things to look forward to.

you know how as a drug addicit, you not only have to live with the shame of people looking down at you but you also hurt the one's you love and who love you over and over. well you no longer have to do that and right there is the first massive weight off your shoulders, and the same weight comes off your loved ones shoulders.
it's only a craving, it only last's a short time, distract yourself, you might sweat, you might dispair, but it dosent last long. i walked, jasus did i walk! when you make the effort and stick with it, you'll see the relief on your familys faces. you can now give them back their lives and let them worry about something other than you.
you can go on holiday and not have to worry about getting stuck in a different country and not being able to score. instead you can kick back, ring whoever and say 'looks like i'm stuck on the beach for another week'.
do it for you and you alone, everybody else will thank you for doing it. you can only be true to yourself. addicition isnt living, your not free as an addicit, always ducking and diving. stand up to it, dig deep and in the shortest time you'll have a different life and wont want to go back. you can now do the things you hadnt time to do before. care free days are the best days, when was the last time you had one?

You know you are so right, I remember not being able to plan even a simple day. Couldn't make plans because you never know when you might run out and need to make a mad dash to do a pick up.
Waking up everyday with the day already in progress in your head without your even taking a step out the door.

Things done and feelings of guilt.
Times change and with recovery comes the days of trust and hope once again.
Now I can sit on the porch and watch the birds at the feeders, take a walk and just be me.
My family no longer worries about what may become of me or if they will get that dreaded phone call. They've learned that they can believe in what I say and when I'm running late they know I'll walk through that door.
Thanks for posting mi5shaw, please when you have some time let us hear from you again. I noticed that your from Ireland, I've never been outside the U.S. What's it like over where your from.
I've heard it's beautiful.