Todays Gift from Hazelden for June 21, 2012

I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.
--Reggie Jackson

We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally.

Living a real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. Recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.

The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.

You are reading from the book:



Touchstones by Anonymous

reprinted from an email from Hazelden.org. If you would like to subscribe to their daily inspirational messages visit their website. I really enjoy their daily e-mail.

Monica,

Thanks for posting that, I think I will check out that site.
I could use daily inspirational messages on those rough days !

That is where I usually get most of my Thought's for Today. They have some great messages and they usually seem to fit that day.
Thank you Monica

I like their stuff. There is also a daily inspirational message from a group called intherooms.com. They also have good online meetings a couple of times every day for everything from AA to overeaters anonymous if people are having trouble finding meetings in the real world I would suggest trying that site.

I am actually a member of in the rooms. I forget who told me about them but they do have some good stuff and seem to be a very welcoming group of people.

I just signed up in the Rooms. How do I find you two ? If you want, can you send me a PM and we will exchange usernames over there.
Thanks !

I'm sorry BlueEyes I didn't see this earlier. I did accept your friend request over there.

BTW when I recommended intherooms I hadn't spent much time there, but during last night's chat blueeyes told me about a person who was being attacked for using suboxone. I went to check it out and found a bunch of holier than thou a$$holes espousing the NAWS bulletin concerning DRT (Drug Replacement Therapy) and really being very nasty to this person. I did stand up for him, but as usual ignorance breeds contempt and people fear what they don't understand. Thank God that I don't need someone to validate my recovery, because in their minds I'm still using. The funny thing is that the NA organization doesn't mind to take the money I send them from the meetings my unclean self chairs every week. I wish people would realize that NAWS only makes suggestions, not rules, and practice the principles NA was founded on like honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. The strength in the NA fellowship lies in the unique experience of each member in recovering from addiction. Anyway I apologize and I will be more careful of recommending sites in the future. I told those people that those kinds of attacks and judgements are what turn people away from NA and very often turn them back to the street. I pray that no one who I gave that addy to experiences that treatment and that if they do they have enough recovery time to handle it and realize that most of the people who criticize others recovery do so because they doubt the legitimacy of their own program. I hope that something I said may have gotten through to them because people die everyday due to that my recovery is better than your recovery attitude. The way some of these people treat people who have chosen to use medication as a recovery tool is identical to the way addicts were treated by AA. Back then addicts were told in AA meetings that they were welcome to attend but they didn't have a problem. Now NAWS is saying that if you are on maintenance medication you are welcome to attend but you are not clean and you should not be involved in service work. Ironically, in my community, if it wasn't for me and my sponsor there would be no NA service work being done, and my sponsor to is one of the unclean mass of recovering addicts taking suboxone. The discrimination those early addicts faced is the reason that NA's first step doesn't say we're powerless over drugs but instead we're powerless over addiction. That's why I tell people to approach NA with caution and take what helps with their recovery and leave the rest. One of the primary principles of NA is that each person is free to work their program in the way that works for them, but unfortunately some people don't get it and never will. I will establish a meeting where people can share there recovery and what helped them (even if it included standing on there head naked in the town square) if it is the last thing I do. No one should have to feel like they have to pick and choose what they share or risk ridicule. We faced enough judgement in our active addiction from the "normal" people, the last thing I want to be part of my recovery is judgement from those who are supposed to be there to help and support. I will close for now. I'm sorry that I rambled they just got under my skin, they really did.

If anyone did have a bad experience because I gave you that addy I apologize from the bottom of my heart. If you get the chance check out the site and look up the discussion on the second page of the discussion title Suboxone started by someone with the screen name of bruisedsoul.

Monica,

You said something that is so true and I QUOTE:

"No one should have to feel like they have to pick and choose what they share or risk ridicule. We faced enough judgement in our active addiction from the "normal" people, the last thing I want to be part of my recovery is judgement from those who are supposed to be there to help and support."

Although, I am a member of "InTheRooms" I FEEL like that ! And that's the reason I never felt like I fit in or that I have something to offer over there.

I'm still glad you gave me the link and I still TAKE from it what I NEED and leave the REST !!!!

Thank you for going there and sticking up for all of us ! YOU ROCK!

I will continue to defend Medication Assisted Recovery because I really believe that I have been given the opportunity to have the best treatment available by combining it with 12 step work. Even after I taper, I will continue to fight for unity in the recovery community. And like I said, if it's the last thing I do, there will be meetings in the real world where people can discuss whatever worked for them, be it abstinence, suboxone, methadone, whatever, I truly don't care how people recover I am just greatful when they do.

Wow, I just came from reading and again, wow.
In reading the post I could feel some of the hatred and anger and it was not necessary. One person in particular has so much pent up steam (for lack of a better word) and I hope they are able to get past that anger one day. I fear for their own recovery. You cannot judge so harshly and expect to remain in recovery yourself.
I do hope that one day we can all come together in recovery and support one another regardless of what that persons chooses to help them through their own recovery.
We are all individuals and our recovery has to be just that individual. Not one big solution dumped into one huge melting pot. It doesn't work that way.
Monica, I am proud of you for the way you spoke up and defended something you so strongly believe in.
Years ago when I went into my first treatment program I was told that only 1 out of ten people there would make it. The rest of us would eventually either go back to using or die.
Statistics had been that way for so many years and maybe just maybe there is a reason for that.
Now days we have the benefit of medication assisted treatment and the statistics are changing. For those people who are able to maintain recovery by the route of abstinence I applaud them and for those who chose treatment with medication I equally applaud. It doesn't matter how you get there does it? As long as you are able to get there.

amen sister. I give up on defending myself to those judgemental people. Thankfully I have loving support here and in the real world. It scares me to think what happens to the 95% of people who don't fit that perfect recovery idea of abstinence, because unfortunately NA is the most widely known and respected support group for recovery from narcotic addictions. I wish I could at least get them to look up the difference between dependence and addiction. Oh well. Prime example of ignorance breeding contempt. I wish they would realize that the my recovery is better than your recovery attitude has no place in NA or any other part of the recovery community. You are so right about these folks needing to look at their own programs, because all of that judgement and resentment are not part of what NA was intended to be. Unfortunately, they take one bulletin and run with it or part of it anyway, cause that same bulletin says that pain mgmt is ok as long as a person is honest with the dr., their sponsor, and continues to work their program to the best of their ability. The NA basic text also says that one of the fastest ways to relapse is intolerance of the spritual principles of honesty, open mindedness and willingness. The attitudes I saw over there don't reflect those spiritual principles. I will keep those "perfect" recovering addicts in my prayers and move on. They will not change their opinions regardless.

and by the way...we can applaud all avenues to recovery...we don't have to be like those judgemental a$$holes. I know my recovery isn't perfect, but neither is anyone else because we recovering addicts like every other member of the human race are just that human and by definition imperfect. I will continue to work my program honestly to the best of my ability and when people who hold all of that bitterness, contempt, and judgement in their hearts relapse, with the help of God and my support system I will be here to help them on their journey.

The difference between dependence and addiction. Maybe when you are able to start a group in your area that could be something to be printed out and set up as a reminder to all that attend.

I have walked and ran through hell so many times in my efforts to recover and it took me so long to get to the point I am at today. I am grateful everyday for those experiences and have taken them as learning tools.
To judge it not up to us but for our maker and even then it is merciful. All we can do is remain strong and be there for anyone who needs us regardless of who they are or what roads they chose.

complete agreement from me. It is so refreshing to see someone who understands that judgement is neither necessary nor helpful in recovery or life in general for that matter. And from the perspective of NA judging another's recovery is kinda like doing someone elses inventory....useless and probably not accurate. Thank God for like minded people and people who can agree to disagree.