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Hi everyone,
When I first started Suboxone, I was told how wonderful I was going to feel...true.
How I was making the right choice...true. What I wasn't told is I was going to be dependant on this medicine now for years. I've tried my best to taper off to nothing only to find I was fighting a quit that hasn't happened yet and don't know if I can ever beat it. I have a compromised liver and Hep C. Was I told this was bad for me? No. I'm not real happy right now. I am greatful to be off of opiates, but the state I'm in is nowhere I want to be.
Thank you for this chance to share this,
Barbara

Barbara,

While I appreciate you leaving a comment.
I am terribly sorry that your having a hard time.

This is exactly why we need to revive this forum, so we can offer each other support and be there for each other.
We are all going through the same thing. We got hooked on Opiates for one reason or another and we chose Suboxone as our recovery tool.

So why arent we sharing more stories and helping each other out?

I'm here, Dee is here and Barbara is struggling.

This upsets me.

We need to come together and help each other during this recovery.

[i][b]
Hello to everyone,
I'm GUILTY for not coming around lately and I'll try to get better at this.

I've been on Suboxone for about 14 months. The first 4 months was a nightmare. I came close to saying the hell with it. I so wanted to get off the pain pills. I found a Dr. that was not only willing to take my Ins. but was very close to home. That was a major mistake. I was so terribly stressed. His staff was as I called them "Bulldogs". I was actually put on probation b/c I smoked a cigarette 3 buildings down from the office. They would change my appts. on me and left me hanging one month short of meds.
I then went to another Dr. and when I went to fill the Sub I was told that the Dr. was flagged and not allowed to write scripts any longer. They took the script.

At this point I was literally freaking out. I was so stressed out for several months.
Thank God that I came here and Dee was a God sent for me. Thank You,Dee.

Finally,I decided I needed a real Dr. that I could depend on. I have found one that is really good. I do have to drive a distance but it's so worth it. I do have to pay for it but after all the stress I went thru it meant peace of mind for me.

I started out at a very high dose of 32mgs a day. Recently she has been dropping my dosage and it scares the heck out of me. I also use it for my pain.

I know at some point I will have to get off the Suboxone. That scares the hell out of me just thinking about it. Hopefully,not no time soon.

All that being said,for me,it has literally saved my life. I certainly tried many times and several Rehabs and I just could not stop taking 30 pills a day and not to mention Dr. Shopping. It's by the Grace of God that I'm not in jail.

So,that's the short version of me and Suboxone.

Thanks for starting this thread,Blue Eyes

Marie

Dee and Marie,

THANK YOU for responding !!
And Marie, especially for taking the time to answer since you havent been here in awhile.
I had no idea of the background that you both experienced !

This is just what I meant about being here for each other for support. That's what this forum was created for and I am really hoping we can bring it back to life.

While I am SO HAPPY to get THREE long time members and LONG time users of Suboxone.
I am only one person representing the NEWBIES !

WHERE ARE MY NEWBIES ?????? We need support and help. Are you being inducted? Are you waiting for your appointment?

We need to hear from you !!

I tried Suboxone for the first time 4 years ago. I managed to stay clean on it for 2 years and then I relapsed. I managed to stop using on my own for a while after that then I relapsed again. The reasons for my relapses were simple I wanted to use again. I don't make any excuses for it and I assign no blame to anyone or anything other than myself. I wasn't sincere about wanting to quit in those early attempts. I was doing whatever I had needed to do to manipulate the system and get people off of my back.

A year ago on June 10 I relapsed for what I hope will be my last time. I had been clean off and on for the 2 years prior without maintenance meds and without any significant program to speak of. I finally got to the point where I was either going to stop what I was doing or I was literally going to stop living. Fortunately, with the help of support groups suboxone and my higer power, I realized that recovery is a gift. I realized all of the things I missed in my life and I got serious about getting better. I am currently on half of my original dose, because my dr. decided to start my taper almost immediately because of my previous clean time and experience with Suboxone. I have had no withdrawal symptoms at all. I have a very good relationship with my dr. and I decide when I'm ready to decrease my dose. We usually take me down 1 strip a month, and I don't hesitate to discuss any uncertainty I have honestly with my dr. I am fortunate that I have found a dr. who truly understands addiction from both a physical and psychological standpoint because he is a recovering addict as well who was successfully treated with Sub. I am also fortunate to have a very good support system that I have developed in the last year. I am so grateful for my life, my recovery and all that it has given me. Recovery means getting back something you lost, but for me it has meant going somewhere I have never been because I was so young when I started using. I have had bumps along the way and I am so glad that very early on someone told me that recovery is a pink cloud in the beginning but be sure to pack your purple parachute because you will fall off of the cloud. I was ready for the bumps this time because I have worked so hard at developing a good program. For any of you who are newbies please get a program that works for you and work it honestly to the best of your ability, because in my opinion that is truly the only way you will achieve lasting recovery. Suboxone is a tool, not a cure and you have to put in the work of recovery to get the rewards.

Good Luck and thanks for the opportunity to talk openly about my treatment.

[i][b]
Welcome,Monica

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I totally can relate to what you are saying.

I was on Suboxone before as well. This time go round I knew it was a gift and a blessing.

I'm having problems with my spacebar. I'll write again soon.
I wanted to welcome you and thank you for sharing your story.

Marie

Monica,

Thank you for responding to the thread.
You truly have a lot to add to our community here and I am grateful to have you here with us.
You seem very wise and confident and certainly positive at this point of your recovery. which I believe is THE KEY TO SUCCESS !!!

Your fortunate to have the relationship you have with your Doctor and I believe it does help when you have someone that's been through it, treating you.
I never understood people, even people on Forums that give all this advice and yet they never experienced withdrawls for themselves, how could they possibly understand what we are feeling or going through?

Looking forward to reading more from you.

I just wanted to update this thread. There have been quite a few NEW MEMBERS that recently joined our little community.
I would love to hear from them

Remember no one is here to judge you. WE all understand, we are all going through what your going through. You don't have to go it alone !

That being said, we would love to hear from you.
Where are you in your recovery, are you curious about Suboxone or you already started ?

Where ever you might be on this road to recovery, talk to us. We've been there !!!

LET'S GO NEWBIES ~ COME JOIN THE CONVERSATION, WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU !!!

Hello everyone!

I wanted to share my story today because yesterday was such an important day for me. Not only was it one month being clean after starting suboxone, but I saw my father...who because of my addiction and getting in trouble with the law (caught with pills) quite a few times, he was so heartbroken and was reluctant to see me.

I first called him in the morning to wish him a happy birthday, and he was very happy to hear from me and told me I sounded like "the old you" again. That's when I decided to surprise him and pop over his house with a birthday card and flowers. When he saw me, he said I looked great and we hugged for a long time and even cried.

Not seeing him for so long was particularly hard because he is battling kidney failure, and it has been really hard on him. It is so important to me that I see him on a regular basis because who knows when his kidneys will take a turn for the worst.

All in all, yesterday was the happiest day I have had in such a long time. I have been battling my pill addiction for 5 years. When pills weren't around, I turned to snorting heroin. I remember saying once that I would never use a needle....and I eventually wound up trying that.

I am proud to say that with the help of suboxone, I am clean now, I feel great...and things are really turning around for me, including my court case, because I let my lawyer know that I can give him documentation from my doctor (including a clean urine) that I am clean, and also told him about this website as my support group. Instead of getting one year probation, he is now working with the district attorney for a motion for dismissal!

Thank you everyone for listening! Stay positive because besides being on suboxone, a positive attitude is everything!

Congrats to you jellybean. I am so glad that your legal troubles are looking up. I just celebrated my year clean and one of the hardest things that happened to me early in my recovery was having to face some charges that were over three years old. The authorities in my wonderful little county wanted info about a robbery they believed I had. Long story short, I didn't know anything about the robbery and wouldn't have told them if I did. I was already in recovery and out of the scene and figured I would end up in prison. I firmly believed by this time that whatever the plan was for me it would be what was right for me at the time. I took in my recovery documentation from groups and dr and ended up with 150 hours of community svc and a year of probation instead of the 6 years I was looking at. Best of all when the probation is over, all of the charges will be dismissed and I won't be a felon. Considering I had used for around 20 years, I feel so blessed that I won't have to carry that burden. Just keep taking things one day at a time and it will work out. You are doing great.

Jellybean,

I am so happy to read all that you wrote about your Dad.
I know what a difficult road you traveled (I totally know !)
I am so proud that you've come this far.

I know both your parents are also very proud to see you in recovery and doing so well.

STAY STRONG ! and together WE CAN DO THIS !

Hello, I am a newbee here. I started taking suboxone Augst 7 and felt great but also have been reading a lot of postings from a lot of places, most of them being horror stories about not being able to quit.
So 8 days after I started ( 4mg twice a day for a total of 8mg a day) I stoped, I felt good for 6 days and then started having whitrawal symptoms, (not super bad but uncomforble enugh) I started taking them again (about 3-4mg a day).

I have not been back to my doctor because of two reasons: He wanted me to take them for the rest of my life and I don't want to and also my husband does not want me on any drugs (he does not know I stared taking them again).
My doctor gave me 15 8mg pills and I still have two left.
DON'T KNOW IF THE WITHDRAWALS I HAD WHERE FROM THE VICS OR FROM THE SUB
I would like to have some one advise me on how to stop, should I taper off or just stop all together. do you know what I should expect? Will I have withdrawals again?
I appreciate this site, everyone seem so nice and helpful. Thanks in advanced for your help.

Hello Mobe,

Welcome to the forum.
First of all, please don't read into all the horror stories from people that post how they cannot get off suboxone. Most probably arent true. People can and do stop using Suboxone.

What you felt when you stopped (even 6 days later ) was from the Suboxone. Suboxone has a very long half life. 36 hours, which means if you took 8 mg today, then in 36 hours you'll still have 4mg left in your system.

I can relate to having issues with your husband. But you might want to really talk to him and help him to understand why you need to stay on this to help you heal.
As far as your doctor wanting you to stay on it for the rest of your life. In my opinion, is a good doctor, he's not rushing you off it.

The relapse rate is alot higher with people that only detox using Suboxone.

You do need to taper down before stopping or you will feel withdrawal.
I hope you reconsider staying on Suboxone, it really is a miracle drug that has saved my life.

Well mobe i will try this post again. I agree with most of what blue said and I can add to it with some personal experience that I hope you can relate to. I went into rehab hoping to be detoxed from all drugs and be done. Ended up that wasn't possible b/c I had seizures b/c of dehydration and electrolyte imbalances from withdrawals. They put me on a suboxone detox and it worked well at first. But about 5 days after I left the clinic I was in full blown withdrawals. Luckily my old suboxone dr. took me back. As for being on it forever, I think that blue is right and your dr. doesn't want you to feel rushed. People can and do get off suboxone. I'm currently tapering. I started treatment on June 19 of 2011. I started at 32mg. Took that down immediately to the ceiling 24mg, then the next week I went down to 16mg daily. Today 14 months later I take 3 mg a day and I've had very little withdrawal symptoms. While I've been on suboxone, I've taken advantage of the relief it has given me from my obsession with using to work on the real problem me. The combination of suboxone and 12 step groups has saved my life. I could go on forever about the gifts of my recovery. But the simplest way to put it is I'm able to live. I'm able to be the wife, mother, daughter, and friend I was meant to be, and I know that if I had tried to go cold turkey none of this would be the case...If the short term detox with suboxne had succeeded I would have had short term recovery because I wouldn't have had the time to work on the real problem and that's me. With my treatment I have that. I would urge you to stay on suboxone and be treated for an appropriate amount of time based on your situation.

To answer your question about whether to taper or go off period. I don't think it will matter. You don't have enough suboxone for a taper and you will have withdrawals when you run out that will be similar to cold turkey w/d. This is my experience anyway. I'm not a dr and not giving medical advice, but please consider seeking long term treatment. Most of the horror stories, are just that stories. They come from folks who abuse their sub and are kicked out of their program and are bitter and angry because of it. Or they come from folks who are jealous that they never had the opportunity to use it for treatment. That's my experience anyway.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that maybe you can relate to something I've said. If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. I wish you peace, serenity and joy in your recovery journey.

Monica

Hi mobe and welcome!
Both blue and Monica have given you some great information and I hope you take it to heart. Stopping Suboxone because of horror stories or because someone else doesn't want you taking it is setting yourself up for relapse. No one is saying that you need to take it for the rest of your life if you don't want to. I really want to encourage you to make that decision after you have had time to work on you. This is your recovery and it should be what is best for you.
Our families mean well, they really do. Sometimes it takes more education and time for them to accept treatment.
I hope you don't make any decisions that you will regret later.
Being in recovery is a chance to start fresh and live the life you were meant to live. We are here if you need to talk. We do care and want to help
Always,
Dee

Hi mobe,
I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Most of us have at least one family member who simply doesn't understand that for us, it's not as simple as just stopping the drugs. Even if you are successful in managing to become abstinent from all drugs, that's just the beginning of the recovery process. I will share some statistics with you that maybe you can pass on to your husband and hopefully he will understand that whether you are taking suboxone or abstaining from drugs, your addiction has to be dealt with in other ways. Studies have shown that after 1 year people who go off drugs cold turkey stay in recovery somewhere from 1% to 5% of the time, even when they participate in 12 step support groups and things like that. Studies also show that when someone takes suboxone and does nothing else for their recovery that a similar number stay in recovery. Meaning that whether you go cold turkey and do 12step meetings and things like that or just take suboxone and do nothing else you have somewhere between a 95% and 99% chance of relapsing before your first year of recovery is over. However studies have shown that when Suboxone is combined with some sort of support sytem, ie NA, AA, group therapy, individual therapy, your chance of staying in recovery past the 1 year mark improve greatly. The numbers range from 10% to 25% depending on what study you read, but considering that the best odds from other methods are that 5 out of 100 will be in recovery at or past the year mark, it seems that combining suboxone and some type of recovery support at least doubles you chance of being able to remain in recovery.

Be patient with your husband and please from this point on, don't hide things from him. The truth will always come out and you can't build your recovery on dishonesty. It's better to include him and be honest whether he approves of your decision or not, because your disease affects him as well and he deserves to know what you decide to do about treating the disease. You can't earn back his trust and help him to believe that you are changing if you are still being deceitful. Share with him the decision you make and explain to him why you are making the choice you decide on as best you can. I'm sure that you have done things in your addiction that have hurt him and you probably at this point don't realize most of what you have done. It's just the nature of addiction, we become self centered, manipulative liars in order to try to maintain our habit. For us when we are in active addiction, getting our drugs is a matter of survival and the survival instinct will make you do some really messed up stuff. The good news for both you and him is that once you get into recovery you won't have to always be in survival mode. You will be able to start to make amends for the hurts you've caused, once you get some recovery under your belt. Your self centered nature will cease to be necessary and you will be able to genuinely love and be loved in return. If your husband has never experienced being addicted he can't understand that it is something that changes who you are and not for the best, however if you give yourself the chance to receive treatment you will see so many benefits. I have worked with so many people through their inductions and early recovery and over and over again I see them amazed at the life they are getting to live. I see them begin to experience emotions again. I see them start to realize how blessed we are. Recovery does so much for us, but we have to be willing to receive those gifts and willing to work for them.

Suboxone is not a cure for addiction. It is not a magic pill that you can take for x amount of time and poof you no longer have the disease of addiction. Suboxone is a valuable tool when used as part of a comprehensive recovery program that will free you from the physical symptoms of addiction and the psychological obsession that we all have with using so that you can begin to work on the real issues. Drugs aren't the problem for most addicts, for most addicts the problem is the way we cope, or try not to have to cope with issues, and simply the way we deal with situations in our lives. The problem is not the drug...but the person using the drug. The drugs are just a symptom of much larger problems, and that's why it is soooo important to get into some type of recovery program. You need to work on the issues that lead you to using. If you don't do that, no matter what, you won't achieve lasting recovery. I speak from experience.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I have some information about buprenorphine treatment that I'm compiling for the friends and families of some of the ladies I work with at the fellowship I started. If you would like, I can send you the information for your husband. Also at suboxone.com there are resources for friends and families of suboxone patients, so maybe you and he could check that out together. I think that if he can begin to understand that you are not just substituting one drug for another, and when he begins to see the miracles happening in both of your lives because you decided to seek treatment, he will become much more understanding and patient.