i have a question or maybe just a statement i am surprised no one else brought up

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2011-08-22

Suboxene truly is a miracle.But i certainly do miss getting high. I find sober life to be so effing boring. All day at work i am just find but many days after work i am tired and worn out i would love to just get high for a little pick me up to enjoy my after work time. Does anyone else have this problem?

How long have you been taking Suboxone? Do you mind my asking? What is your current dose? I figure that if I'm going to be nosy I might as well go all the way.
If I ask anything too personal, just let me know and I will back off. I don't really want to get into your business, only to help you figure out what is going on.

Part of what may be wrong is boredom. I don't know what type of work that you do but I would imagine it is something that keeps you busy so that you don't have time to think about things outside of work. Once you are at home, you have time on your hands and that leads to some thinking that can be harmful to you and your recovery.

Try and stay aware of how you are feeling. Boredom is what used to get me. I'd be sitting around with really nothing to do or there wasn't really anything I wanted to do unless I was using. One thing would lead to another and I would want to use just once to give me the energy I was missing. Not to mention the warm relaxing feeling that I had grown to love.

If you are having some mental cravings, I would take a look at your dose? is it too high or is it too low?
Have you talked to your provider about how you feel. Would they listen to you?
I don't want to ask you a whole bunch of questions at one time so I will give you some time to respond.
I will be here off and on today. Your not alone, we are here to help.

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2011-08-22

I been on subs about a month. I am on 8 mgs a day a lot of times i try to take less cause i do want to get off sometime. You are absolutly right about the boredom thats what gets to me i find sober life insanely boring. My entire life i have used drugs i was able to control them until i fell in love with opiates. I never thought id live to be this age nor did care but here i am i want to live a normal life. But at the same time i always lived by the live fast die young motto. The problem is not the dose its mental. Like i said i lived my whole life like there was no tomorrow. I am finding sober life to be so boring i dont know what to do. I guess i need a hobby. And yes my work does keep me very busy so dont think about getting high but the other part is, when i come home i dont want to just plop on the couch and nap or whatever. I do miss the energy boost that would get me out doing things and having fun after work

I can relate to what your saying absolutely. In the beginning I had a really hard time not finding enough to do. I found it hard to sit down for any length of time. Part of that, for me was guilt, I felt like if I did sit and do nothing people would think I was lazy. I am not a lazy person I just didn't know how to stop and relax. I had to train myself to.
It was hard and sometimes I still have days where I feel like I need to keep moving.
Isn't there anything that you have wanted to do but didn't because you didn't have the time? Now may be a good time to take a look at some of the things you may have put off until a later date.

It sounds like to me that your whole life has been a never ending quest to obtain drugs and then get high. I remember that race all too well, and there were several times when I had essentially given up any hope of ever being normal. It is just your body tricking you into getting what it wants.

Think about the bad times on opiates, such as when you ran out and went to find some to use, but failed, while getting sick. Remember when you were sick as a dog looking around at all the "normal" people and wishing that you could be "normal" too?

The boredom that your feeling is, you have completely cut out your main activity for the day. It takes tremendous effort, and time to maintain an opiate habit. Now that you have taken that away you need to find a hobby, or a friend who understands what is going on. Anything to occupy all of your new found free time. It gets better, I promise, but it takes a serious dedication to get through.

Those days of not caring about tomorrow and living just for the moment go away. Start thinking ahead. Think about taking a trip somewhere with the money you would have spent on dope. I can remember the first time I thought about my future after I stopped using, and it made me so happy to
have those kind of thoughts again.

If you need anything don't hesitate to post, and I'll check frequently. Stick with it.
This is just me personally, but until you are not feeling the urge to use, I wouldn't even think about stepping down your dosage. There are many other things that need addressed before hand. Get in a good state of mind before stepping the dose down. You can work through it.

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2011-08-22

You are right and thank you much for the advice. It is truly a lifetime of getting high lol. I never really got dope sick though execept one time i had a 15 to 20 oxy 80 a day habit and when they stopped making oxys i went to a non traditional rehab that makes you quit cold turkey omg talk about hell on earth. was clean a while then started on perk 30s then dope seen so many people go down that road that i didnt want to follow so i got in a suboxene program. You are partly right about the new found time but the other part is i remember before opiates after work i would come home and take a nap watch tv and go to sleep. On opiates i would come home get high and do all kinds of stuff and thats what i miss i dont want my life to be nothing but work. I do need to retrain my mind and get a hobby i do have friends who been there and understand i am fortunate there i am going to give this my all. Failure is not an option i have seen so many people end up in very dark places do to opiates and i do not want to be among them

I know all too well about those feelings of complete boredom after a days work. I used to get off work, go home get cleaned up, and then go score. That was pretty much every night for me. That became my everything, and at the time it seemed exciting, and i was always on the go and it seemed like a full life.

It took a little time, but I realized that what I thought was an exciting life, never led to anything of value.

I have found the only thing that helped was exercise and weight training. I know you have heard it before but it really does work wonders. It is unbelievably difficult to drag your self to workout while recovering on suboxone, but when you start, you'll find you have more energy, better attitude, and just feel better in general.

If failure is not an option for you, then your going to have to dig down deep and build a new life with healthy habits. There is no easy way, and suboxone is there to help steer you back into your life.

If you face a fork in the road, just remember you know where that dark road ends; stay strong in your resolve and things will get better.

i have a question or maybe just a statement i am surprised no one else brought up Woman_12

Hello there!!

How are you doing today? How are you feeling? I hope well!! Like a Star @ heaven

I think that you have been given some really good advice from nannamom & grimmred as I've read through the posts that have been written on this topic. I have a question for you & it may seem odd, but are you having a difficult time just being? Are you able to sit there alone & meditate about your day & the issues that are causing you to want to go use again? I truly understand that boredom & the desire to just have that euphoric warm, fuzzy feeling that brings so much energy along with it. Then, when it is gone, I felt like what am I going to do now??

If you don't mind me asking a couple of questions about yourself, I am wondering how old you are as well as what you do for a living? Also, do you have a family? A husband or significant other or any children? How about any pets? I am not trying to pry, so feel free to answer only what you are comfortable sharing, but I do know that these are things that helped me when I was feeling that way. They preoccupied my time, as your job does for you throughout the days. What I hated though was that I still had to do all of these things when I stopped using & did not have the energy whatsoever to have the desire to want to do them, yet they still HAD to be done, so although I thought about that lack of energy all of the time & how bored I was, the time still continued on & before I knew it, it would be time for bed. I would literally make it through hour by hour, sometimes even minute to minute... I would be craving so badly for something to relieve that boredom & I felt stuck BC I HAD to be here taking care of my children when I really wanted to be able to go & do something exciting, beyond the playground & getting ice cream cones. I wanted some excitement for ME!! That is what the opiates had done for me- they provided ME something to do that I actually enjoyed. But it was going to ruin my entire life, as we all know how that road goes by now.... the road to nowhere!!

You sound as if you have that stong resolve that grimmred referred to about not going back to using, as you had mentioned that you had friends that ended up in some dark places that you didn't want to be involved in any longer & that is a great reminder of why you are doing what you are doing now by not using any longer! I also agree with him about not trying to drop your dosage until you feel comfortable in your own skin again. It takes a little while to get to that point & you are only a month into it, so your brain is still adjusting to this new miracle medication that is made for keeping those awful physical withdrawals away, which happens almost instantaneously, but those mental cravings, well that part takes a while. Are you in any type of counseling? I only ask BC when I was induced onto the Suboxone around 3 1/2 years ago, that was a requirement of getting my next script refilled. I have since learned that the very best treatment for remaining in recovery is using the maintenance medication, counseling & even a group therapy. It is such a relief to get those bad feelings that you have pent up inside of you from when you were using & the guilt that it brings along with it out of you to other people who have been in similar situations to your own. Plus, in one on one counseling, you can openly share situations in your life that brought you to using these drugs in the first place. Which maybe just was the boredom that you felt-- I know that was part of my reasoning to continue using opiates after I no longer needed them for pain issues. But if you are not in either counseling or group therapy, I would strongly suggest that you give either one of them a try. You can always stop going if you do not think that it is not helping you, but I think that you will be quite surprised by how much better you feel when you leave these sessions. I was very opposed to going to either one of these at the beginning of my treatment, but I was forced to go if I wanted my next script of the Suboxone & I actually ended up enjoying & looking forward to my next session. I learned alot about myself that I didn't even realize until it was pointed out to me, as well as it helped to fill that void in my life where the boredom usually was. It also helped me gain tools to be able to "talk myself out of wanting to go get that next high" as well as learning to be comfortable just being with myself. I take time each morning to sit alone while I am drinking my coffee & having a cigarette to think about the previous day & is there anything that I did that I regret doing & if so, how can I change it the next time it happens? I also think ahead to my upcoming day & either make a list or make a mental note of what I want to get accomplished compared to what I HAVE to get done throughout the day. I often listen to soft & soothing music while I am sitting there & take the time to actually have a little time to myself before I have to start getting everyone else in my household ready to go for their days as well. The dread that I used to feel about going to the playground & getting ice cream cones has now turned into an enjoyable experience for me as I am spending time that I will never get back with my kiddos. I don't want them to remember a Mother who hated her life & "having" to go do anything with them as I want them to grow up HAPPY & healthy and guess who they learn these traits from? ME!! I love you

I am so thankful that I have that attitude adjusted within my soul & now when I feel bored with my life, I try to think of things that I can do differently with them as to break up the routine. And when I get bored BC of just doing things with kids all of the time, then I try to take a time out for myself & go do something that I actually enjoy. I love to read, so I go to the bookstore or go for a long invigorating walk that allows me time to think about how far I HAVE actually come & take the time to let that "boredom" pass BC I do not ever want to go back to where I was before I went into recovery. I am telling you these things as possible things that you may consider doing in your free time after work. Make plans, such as a counseling appointment (maybe?) & keep them, despite how you feel when the time actually comes to go to it. That's something that I am really bad about & am working on myself. I make all of these plans, but then the day comes to actually go & I don't feel like going, but I force myself to just go do it as I have already commited to it & therefore, instead of just staying home & feeling bored, I actually get out & pass that time, despite whatever it is that I have done. It may not be the most exciting thing in the world, but it is better than sitting home & thinking about how bored I am & therefore leading my thoughts to "if i could only just go use this one time"- well, we all know how that would turn out & how very disappointed & angry with myself I would end up being that I wouldn't even enjoy my "high" due to the guilt that would accompany it. Yet, I do have to say that even when I am home alone now a days, my thoughts no longer go there. I do things that I want to do when I don't have the opportunity to do them when I have my children here with me as is the norm. I actually enjoy the peace & quiet to sit by myself & just think, or to watch a television show that I cannot watch while they are here due to the TV always being on Nickelodeon or some such channel. Those feelings of boredom DO still hit me from time to time, but now I have learned & retrained my mind to find positive things to do to pass that time & those thoughts. I enjoy working on things that are helping me reach my future goals, which I never even had "future goals" while using other than how I was going to obtain my next fix. I spend time working on how I can obtain the things that I want for my future & it gives me more hope than I can even describe. I look at it like, where do I want to be & what do I have to do to get there? Then, I can work towards conquering the issues that are in my way to obtain the goals that I have set for myself. I really look forward in getting to know you better & just hang in there for the time being BC it truly is going to get better if you keep on keeping on as you are! Idea

Also, one more question for you-- where are you from? It really helps to get to know each other better on here as this forum has been one of the biggest helps that I have had throughout that time period of boredom & not knowing what to do with myself, I can always come onto here to write & then that feeling leaves me since I no longer have it all bottled up inside! A good friend that used to be on here all of the time had a saying that has stuck with me throughout it all & she was absolutely right!! Wink

"A problem talked about is a problem half solved!"

So I hope that you are getting along better & that maybe some of the things that have worked for me may help you as well!! Please keep me posted!! Like a Star @ heaven

Yours in recovery,
Beth I love you

Number of posts : 10 Registration date : 2011-08-22

Hi everyone,
First off i want to say thank you for the replies and advice. I am doing okay today Beth I am going to try to answer some of your questions to the best of my ability. First off i understand your question about just being, I know that is a huge part of recovery you need to be comfortable with yourself and who you are. I dont believe I have a problem there I do not have a problem just being or sitting and reflecting. I am 37 years old I am in construction I climb communication towers (whitch was part of my problem many people in the business were into oxys a few years back) I do not have a wife or kids to be honest I dont like children and never wanted them that is a big part of why I am not married almost every relationship I was in came to an end over that issue. I do have a dog that I love very much so he is like my child one of the things in life i enjoy most is going out to the park with him and watching him have a good time. I do have to go to group therapy but I dont like it I think I should find some one on one counseling. The reason I dont like group therapy is throughout most of my addiction I have not had any of the problems most people did. I was making money hand over fist so money was never an issue i was doing 15-20 oxy 80s a day and was fine with as I could afford it. So I never found myself at quite the same lows a lot of people have honestly listening to some peoples problems I feel like i shouldnt be there I had it very easy compared to most. What made me want to seek out help was I was part of a huge circle of people caught up in the oxy habbit. I seen many many people go down hill fast I started to notice how conversations while using went from being all fun and games to how oxys have taken over and people needed a way out. I know people who died in accidents due to use people who overdosed and a couple who commited suicide due to their addiction. I knew it wasnt possible to sustain my way of life for ever. So i decided to check into a rehab it was a non traditional rehab so there were absolutly no meds allowed I had to go cold turkey while inside. When I came out I did good for a while but as I believe I mentioned I come from a place where as a kid selling drugs and stealing cars was the norm for a teenager I lived my entire life in the fast lane. So I found myself missing the lifestyle I was bored and unsatisfied with life I started using again by now oxys have been pulled off the shelves I did opanas for a while they didnt cut it so i started doing dope. Again I didnt find myself doing anything I was ashamed of to get high but I have seen and know where this goes. So i needed to do something I certainly could not afford to go away for a few months again and it didnt work the first time I know quite a few people who were sucsessful with suboxene so I decided to give it try. It truly is a miracle drug It does what it says it does it did take away the withdrawl and let me function as a normal person i do what I have to do. My real problem I guess is more of a spiritual one now I was never really interested in a normal life I thought i would be dead by now. I lived in the fast lane all my life and enjoyed it i used all kinds of drugs and enjoyed them I guess thats why I was taken a little by surprised by how opiates took my life over. I fell in love with them no other drug compares I am no longer interested in using any drugs other than opiates and that is no longer an option so I need to teach myself how to slow down and just enjoy life for what it is. For someone like me that is much easier said than done lol.
So that is where I am now trying to see life for what it is without drugs. Oh and lastly I am from Philadelphia

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