knew that there was damage done, but I also knew that I had not run over any curbs or hit anything, but if that were the case, then where did the damage come from? The truth has set me free. I had another incident earlier in the day with my Mom who called me to ask if I had used her or my Dad’s debit card at a Marathon gas station to charge up $182.00 worth of merchandise. She called me first when she saw the discrepancy on her bank statement before calling the bank BC she wanted to give me the chance to rectify the situation rather than having the bank press charges against me when they investigated it. I have never used my parent’s credit cards for anything, even when I was using & it hurt my heart to think that she would consider calling me first to make sure that I was not stealing from them. I did not use her cards EVER & I told her this & asked her to please go right ahead & have it fully investigated & whoever did take this from them to be fully prosecuted for the theft of her card. I guess that I was being tested yesterday regarding my honesty & as I previously said, “the truth has set me free!” I KNOW that I did not do these things that I was being accused of doing & it hurt to think that after all of this time that I still have the stigma of being a liar as I was when I was using 3 plus years ago. I thought the saying went that “time heals all wounds” but they are obviously not forgotten, despite what these two very important people in my life have been telling me about being so proud of where I am today compared to where & how I was living my life while being an active addict. The lies & unaccounted time & money that I was spending instead of paying the household bills that I was left in charge of handling. They are all being paid now & there is no money being spent that is not accounted for, as well as I am not lying to anyone any longer BC I have nothing to hide from anymore. It’s a great feeling to know that I am innocent of these accusations, but it still hurts me inside to think about how I gained this reputation in the first place. I guess that it will take much more time than what I had thought to regain this trust that I have lost in the past. Anyways, that was yesterday & today is another day. I have to go in for my mammogram & biopsy at the hospital right after seeing my Psychiatrist, so I hope that my vehicle will be running by that time. I have an hour before I am due to leave…

Marie, I am so happy to hear that things are going along better for you & your family & that you are finally getting everything settled with your Provider & insurance. What a huge weight that must lift off of your shoulders! Are you feeling better from this bout of Lupus that you have recently been going through? I hope that you are doing well & I am so happy to hear that your hubby is “coming around” & that you have your daughter back with you. How is your grandson doing? Has he started back to school yet? What grade is he in? How is that whole situation going within that household? Any better? I surely pray that it is getting better. Please let me know how you are managing everything these days as I have missed hearing from you when I come onto here to read what has been happening in all of your lives.

Dee, I am so glad that the storm didn’t do more damage than what it did end up doing to your area & that you are indeed safe in your home & with power. I could write a lot more about all of that, but I think that I covered most all of it within my email to you. I was just very concerned about your well being & how your area would fare throughout this hurricane. I am so relieved that you are safe as you know how much I care about you & want the best possible life for you. Especially knowing that you guys have been struggling, the last thing that you needed was to have to come up with more money to fix damages done by this major storm. I am very grateful to God that He let it go right around you, but not harm you or your property throughout all of that mess. Especially with that dam breaking, it could have been so much worse.

Anyways, I really do have to get moving if I expect to make it to these appointments of mine today. Please keep me updated on how everyone is doing & know that you are all in my prayers, as I know that I need as many as I can get as well. XOXO!

Yours truly,
Beth I love you

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