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You guys have been so helpful already, so for that I would like to thank you. I am at work right now and today I am feeling much better physically. a little pain in my back, but im dealing. What I am really struggling with, as Im sure some of you did is emotions. I think of myself as a fairly strong person. But I do tend to take on more than I can handle sometimes(who doesn't) I have learned to take a step back and breath every now and then so that helps a lot. Here is my question for you I am begining to recognize what some of my triggers are and some of them i am ok with changing for example I go to school part time(working on my BA) I work part time( about 20 hours) I am a single mom and my disabled mother lives with me. I do pretty good at managing all of this but when i get overwhelmed I have learned to let it all go(for very short periods of time) until i get myself back together. But what do you do when u realize that some of those triggers are people. people that you care for deeply. I dont by any means want to cut this person from my lefe. He has been extermely helpful and i love him with all of my heart but he is dealing with his own demends(not drugs) and i find that i want pills just to block out the pain at times.. any advice(other then leaving him) would be greatly appriciated. I am terrified that the only solution to this is to leave him and at this point i dont know as though i could handle that. I know he is struggling too and if i ever said this to him he would be devested. I have suggested to him that he seek professional help and he actually did talk to his dr but his dr immediatly put him on med(which didnt help) so he has now sworn of any medication. I am lost when it comes to this and i really want to help him but i fear in doing so i am going to lose myself again(and i wont let that happen) so if the only way to solve this is to let him go i will but if anyone has any other suggestions please share i wont get offended or defensive i just really need help with this and even i dont agree with what someone has to say i will still listen and accept any advice you may have thank you again for listening and for all of the help you have already giving me Your truely Angel

Hi Angel,
Sometimes what you have to do to take care of yourself is not easy by no means. We all have at some point had to deal with people that affect us.
I understand that you care deeply for this person. Maybe if you try sitting him down again and try to explain to him again how you feel. Medication can help a lot in some cases but sometimes it takes trying different medications to find the right one for that person.
Also try to explain that medication is not always the answer by itself. Dealing with demons takes time and patience and soemtimes therapy. Talking to his doctor is a step but his doctor can only schedule him for short lengths of time and probably doesn't really have the time that it would take to talk about what his issues may be. Try suggesting a therapist if you think he would be open to the idea. If not, maybe this person is not the right person for you.
I understand your not wanting to hurt him but in not hurting him, will you be hurting yourself?
Think about it, I am not saying to up and cut this person off completely but until he can deal with his own demons maybe you should cut down on the time you spend with him.

You are doing a tremendous job in your recovery. Progress takes time, give yourself that time and don't try to rush things. We all care about you so if you need any of us, please just let us know. You don't have to post anything your not comfortable in talking about in public. Use the pm function on the forum. Your not alone, remember that.
Dee