EWWWW Im so frustrated!!!

OK girls I don't know what to do! I went for my 2nd appt. and guess what he did? He cut my dose from 2 down to 1.5 already...he wanted to go down to 1. I said no way. Seriously, I only had 1 week on 2 strips a day n he zapped me. You know, how do I go in the and say its not working without looking like a drug addict all over again? I go back Friday, I had to call and beg for some to get me through because I couldn't get by with 1.5. Other than that, I used 3 enemas before I got any relief and I went and bought miralax. It hasn't worked yet, but I haven't been hungry enough to eat,eat. Saturday morning will be 3 weeks for me and it seems this time, Im so much more focused and ready. The first time I was sober, it was forced. My hubby told me either do it or we are done. I was ready in some aspects but not all. This time, it was 100% me. I love myself when I go to be and love myself when I wake up. It seems like there are not very many people on this site anymore. I don't even see a lot of new posts unless Im not looking in the right place. Well, I just thought I would stop in and let you guys know what and how I am doing. Im going to fight this everyday for the rest of my life, and its so much easier knowing I'm not alone. Let me know when the next group meeting is, I really miss the chats and look forward to hearing how everyone I did know is doing. Have a good night!!

Hi Tammy, I've seen your name a few times in the past, but never reached out. My name is Rae. I used to be a regular, but I let life get in the way & my visits here became less & less, before I knew it, months had passed. I read your post & please forgive me if I'm wrong, but you are trying to wean of sub completely right? Is this as per your doctor? husband? both? Are you ready or do you feel forced? You said it was your second appointment, so I guess it's a new doctor? I ask these questions because I just posted under "checking in" about my taper. How long have you been on sub? I've been on since November of last year & I honestly thought I'd be off them by now. If this is a new doctor, is there any way to find a new one? I say this because it can add so much stress to your situation to have a doctor that does not allow you to be in the driver seat. My doctor asks how I am doing. He knows my goal is to get off & offers great advice on how to do it, but if I go in & say that I can't drop yet because I've tried & it's very uncomfortable, he agrees to give me another week at my current dose & leaves it up to me to try to cut back. Once you get down to 2mg, it is harder to taper at the 25% that is recommended. I now take 1mg in the morning & 1mg in the afternoon. I was having withdrawal symptoms by 4am if I took the 2mg in the morning. So splitting it up helped me tremendously. I am not taking any more, just at different times. Now I cut a small sliver (maybe 1/ off my morning dose. I barely notice a difference. Sure I feel a little different, but nothing I can't handle. Then next week, I will be taking 1/8 of a sliver off the morning & an 1/8 of a sliver off the afternoon dose. And so on. It seems to be working well. I read up on suboxone A LOT before I started treatment. I analyzed it & studied it inside & out. And what I learned from other people's experiences is that it was easier to drop your dose down to 2 mg, but it's much harder to taper below 2mg. My doctor also confirmed that info when I asked him about it. I also learned that there are so many doctors out there that don't let their patients be in control of their recovery. They treat patients like a statistic with a one size fits all plan. And that can be very frustrating & uncomfortable. Please forgive me if I am way off, but I thought I'd offer my opinion in case you find any of it useful. I feel so bad for those who are in situations like yours, your recovery is hard enough, you shouldn't have to deal with pressure from your doctor or others to get off the sub before you are ready.

I don't want to overstep any boundaries here, but I know a few people who struggle with their husbands that don't understand how this treatment works. Is it possible to educate him? He may not be aware that the suboxone is simply a tool in your recovery. It's not a replacement for your drug of choice & it's not a crutch. It is helping you live your day to day life as you learn what is the cause of your addiction. So you can treat the source of it which will lesson your chance of relapse. It helps with cravings & withdrawal symptoms so your focus is in the right place. Suboxone is not the cure. Again...I hope I'm not way off here & please forgive me if you are already aware of all this. I don't really know your history, but hopefully I was able to give you something that can help.

I wish you the best of luck! And please let me know how you are doing.

-Rae

Good morning Tammy,
When you talked to your doctor the first time that you saw him did you talk about weather or not you were going to be using Suboxone as a maintenance medication or did he say he was going to do a detox with Suboxone. I ask because that is what it sounds like and if that is the case you really need to talk to him about maintenance if that is what you want. That way there is no mis-communication.
If he is doing a detox, we need to find you another provider before he stops your Suboxone altogether.
Try doing as Rae said and split your dose. It will help. Taken in the morning once is ok if you are stable in maintenance but right now it just doesn't sound like that is right for you.
This way, when the morning dose starts to wear off you can take that little bit in the afternoon to see you through.

Addiction treatment is not the same for everyone and should never be treated as so. We are all different and our bodies all have different needs. What is good for one person may not be good for another. The sooner a lot of these doctors realize this the better off their patients will be.

You have a lot of people pulling for you here on this forum. We all care very much about you and are here anytime you need us.
Take each day as it comes.
Dee