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Hi all. Ive been on suboxone for a month dur to almost a ur of relapse on pain pills. I was on it 10 yrs ago for about six mths and got clean from a six yr heroin addiction so the stuff really works. This time is different. Im trying to rush the ttaper bc im ashamed, im a mom now, ive relapsed, and im out of the AA loop. I feel so alone . I want another baby but had a miscarriage. Its like my fourth but im blessed w a two yr old son who i love but im not used to bein a stay t home mom. Had a concussion in april and lost my job of ten yrs and not one person ( the women at least ) called to c how i was. So im dealing w all that closure as well. Plus mu husbad is on subs now and was taking pills for two yrs an i never knew it. I swear some days i feel like its no big deal and we are doin great and then others i feel like we r so screwed. We bought a home had a baby did many thigs and not all on drugs. But I i am a pros at beating myself up. Ok that was long. Anyone have any quick taper iseas and remedies to help u get thrh the rough parts especially moms w little ones?

Welcome to the forum !!

Congratulations on getting back on suboxone after your relapse. Not everyone would do that but you did it !

I'm sorry you had to deal with those women at your work. They were'nt your real friends if they treated you like that. Move on. You don't need drama or toxic people in your life right now.

Worry about yourself only !!

Take it one day at a time, ok ?

Welcome! I'm not sure about how to offer advice on a quick taper. Everyone is different & my plan is a slower taper as not to feel any withdrawals. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you on that matter, but blue is right, take it one day at a time. And don't worry about your ex-co-workers, toxic people have a way of making us feel worse about ourselves. It is important to recognize who is toxic and do your best to keep them at arms length. I'm sure it hurts to see that they haven't checked in on you, but that there just proves that they are not worth having in your life. That is a lesson that was hard for me to learn, but I did learn it and I choose only to give my energy to people who really deserve it. The people who make me feel good about myself & the people who have positive energy.
I understand the shame in being a mom and having an addiction. My little guy is 7 years old & I used from the time he was 2 up until last November.
I will say, however, that the people on this site will show you true, non-judgemental, unconditional guidance & friendship. You want to have them as part of your recovery because they are so understanding & there really is no wrong thing to share. There is a lot of helpful information provided by Dee & others as well.
We are here for you. Can I ask you how much suboxone you are taking daily? Maybe I can try to offer some insight on a quick taper. I would like to try to help.
Good luck to you & Have a Happy Friday

-Rae

Hello Cassie!
I saw you at chat last night but you left.. I was wondering what happened to you! Glad that you made it though!

Welcome to our little forum family!! You found a great place here!

In my opinion, fast tapers aren't a good idea. I've been there.. I was addicted too pills and patches for 5 years and my first try at getting sober I decided to go with suboxone. I went to a provider and got a two week supply. I decided I would use that two week supply to taper off of it.
Long story short I ran out of suboxone ad immediately relapsed.
I used for about a week and realized that I did it all wrong!
This is my second time around and I've been on suboxone for 6 months and plan to be on it for a while longer!

If to do decide to stick with a fast taper I say good luck!

I'm sorry to hear about the women you worked with! But Blue and Rae are right about toxic people! Keep them away! They're not true friends if they did that to you!

I also have a son he will be 3 years old next month. And I am so happy that I am sober for this birthday.

I know that being a stay at home mom is hard, I do it every day, but you have got to see te positive part of it! At least you are with your baby every day and get to spend quality time with them!

Can I ask you why you want to do a fast taper? I want to let you know I wanted a fast taper as well because I was afraid of getting addicted to the sub. But after reading a lot of stories about all kinds of people's experiences, I learned 2 things.
1. Stop reading so much about other people's experiences, it feaks you out because everyone is different & most of the time you just hear horror stories (when someone is doing well, they most likely won't take the time to go online) BTW, I had not found this site yet when I was doing this
I did learn something though
2. After gathering as much info I came to a conclusion. A long, slow taper is best.
When I was in detox, they to suggested not to stay on for so long, but they didn't mean to get off it immediately. Their suggestion for "me" was no longer than 6 month's to a year. And that was for me, they had suggested someone else to stay on it for a while. Everyone is different. It depends on "your" addiction. However, I learned if you get off too soon before you've dealt with your addiction & the causes there of, your cravings can & most likely will return, lets just say, you have a much greater chance at relapse. There are a lot of moms here. We know the guilt & other feelings involved. We may all be different, but a mother's love is understood by moms.
I also wanted to point out that I also learned that when you taper from 2mg's its best to do that verrrrry slowly as not to be uncomfortable.
I started off at 8mg of suboxone in November of 2012. I am now at 5mg in February. In my opinion, as a mother, I want to do this right for my son, my husband & most importantly, for myself.
I hope this info was a bit useful for you. If there is anything i can do to help, please let me know. I wish you the best of luck
--Rae

Cassie, Rae is right! Mothers do understand other mothers. Before this site to probably thought you were the only mother out there with a problem like this. I know I did. I put myself down, I kept telling myself what kid of mother he's addicted to pain pills when they have a child to take care of. I guess I felt like I was a bad mom for beig addicted. But we didn't get addicted on purpose! Sure some of us saw signs that we were getting dependent, like getting sick when we ran out, but all that did was scare us sith at we never ran out. Before we knew it we needed a lot more to feel "normal" , well you know what I mean wen you're addicte and feel abnormal without the pills, and we are in a deep dark hole calle addiction.

I just want to tell you that you are not alone! There are women here, men here, and yes even mothers. Just because we got addicted first mean we are ba mothers! I mean I got addicted in the first place because my father gave me a Vicodin at 13 years old. He taught me that drugs were not dangerous and that taking, smoking or snorting something would make all of your problems go away. But that's enough about my story.

I know that you're ashamed, as you said, for getting back on after wig clean for a while.. But craving NEVER go away! That is something us addicts will have to ffht for the rest of our lives. See what happens is when you get a couple years of sobriety under your belt you stop working on your recovery. You think that you've beat it. You let your guard down, and the craving come back, the urges come back, you start missing the high. I've read in an amazing book that "addiction is a disease of amnesia" Meaning when you quit and you've been sober for a while, you forget all of the bad things, you forget the reason why you NEEDED to quit in the first place.
Don't beat yourself up! Everybody makes mistakes! A lot of people relapse, but that doesn't mean it's the end! You get sober and try again! And I'm sure this time you won't fail!

Now on to te subject of a fast taper. Honestly I think it is a bad idea. Suboxone is meant to be a tool on your recovery. It's meant for people to be on it, not be using, be out of active addiction and not have to worry about cravings. So that they have time to work on themselves. When starting your recovery there are things that you need to work on. Like Rae said, why you got addicted in the first place? Why you self medicated? What were you using the drugs to cover up?
Those are all things you need to figure out. Suboxone is great to keep you sober and out of active addiction while you work on yourself and learn the tools you need to stay sober after you get off of the suboxone.

I believe a rushed taper is bad becaus te faster you taper the more withdrawal symptoms you have, the more uncomfortable you are, and the more cravings you have. Also I thin it is bad because you HAVE to give yourself healing time. Time to figure out the things I talked about (Why you got addicted.). You also need time t learn to cope with what you were self medicating to cover up. For instance I self medicated to cover up the problems in my life, most people self medicate for the same reason. Other people might self medicate fr depression. My problem was post partum depression, and I'm bi polar and I have ADHD and I wasn't on any medications for any of my mental health problems.

Anyways I was saying you need time to learn how to cope. You need to learn the tools you new to say sober after you get off the suboxone. Lets say you got high because of stress. You didn't know how to deal with stress so you got high to cover up the feelings of stress. You need to learn to cope with the stress before you stop taking the suboxone or you're not gonna know how to cope with it sober and you'll crave the drug of choice.