Managing stress part 2

A continuation to Managing stress in recovery:

SUMMARY

Managing stress is vital to your health and well-being.
Lifestyle changes, relaxation techniques and changing your outlook can help you to manage stress.
Making small changes will keep you from feeling overwhelmed.
Nonstop stress is a reality for many people. Some people choose to live a fast-paced lifestyle. Others have ongoing burdens, such as chronic illness, marital conflict or money problems. Others take on caregiving roles that demand time and emotional investment.

Your body and mind are designed to recover and recharge after periods of stress. But this cannot happen if stress persists. That is why finding healthy ways to manage stress is vital. Here are some ideas to help you take control of your stress:

Find the cause of your stress and make a change. Not all stressors can be avoided, but many can. For instance, let’s say that you tend to overcommit. Set limits and be ready to say “no” without guilt or excuses. If you have job stress, ask your boss to set clear priorities. Be willing to work out conflicts and misunderstandings with the people in your life. Built-up anger or resentment is a stressor you don’t need.

Reframe your stress. People can build up stress in their minds to the point that they lose perspective. Setting expectations that are too high can have the same result. Try to take an objective look at the stressors in your life. Are they really so bad? Are you seeking perfection where perfection isn’t needed? Can you view a stressful challenge as an opportunity rather than a burden? How would you advise a friend in your situation?

Get enough sleep. This may seem impossible, especially if your stress keeps you lying awake at night. Your sleep troubles may stem, in part, from poor bedtime habits. Try these tips to improve your sleep quality:

Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
Avoid late-night snacking, alcohol or rousing activities.
Don’t read, work or watch TV in bed.
Make your bedroom cool, dark and comfortable.
Take time to relax. Find a few minutes each day to let off steam and wind down. Relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, have been proven to induce your body’s relaxation response. This is how your body naturally recovers from stress and restores normal body function. Prayer and meditation are other ways to return to a calm state and shore up the inner strength to manage stressful moments.

Eat right and exercise. This is a toughie. Stress is very good at spoiling good intentions to eat right and exercise. So, as you can, make small changes to improve your lifestyle. First, avoid emotional eating—that is, eating too much or eating unhealthy foods to deal with stress. Second, find a physical outlet, such as brisk walking. Exercise is also a physical way to release stress and can improve sleep (see above).

Lean on friends and family. People feel stressed when they don’t have the resources to cope with the demands they face. Ask people who love and care about you for help during stressful times. This could mean taking your kids so that you can have a few moments to yourself, helping with household chores, or listening to your cares and concerns.

Get ready to manage your stress

Making a change—even one that is good for you, like taking steps to manage stress—is easier said than done. A 2011 stress study by the American Psychological Association found that participants reported lack of willpower and lack of time as the main obstacles to making lifestyle and behavior changes to reduce stress. Willpower or self-control is something we can learn.

If you are reading this article, then you are ready to start managing the stress in your life. Make a plan to deal with your stress. Take on one change at a time. Otherwise, making too many changes at once will become a source of stress. Don’t expect all your stress to go away. But do expect to feel less stress and more control.

When stress won’t go away

Some people feel trapped by stressful relationships or situations. If stress continues to be a problem for you even after making changes, get help. Talk to your doctor or a mental health provider. Your doctor may suggest medicine to help with stress and worry. Therapy can help you recognize and change behaviors and situations that contribute to the stress you feel. The good news is that you have options to deal with stress so that you can start feeling better.

This is a good article Dee!
But I have a question.
What if I am feeling overwhelmed trying to change the little things?
It says to change the small things to keep from feeling overwhelmed.
But I feel overwhelmed trying to change the small things.
I don't know what to do about my stress/depression. As you already know it really has got me down. Even changing something small. I'll give an example of something that just happened. My son likes to come in my bed with me in the middle of the night. He's done this since he started having nightmares a few months ago. Anyways it really stresses me out when he comes to my bed because its me him and my fiancé. I end up either squished against the wall or falling off the edge. (They're both bed hogs) But the point is I get poor sleep quality and that causes me to be stressed. So tonight, actually about 20 minutes ago (it's 2am now.) My son came to my bed and I was immediately upset. Because this happens like every night. I knew it caused me stress so I tried changing this little thing. I put him back on his bed and put the baby gate in front of his door so he couldn't get back out of his room. But now I am feeling stress from guilt because he wants his mama to comfort him. And now I'm stressed about that. I just want to be able to sleep the night through without being kicked and hit by my 3 year old son all night. And I want to do it without feeling stressed because of the guilt of not letting him sleep in my bed.

I guess to sum it all up, by trying to change a small thing that causes stress for me, that change caused me to feel even more stress. Which is the worst I the two? I can either be stressed because he's in my bed every night and I get crappy sleep or I can feel stressed because I feel guilty about not letting him sleep in my bed. I just feel stuck.

I know I keep going on and on about stress and depression and I'm sorry, I just have nowhere else to turn. My fiancé doesn't really understand what I'm going through completely because he isn't a recovering addict and he doesn't know how important it is for me to not be stressed out. He thinks I can easily brush it off like he does. Wish I knew how he did it! He can get through any stressful situation like its just spilled milk! I ask him how e does it and he says "I don't know I just do" I wish I was one of those people who can easily deal with stress like my fiancé does.

Again I am sorry for going on and on about stress and depression. I just want it to go away. I just want to be happy and not depressed!

I have a therapist appointment tomorrow so hopefully Debbie can get te doc to up my depression med Prozac. I believe I mentioned before my regular doctor Dr. Nowak is on vacation and his replacement refuses to change my dose. Debbie said she may be able to talk him into it. After letting him read the notes from the therapy session. Dr. Nowak will be back Friday and I've scheduled an appt for the day he comes back. I know he will up my meds.

But still, taking the Prozac will help with the depression, but I am still not taking care of my stress. And I need to learn how to do this so I don't end up using again, after I get off the suboxone, because I couldn't properly handle stress and wanted to self medicate it away with the familiar high, the same way I used to. I want to be conepletely ready and know how to deal with stress and depression properly before I get off of the suboxone. I know I still have a while, but I need to start practicing now!

Any suggestions about my son sleeping in my bed problem anybody? Dee?
I need to know the best way to deal with this stress.

The articles say to sleep well, eat right and exercise. I do eat right, I exercise daily and I try my best to sleep right. What other things can help me deal with stress? I already have a good outlet to blow of steam, exercise and running. But it usually only helps when I've got that burst of adrenaline after the workout. As soon as that is gone the depression creeps back in and takes over again. I just feel like I can't eat it! And I need to, I have to, I just can't fail at this!

Please help me!!

Good morning Jasmine,
Your son wanting to sleep in your bed is a common thing with children especially at his age or at least it was with my son. Try this, it might help you get some sleep and it might help him also.
Is it a problem with him being in your room or on the bed? If it is not the room and only the bed, try making him a pallet next to your bed so that way if he feels the need to be near you at night he is able to sleep on the pallet and you can get some sleep.
Then, over time little by little you can move that pallet a little bit away from the bed over a period of time until he is back in his own room.
My son used to wait until I was asleep and crawl up on the bed and sleep at the foot of my bed. So I know where your coming from.
Little boys seem to be especially attached to momma and there is nothing wrong with that just like there is nothing for you to feel guilty about, your a great mom please don't forget that.

I was reading over some of your old posts and came across one in the area of talking about craving sweets. In that post you said that you are still angry at yourself because you didn't seek help sooner. You need to forgive yourself Jasmine, the past is in the past and no amount of looking back or trying to take it back is going to change out pasts. But we can look forward and know that we are not the same people we used to be.
Grab your future, it is okay to want to try and make things right and it is okay to make mistakes. We are all only human. Try taking your little one out for a walk. I don't know if you have any parks nearby and if you don't. Load him up in the stroller anyway and walk, enjoy the fresh air. That might help him sleep at night and if it does it would be an added bonus.
You can't change everything in a day, step by step. Little by little, you will get there.
I'll be around if you need anything.

Thank You Dee. That is a great article on stress. I have about 90% of the symtoms, the teeth grinding, neck problems, headaches, racing mind, heart palputations, etc.... Everyday I live feeling as if it's only going to take one more thing (no matter how small) to send me over the edge. It's a horrible feeling. I spoke with my therapist today. She suggest i talk to my sub doctor about my stress and anxiety. She says I constantly look & talk like I am in a hurry to get to my next appointment. I used to do yoga, but lately, I haven't got anytime. Between running my business, being a weight loss health coach, and running my internet business, I have days where I don't have time to shower (ew gross!) From the moment I wake up I am physically running to the point where I am sweating, just trying to get work done. This morning I woke up & drank my tea while I was answering questions from my clients, then trying to get my sales quarterly's done by the 20th, shipped out 3 packages from ebay sales, faxed documents on a workman's comp case & filed DOT compliances. That is what I did before I went to work. I worked all day, came home to read your article on stress (I promised myself to get that done today) Now it's about 7pm & I am about to work a load in the back of our truck in my driveway (again). I can't find the time to sit down to come up with a plan to manage my time. I keep saying once the holidays are over it'll get better, but those who know me say I'm like this all the time.

I've decided to set a goal (after reading your article) I will make it a point to make it better after the holidays. It's less than a week away & I know I can't start immediately. I am joing my yoga again. I miss it so much. That is a promise I will make to myself. To go to yoga at least once a week. I'll let you know how it helps.

Thanks again for the great article, it gave me the drive to want to change the stressors in my life

Thanks Dee for your advice. But I've actually tried something like that before. I put the playpen in my room and that wasn't good enough he wanted to e in my bed. He really is attached to his mama!
Blue had suggested that I get him a new stuffed animal I keep with or new blankets or sheets and show him that his bed is a happy place. An it would give him something to e excited for at bed time!
He doesn't have a problem sleeping in his bed at naptime, during the day.
I think he problem is ring afraid of the dark. I got him a night light today, along with a new teddy ear and opened up his new bedding that I had bought a while back. (I was gonna give it to him for Christmas but I'll try anything to have my Bed back! LOl!

About the blaming myself thing, I don't think I know how to let go and forgive myself.

But today overall wasn't so bad with my depression. Today I decided that I was going to BE HAPPY no matter what! Or how down I started to feel!
So I smiled all day long! Everything I did I was smiling. I probably looked crazy running around my house cleaning with a big cheesy grin on my face LOL! Good thing nobody else could see me.

I also talked to my therapist today and she ave me some good advice. I think with the advice I got from you, Blue, Rae and the articles about stress I can start to take control and handle this depression!
Blue forwarded me and email from Dr. Laura. And I checked out her website and listened to we today! That really made me feel a lot better about being a stay at home mom. I feel less guilty that I'm not working. And I don't feel worthless because I'm not working. I have a full time job already! With 24 hour shifts 7 days a week! And that job is being a mother!

Thank you all for you kind words and support! Thanks Dee for posting the articles about stress! They really did help me. Thank you all for you advice and thank you Blue for sending me the info about Dr. Laura!

Rae! I am so sorry to hear that things are so hard for you! That is just such a big work load! A girl like you, especially one in recovery shouldn't be having all of that stress! Starting the yoga again is a good idea! I worked out extra hard today! Because I needed an outlet! And it felt great! Hope things slow down for you Chickie!

Have a good night ladies.

XOXOXOXO-Jasmine