It's been a while

It has been a few months since I have posted due to my health. Eventually leading to my suboxone dr dropping me last week. I took my last 8 mg dose yesterday and I am scared. Vi already am feeling crapy and know its gonna get worse. Can anyone give me any advice. I started at 12mg a day about four months ago and 8mg for the last three. To now nothing. HELP

Good morning Angel, it is good to see you. I am sorry to hear that you have lost your provider. May I ask why he dropped you from his program? Is there any way that he would take you back or have you tried to get back into the program.
You still do have some Suboxone in your system with the long half life of the medication but soon you won't be feeling very well.
If your doctor won't take you back into the program will he or your primary care provider at least give you some support meds to see you through.
Have you thought ahead to make plans as to what you will do now? Meaning, seek another provider, go into residential or even start attending meetings in your area?
Please don't give up.

I have an appointment that I have to get ready for but will be back to check in on you when I get home. I will keep you in my prayers.
I will be back Angel,
Dee

Hi dee

He dropped me because on July 3rd I had an incedent where I fell and had a seizure at a gas station near the school I attend. I hit my head splitting it open and had to go by ambulance to the hospital (this has never happened before). I have never passed out or had a seizure before. When I got to the hospital I told them I was taking suboxone and gave them my providers number. They tried to call him but he does not have an answering service. Only an answering machine. They left a message with no return call and eventually ended up giving me morphine( my head was split open and I now have stitches). They also sent me home with a prescription for hydrocodone. With I filled because I could not reach him from wed night until Monday morning due to the holiday. When I finally did get thru I let them know what happen and the nurse also he wife informed me that I had broke the contract and he would no longer see me. I asked if he would at least call me and either tell me what to expect or refer me else where and she said I'm sorry but no he is not comfortable with that. So I took my last 8mg does Monday. And I've been trying to find a new dr. With the help of the here to help program I am waiting for a call back from a provider. Fingers crossed. I really just want to find someone who will taper me off the right way. Thanks you for replying. Angel

Angel what happened is wrong to say the least. His wife/office person had no right to make that decision. It sounds like she is the one who is running the office there and not him. Sounds like she was not comfortable.

Glad to hear that you have registered to find a new provider, hang in there. Sometimes it will take awhile for a doctor to contact you. Did you register on NAABT? If not, please do so that you can cover all of your bases and try to get into someone soon. Here is that link: Treatment Match, NAABT  After you register, your information will be forwarded to the doctors in your area and if one has any openings they will contact you by email so keep checking your email. The registration is good for 2 weeks. After that 2 week period is up, you can log back into your account to update your status if you haven't found a provider.

SAMHSA also has a treatment locator on their website and here is the link for them: Find Treatment SAMHSA

I hope this will be helpful to you and please don't be a stranger. We do care about you and want to help.
Dee

I am just checking in. The headache is unbarable. To the point I'm considering going to the er to get hydros until I can get back in treatment

So I got through the night with Advil pm. Can someone please tell me what to expect in the next few days. Just so u know. I went wed to Monday with no suboxone. Then took my last 8mg dose on Monday. Just wondering how bad it's gonna get. I just took a Xanax because my chest feels like its caving in. Thanks guys

Well I got a call from a dr. Thanks to dee. I registered on that site. He is willing to take me private pay. And it's 170 a month. He is going to start me on 6 mg a day and taper me in the next few months. So I'm off to the apt. He is going to see me in half an hour.

Oh!! That was fast and I am so happy for you. Remember to be yourself, and check in after your appointment to let us know how it went.
Again, I am so happy for you. Congratulations Angel!
Dee

Dee
I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without you I would still be lost and in horrible pain. I just got home from my apt. And took my dose about half an hour ago. I feel completely better and this dr is going to work on tapering me off safely. I talked to him about all of my concerns with the old dr. And he assured me that I did not do anything wrong and he will most Deff help me. He also set me up with a therapist and he is a psychiatrist so he will be handling any mental health issue I may have. He said the medication my primary dr had me on was a very dangerous combination. He hade on three different seditives all at once. It sucks that I have to pay out of Pocket for the visits but I think he is most Deff worth it and my insurance will cover the urine tests and prescriptions and the therapy. So it's 170 a month. I can handle that. And hopefully in a few months all I will need is the therapy. Again you literally saved my life. I felt hopeless and was ready to start using again. I now have hope again and what seems to be a good dr helping me. Now to see about getting a new primary. Any suggestions. I live in Schenectady ny. Thank u again

Angel

Oh and they took the stitches out yesterday. And going for an EEG to find out why I had a seizure. I'm pretty sure it was the cocktail of medication I was on. And I have to say now I am only talking suboxone and clonideine. And I feel so much better I'm not falling asleep mid conversation anymore. I don't think I will ever take those medications again. He had me taking 150 mg of Zoloft. Xanax .5 three times a day and buspar(so?) 7.5 twice a day and I turned into a walking zombie.

I wanted to add something to what I posted above but when I tried to edit my post my internet went out so I will try again.
Angela you are the one who did all of the work here not me. I did provide you with the links to help find a provider but your determination is what led you to where you are today. You didn't give up even though it was getting harder and harder to stick it out.
I have been where you were, at the brink of using but not yet making the permanent decision. I am so glad I didn't and I am just as glad that you didn't
It sometimes seems that it is darkest just before the calm. Or at least that is how I think the saying goes. However it goes- what I just said fits.

The power that some of these doctors hold over the patients is very frightening. We are not bad people nor should we be treated that way. I am lucky to have one of the good ones who really cares about her patients. Hopefully this is the same type of doctor that you have found.
I wish there was something that we could do about the rest of them. The ones that can't see past our addictions, or the ones that think we don't matter.

Even though you will have to pay 170 per month for your provider it is better than what a lot of others are paying. A regular office visit for my sons primary care provider is about 150.00 per visit and he is an established patient- has been for years. This is not for Suboxone but regular care. Shameful isn't it?
Doctors have had to hike their prices due to what they are paid for reimbursement by medicaid and medicare who really don't pay much at all.
For each visit that I make to my provider my medicare provider pays her about 30.00 yes that is thirty dollars. It is crazy.
Now that you have the provider part taken care of, take the weekend off. Start fresh on Monday, try and take some for you this weekend. I know you have children to take care of so maybe a picnic to the park or something would be nice.
I will check in over the weekend to see how things are going.
Dee