Todays Thought from Hazelden 09/11/2012 Freedom

Before I posted the reading, I wanted to say that I know it's a day late, but this reading touched me because of my life being so busy right now and sometimes seeming so chaotic. The reading really spoke to my heart and I hope that all of you may can get something from it as well. If you're new and you don't get it now, you will soon enough. As my life has continued to get busier, I have asked myself this question more than once....I thought that recovery was going to give me freedom and so much free time. And truth be told, in early recovery, I had more free time than I knew what to do with. That has certainly changed and for that I'm grateful. My life may be a little rushed, but my addiction was complete insanity, and I'll take the problems I have now over the problems of active addiction any day. Truth be told the things that are filling up my time always were happening (with the exception of my recovery related commitments), but someone else was handling my responsibilities. Now as a gratefully recovering addict, I get the opportunity to become who I was meant to be. I said earlier that my life was chaotic sometimes now, but unlike the chaos of my addiction, this chaos is the most joyful thing I have ever experienced. My point is that my world hasn't really changed, I have and the way I view the chaos and handle the chaos has changed. I probably had less freedom now than I did in my active addiction in some ways. But in most every situation I can think of I am more free, because I am free to choose how I will react to and handle a situation. So my new way of life has lead to personal freedom, not from my responsibilities, others expectations, or life's mundane struggles. I wouldn't want to have personal freedom from those because I have learned in my recovery that the only way to have freedom from these things is to stay high until they put a tag on your toe and bury you. I have true personal freedom, because I can now run my life responsibly and freely accept the consequences for any mistakes I make.

Today's Thought from Hazelden Is:

Reflection for the Day

Even with a growing understanding of The Program and its Twelve Steps, we sometimes might find it difficult to believe that our new way of life leads to personal freedom. Suppose, for example, I feel imprisoned in an uncomfortable job or troublesome personal relationship. What am I doing about it? In the past, my reflex reaction oday'swas to try to manipulate the things and people around me into being more acceptable to me. Today, I realize that happiness can't be won that way.

Am I learning that freedom from despair and frustration can come only from changing, in myself, the attitudes that are perpetuating the conditions that cause me grief?

Today I Pray

May I be given clear eyes to see and then to stop myself when I am manipulating the lives of those around me, my daily associates, friends, and family. May I always be aware that change must begin within myself.

Today I will remember

Change from the inside out.