Welcome Bulldoglover

Yes, It's Barbara Rue here full of hugs hello and I have a bull dog laying right next to me. Pete is twenty years old and been my companion for many years. We were just going to sign out for a while and go lock up the chickens and throw some hay to the horses and I caught your name as a new member. I had to stop to welcome you in and hope you will share a bit of yourself with us. If not, just look around and make your self at home. We don't bite...hard. Yours in recovery, Barbara Rue, one of the moderators...Dee will be here as quick as a bunny. Once again, welcome.

Welcome Bull Dog Lover,
Nice to meet you. My name is Dee. I don't know about being as quick as a bunny, maybe more like a slow moving train.
I see that you have already met Barbara Rue, she is our rescuer of all. It gives me great pleasure to be able to welcome you to our home. We have quite the assortment of people here from all over. Make yourself at home, when your up to it, please tell us a little about yourself. I have been on Suboxone for a little over 2 1/2 years now. Every day I am amazed at how much better I feel. No more days planned around the chasing of pills. Now I can spend my days the way I want to.
It's late so I will go for now. But I will be back in the morning.
Yours In Recovery
Dee

Thanks for the welcome. I have an appiontment the 8th of jan. and I am very nervous. Scared I guess.

Hi Bulldog.
It's Dee, will this be your first appointment?
I can understand your being nervous, if I'm not being too nosey, may I ask what it is that you were/are taking, and how long you have been taking them. Have you spoken to the doctor or anyone about what to expect when you go in for your first appointment?
Don't hesitate to ask anyone here any questions. Barbara and I are both here, as well as the other members of the forum. We will do our best to get the answers that you need.
I'm on my way out to an appointment, but will check back in here in a couple of hours.
Once again Welcome! You are on your way to a new way of life.
Yours
Dee

Bull Dog, don't be scared or feel like you are alone. Everyone here has had their first visit. I know you will have to be somewhat into withdrawal for your introduction to Suboxone. I would advise you to have someone with you if at all possible. On my first day, I arrived in my housecoat and gown. My doctor still laughs about this. There will be a lot of paperwork to fill out, I was quite shaken and had to have my girlfriend fill them out for me. After my first 8 mgs, I felt 100% better, I still had to be driven home, but I rolled the windows down and let the wind blow in my face. What a free feeling it was. I was given another 8 mg for the following morning and had to go back to the office for evaluation and was able to drive myself; I even showered,dressed myself, and put on some make up. The doctor said, "Wow, you don't look like the same woman." It was back and forth to the doctor for a while and I got stablized enough to make office visits every three weeks. I've been on subs for a little over two years and doing well. I don't crave opiates in the least and other than being tired sometimes, I feel fine. I have some other medical things I'm taking care of to lessen my pain. If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free to come here. If you're not up to it, just read along with us and you will see how this medicine has helped all of us. I'm having surgery on the 7th, so I'll be at home putting ice on my foot, but I can hobble over to the computer to see how you are doing. This will be the last time you will have to feel like you do now. Believe me, this was the best move I've made in all the years I used. We will all be in support of you and cheering your day. Yours in the struggle, Barbara

It will be my first visit.
Dee I have been taking hydrocodone bout 50 mil aday. I wont to get clean so bad . I'm very paranoid bout the visit thought they might call the law or just laugh at me. I dont know what to expect or what to do. I also abuse sleeping pills. ambein is the sleeping pill. I have to go 40 miles and have no one to take me. I gotta do something to kick this junk and im lost. I had a year one time and few weeks here an there but it is harder for me everytime. I would appreiate any advice or warnings I dont want to go to jail when I tell this Doctor what I been doing.

Barbara
Thanks for offering to check on me I hate being this old and scared of the Doctor. I have told so many lies I dont know the difference anymore lying is just so natural now I hope I feel comfortable enough with the doc to be honest.

Bull dog,
I'm sure that what you tell your doctor isn't anything that he hasn't heard before. We have all done things that we shouldn't have done. We have certainly done things that if we were in our right minds we wouldn't have done at all. What you say to your doctor is confidential, and he is not supposed to repeat it.
Has he told you anything about what to expect on the day that you go in. Or when to stop your use of the hydros?
As Barbara said we are all here for you, and will be every step of the way. Just remember to be honest with your doctor.
Any time that you have a question, ask away. We are here. Every one of us.
Yours
Dee

they have told me nothing. Just be there on the 8th. My friend goes and said it was fine. I will be ok but worried bout the drive it is bout a hour away have no one to go with me. How long before do i need to stop taking the pills?

Hello Bulldoglover~~
My name is Lisa and I am also new on this forum. I was really nervous about telling my Doctor about things like that to. I soon found out that they didn't care what I had been doing, just what I was willing to do now. I stopped taking my opiates (pills) 24 hours before I went in. I felt so much better after the appt. I have been on suboxone for about 2 1/2 yrs and have felt like a new person. Everything that I had lost, this medicine has given it back to me. I know you will be fine if you follow everything your doctor tells you. Nice meeting you, Lisa.

Happy New Year everyone Lisa.

Ive been in AA and had some time I think if I could get off this junk I could get a life back. I am willing to do whatever. I almost had kicke had four days and found an old stash thought just one make me feel a little better well yall know the rest of that story. If I can kick the pills I am planing on meetings and a counciler maybe.

Hi Bulldoglover,
I'm so happy that you've made the decision to try the Suboxone. It has helped change my whole life & given me hope again. I'd tried to quit so many times & each time had gotten worse & worse. I'd about given up, then I tried the Subs. It's truly been a miracle! I've been on them since last May & things are still getting better & better. There's been such a huge weight lifted from my shoulders & I wish the same for you!! It's really been great that your coming on & posting, sharing. There are amazing people here as you've already been meeting everyone, I'm sure that you can see that. I love coming on here & talking with these special people who understand the exact struggles that I deal with having an opiate addiction. I was taking the OCs & at the end, way too many of them. My tolerance had grown & I was taking, at least, 5 to 6 80 mg pills per day. The only reason that I mention the amount is because even taking that much, when I went to my first Suboxone appt & took that first 8 mg tab, I felt amazingly better! I think that you should have great success on the Subs as to where your tolerance is. Best of luck to you with going to this appointment & your going to be feeling so much better soon!! You'll never have to go through all that again. I love where I am today, especially when comparing it to before I was on the Subs. There are obviously still going to be struggles & temptations, but on the Subs, I've been able to work through & handle those moments. What a blessing! Temptation even called me up today & I'm proud to say that I'm still doing good, instead of giving in & hating myself tonight!
Bulldoglover, I'm soo glad that you made the decision to change to the Subs and am very happy for you! Continue to let me know how your doing & know that I'll be thinking of you! I also have my Sub appt on Jan. 8th, maybe we can compare notes.. lol
Stay positive & well- Happy New Year to you!
Talk to you soon!
Yours,
Beth

thanks Beth
Ihope I can do this. I am hoping it works for me. I told myself few days ago this has got to stop. I no i am an addict no false hood there just got to have some help. You people give me hope. I think maybe.

Bulldog,
I have posted some information about what to expect at your first appointment. I put in most of the highlights, but there is so much information available that I was not able to put it all into one post. But I did enclose the link for the web site of where you can go to read. I would suggest that you go and read up all that you can before your appointment to educate yourself.
I'm sure that you will do fine at your appointment.
Next week must be the week for appointments. Both you and our Beth have one on the 8th, and I have mine on the 6th. Oh and then Barbara has her foot surgery on the 7th.
What a way to ring in the new year. LOL
But seriously you are on your way to a new way of life. I am proud of you for making that decision. Any time you need us we will be here. I promise you that I will make it a point to be here as much as I can your first few days even if you just need to say hi I will be here.
It's getting late and I see we have a new member, so let me go and welcome them.
Yours In Recovery
Dee

HI Bulldog,
It is Dee. How are you feeling today? Let me know if you need anything. Okay.

not to well I'm in the dog house. wife i mad as a wet hen.

Hi Bull Dog Lover, how's things going? I know it's simple to say, but try to have patience. Remember you both have shared all of the pain. Your wife needs to be understood as well as you. If she didn't care, she wouldn't be mad. You say you have fell short many times; everytime has tugged at her heart too. Do you have any children? If you two can get past this next week, you'll see things get better. You'll see her smile and her security renewed. When you feel like it write what you are feeling, even if it's in a journal you can keep and see how things went from sacrifice to ceremony. I'm just writing to keep your spirits up and on track. In support of you both, Barbara

Hello everyone, I just stopped in to say hello and I hope this year is the best year yet for all.
Bulldoglover~~This year will be the best year in a while for you. You have sooo much to look forward to. Things in my family were really bad before suboxone, but after I was on it and started turning things around, my family grew to trust and love me more than ever It is such a good feeling to have respect again and a life I can be proud of and you will be the same way, just wait and see Yours Truely, Lisa

Hi Bulldog, what's up?
What did you do to make your wife so mad at you? Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we can help.
Lisa is right, this year will be the best for the two of you, you really do have so much to look forward to. Let me hear from you
Yours
Dee

She found one of my pills in the washer. I was wacthing gme in the bed she came in said here your ******* pill threw it at me and stormed off. She no's im tapering we just had that talk when i told her i was ging to the sub Doc I just dont understand. This is what happens when I get a few days something sets me off. Ive been debating rehab to get away from some of the home stress maybe it would be best for both of us.

Hi Bulldog,
Happy New Year!! Things are going to get better for you soon!! Your going to be amazed next week at this time!! I know that it's hard to keep your eye on the prize when your dealing with everyday stressers as well. That's one of the main reasons I'd never been able to completely quit when trying in the past.. I could always get through the miserable first, & even sometimes, second day, but by that point, I'd felt so bad for soo many hours, minutes & seconds, (you know how the time goes when you feel that way!!) I'd always give in & get something to get me through, help me function, as I had things that had to be done. I have three children, a 13 yr old daughter, and a 1 & 2 yr old, girl then boy. But especially a year ago when they were both little babies, I had to be able to function & I didn't know how without my pills, OCs by that point! I truly felt hopeless! I know that recovering people always say this, but honestly, somehow, "by the grace of God", I made it through those times & was introduced to the Suboxone. It has changed my entire life since the first dosage, given me my hope back! I've been taking it since May & of course, there've been hard times, but on the Subs, I've been able to mentally deal with these issues that I could never even get to in the past due to the physical withdrawl & pain. The Subs are a miracle for me, as well as many others taking it here. My days are no longer filled with anxiety about whether I have enough pills to get through or enough money to go get the pills that I needed to get through.. What a relief; a burden lifted from my shoulders! I'm not worried about getting sick later tonight or in the morning, if I could even sleep through the night. I'm not worried about "tomarrow" or my next dosage, etc, not so constantly scared. I can finally see past 3-4 hour intervals knowing that I'm not going to be sick. I feel like I am a different person now, the closest I've felt to normal since getting hooked on the opiates 15 yrs ago. I know that I tend to go on & on, just wanting to pass along some HOPE your way!! Relief is coming, my friend! Hold on, chin up. I repeated that to myself 9 million times a day at certain points.. I don't even know the last time that I've had that thought though. What a great feeling!! It's coming your way. I also wanted to ask you if you have the opportunity to get inpatient treatment in your current situation?? Is it possible for you to do that? I only ask because I really felt that I needed some type of inpatient help as I kept relapsing during outpatient, but it was nearly impossible for me to even be gone to detox for 3 days. (babies & hubby HAD to work) I also had not tried the Suboxone yet though. As I'm sure that you know by being married, it's been a struggle at times on our relationship, even now. I would've liked to been able to go into inpatient rehab to be able to concentrate solely on my recovery & not everything else in the world at the same time. It just isn't an option for me, but if you could go, I think that it would only help to make you stronger faster & be able to deal with relationship issues with solid footing. If that even makes sense? Though, I know that you'll be amazed by the Suboxone alone, I'm just throwing out ideas about what I may have done differently, still trying to gain more strength everyday!!
It's been great hearing from you, keep posting, there's so much encouragement available here from this wonderful forum! I hope you'll let us know how your appointment goes for you & how your doing in the meantime. Talk to you soon!
Best Wishes,
Beth

HI bulldog,
Wow, i guess it did hit the fan huh. Have you been able to explain to your wife that you are still tapering so that you can go to the doctor on the 8th? Have you thought about asking your wife to go with you? If she is willing to go to that first appointment then maybe she will realize that you are seriuos about this.
If you decide to go to inpatient, make sure that you find one that will do a suboxone induction. That way when you get out you will already be on them. If you go to inpatient you will have to make sure that you have a sub doctor on the outside in place that is willing to take over your medication. As you probably know most of them have waiting lists.
Inpatient has some pluses, you are required to go to group everyday. Every minute of everyday is structured.
There are pluses to each... outpatient VS. inpatient. If you decide to still go to your appointment on The 8th. Please check into some groups. The can be so helpful. You will always have us here on the forum, but you also need people close to you in your area that you can share with also.
Hang in there. Only 6 more days to go. Then you will be amazed at how different you feel. As Beth said the subs will help you so that you can handle the stress a lot better. Things won't seem so bad. Hang in there buddy, your almost there.
Please know that your in my thoughts
Dee