nannamom
Admin
Number of posts : 2210
Age : 66
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09
 | | Subject: Today's Thought 7/24/2011 Alone in the company of our partner Sun 24 Jul 2011, 12:30 am | |
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...alone in the company of our partner.
To be alone in the wilderness is less painful than to feel alone in the company of our partner. When we shut down in silence because we feel wounded by our partner, we slam the door on healing. We may justify emotionally abandoning our partner by telling ourselves that we do not want to be hurt again, and we may be convinced that our partner is never going to change anyway. We each have our own style of "going away" and our own way of maintaining our loneliness.
When we feel the pain of separation from each other, we need to reach back and reopen communication. We can do that by telling our partner how we disappeared and asking her or him to join us in healing the wounds. When we talk about our feelings and we are understood, we make genuine contact and we are no longer alone!
As a way to enhance your connection, tell your partner about a way that you have disappeared.
Today's Thought is a reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other
by, Merle and Mavis Fossum
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bfye
Number of posts : 695
Age : 49
Humor : There is no room in your heart for anger when you are filled with gratitude.
Registration date : 2008-11-20
| | Subject: Re: Today's Thought 7/24/2011 Alone in the company of our partner Sun 24 Jul 2011, 10:57 am | |
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I do know first hand how hard it can be to be in a relationship where I feel quite lonely alot of the time due to his work schedule, but that is not the same as if our communication has been broken down. I just think that you made some great points within your post about how we isolate ourselves for many reasons that are individual to ourselves. Depression, shame, just trying to get through a day at a time while others do not necessarily understand that theory as well as what we do as they have not personally been through it. It is still difficult for me to discuss my addiction & recovery with my "hubby" because he only understands it from his point of view. He has not walked through my shoes & I have not walked through his. I have caused him great amounts of pain in the past which have only made him angry, so it is still hard for me to go to him about my personal issues regarding addiction & recovery. I often feel if I have closed that door of communication with him because I don't feel as if he understands where I am coming from & I save that topic for this forum & for others that I have met throughout my own recovery who understands what it is like to be on this journey of recovery. Just because you quit using the drug, you are not all better now. We are definitely on our way to getting better, but it takes so much hard work & the people that are closest to me have the belief that if I am not using, then I am all better. I still have a long way to go... My mind is not healed. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RELAX ON MY OWN!! I know the tools, but making them work for me has been the battle of my life. Anyways, this is a great topic & I wish that I could take the time to elaborate more about it all, yet it still comes down to the very same thing. One day at a time for me, that's for sure. 
Thanks again!
Beth | |
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