Feel alone

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Hi Everyone, thanks for the warm welcome. I went through induction at my doctor's office on Wednesday and today is my 5th day on suboxone. Physically I feel pretty well, but emotionally I'm filled with fear and I feel isolated. I thought that the doctor's program was going to involve therapy, support groups, etc. But apparently my doctor doesn't facilitate any of this. He just writes out prescriptions and manages medication. Now I feel kinda like I did when I was using drugs - taking my pills and being in my own world with not many people knowing what's going on with me. I attended NA many years ago but I'm hesitant now because I know many people don't consider being on sub to be sobriety. I was on another online addiction support group for several months and as soon as I said I went on sub it seemed no one responded to my posts anymore. I don't want to sound like a crybaby but I feel really alone. At the same time I feel like sub is the right path for me right now and I'm committed to getting off and staying off drugs.
Thanks for listening, Lilly

Subject: Re: Feel alone Sun 18 Oct 2009, 8:20 pm

Your not sounding like a crybaby at all..Your not even close to being alone now ..You found this site and all the people here facing the same problems . Dont feel like you cant talk to us we have walked a mile in your shoes we all know what it like to try to get the help we need and support. If you need somebody to talk to drop me line and I can will listen and try to help BTW what city are you in ? do you ind giving out that info ?? I have several posts on here about your very same problem and I'm looking for ways to help ..

Welcome to the forum and hope that in I we can help you in any way to stay in recovery

Kimbo

Subject: Re: Feel alone Sun 18 Oct 2009, 11:47 pm

Hi Lilly
This is Dee. Kimbo is so right. You are not alone. We ARE here for you. Your doctor is not doing what he is supposed to be doing. As a Provider of Suboxone, he is supposed to be able to refer you to a counselor, group and whatever else you may need in order to help you through your recovery. The more support that you have the better your chances are for a successful recovery.
Unfortunately more and more that is not what is going on with doctors. Suboxone is a great money maker for doctors and it wouldn't hurt them one bit to do what they are supposed to do. And that is to Help their patients.
I am sorry that I didn't see your post earlier. I do try to be here as much as I possibly can. I promise you that I do log on several times a day and do answer posts as soon as I see them.
How are you doing with your Suboxone? Any cravings? Is your dose holding you? What is the current dose that your doctor has you on?
I know that I ask a lot of questions, but I'd like to be able to help you.
Now get that idea out of your head that your a crybaby. You are not a crybaby. Other forums really make me angry. I know of a lot of them that spout support but when it comes down to it, as long as your taking a medication to help you manage your addiction you out in the cold. Period.
Not anymore. We care about you. I can't say that enough.
The first thing we need to do, is to get you into a counselor that you can talk to. We are here to support you and you are more than welcome to come her and post anytime that you need to. We have just started a chat session on Monday & Friday mornings at 9. Also on Tuesday & Friday evening at 7. If you would like to attend you would be more than welcome.
Please keep posting. Every post that you make is another step forward for you.
Let us know how you are.
Yours in Recovery,
Dee

BY the way... The link to the chat is: http://s105988085.onlinehome.us/tinc?key=meRXWanc&channel=212470
We also have a chat in this forum. If you wold like to chat with someone that is already online all you have to do is log in above.

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Hi Dee and Kimbo, thanks for your positive feedback. My minister visited me this morning. He knows what I'm going through and is being very supportive. I'm also lucky enough to have the support of my husband and a couple of close friends. I feel like I'm doing well on the sub so far. It's been said that after day 3 you just feel normal, but I do feel a little bit off. It's hard to explain, I just feel slightly foggy mentally. I'm currently prescribed 12 mg/day and may be going to 8mg (4mg 2x) if I still feel foggy. I don't have any cravings which is a miracle in itself. I feel that I could benefit from counseling. I also think 12 step meetings are important, but I don't know how well people will react to me being on sub.
Thanks for being here.
Lilly

Subject: Re: Feel alone Mon 19 Oct 2009, 3:05 pm

Hello Lilly,
My name is Beth & I have just read your post after I was done welcoming you to the forum. I am sorry that I haven't been here to respond to you sooner. I am currently having some personal issues & haven't been here on the forum as much as I normally am, but I don't want you to think that I am not here for you at any possible time. I am very happy to see that you have joined this precious forum & that you are posting about how your treatment is working out for you. How many days have you been on the Suboxone? From your post, I was unsure if this was your third day or if it had been longer than that since you started it, but are still feeling foggy despite having gone through those three days... In the very beginning, it is hard to determine your exact needed dosage. It is basically determined by how YOU are feeling. If you feel like the 12mgs is too high of a dosage, then you can try the 8mgs & see if that makes you feel better or worse. This is only my opinion, but I didn't quite feel "right" for about a week. I would hate to see you drop to the 8mgs & have it not be enough to cover your withdrawals and/or cravings. You mentioned that the 12mgs is covering your cravings. How are you feeling physcally? Are you having any withdrawal symptoms? I just am putting this out there because I don't want you to drop down on your dosage to only feel worse. It does take a bit of time to adjust to any new medication & since we are all different, I don't think that three days pertains to everyone. It didn't for me. I encourage you to give it a little longer at the 12mgs before going down to where you may be uncomfortable again. Can I ask, what opiates were you using & the dosage & the length of time that you had been on them? These are all factors in determining what your brain's receptors may need to be filled with by the Suboxone.
I think that it is great that your minister dropped in to check on you, as well as having the support of your family all around you. Not to mention that you have become a member here. The more support that you have, the better that you will do. I am very proud of you Lilly! Like Dee, I also recommend counseling along with the Suboxone for the most effective treatment. My counselor is like a best friend. I look forward to my appointments with her & she knows everything about me. (and even still likes me!) Feel alone Icon_wink

I hope that you will consider finding someone like this for yourself. As for meetings, that is a touchy subject with me. For some people, they say that the meetings have helped immensely. For me, that was not the case. If you enjoy the meetings & feel that you are getting something from them, then you should continue to do what is working for YOU. I would just like to add that you may not want to mention being on a maintenance medication during your meetings. That was what deterred me from going back. Often times, they do NOT consider you clean or in recovery if you are taking a medication to help you stay off the opiates. I do not understand that concept because as we all know, addicton is a disease just as high blood pressure or diabetes. If you have diabetes & use insulin to control it, are you not "clean" or not in recovery? No, you are controlling your disease, keeping it in remisson. I look at using Suboxone or Methadone the very same. You are controlling your disease. It is no longer controlling you. This is how it worked out for me. I have to see the doctor to write the scripts, but I get the most support right here from this very forum & from others who understand what it is like to walk through the very same shoes that I am in, as well as my individual counseling to learn how to live without opiates in my life. I had never learned how to cope as an adult without the "crutch" of opiates. I am learning tools to utilize in "trigger related sitautions" such as family functions in my case. It also helps me to be aware of my triggers. This is what the counseling does for me.
Anyways, I tend to ramble when I have something that I feel I need to share. I hope that it has helped you in any possible way. I also encourage you to try to stay at your current dosage of the 12mgs to see how it works out for you. You can ALWAYS drop back down to the 8mgs if your still feeling foggy or not comfortable at the 12mgs after a few more days. I just want you to be as comfortable as possible while going through this transition. Please let me hear back from you & how you are feeling. I really look forward to getting to know you better Lilly!! Feel alone Star3

Again, I am very happy to have you join our forum that I consider my second family! Feel alone Herz

God bless & please continue to keep in touch! Feel alone Star3

Yours in Recovery,
Beth Feel alone Herz

Subject: Re: Feel alone Tue 20 Oct 2009, 10:45 am

Good Morning Lilly,
If you should decide to try our the 12 step meetings, I would bet that you will find that you are not the only person there that is a Suboxone/Methadone patient. There are many patients taking Suboxone & Methadone that attend meetings, but they have learned over time not to let that fact be known. You can also look for non-traditional 12 step meetings in your area.
Like Beth, I was happy to see that your minister took the time to visit with you and that he as well as your family is supportive of you desire to enter into recovery.
In the beginning of treatment/recovery you will have your good days and you will have your bad days, but over time you will start to see the good outweigh the bad. It will be up to you to educate your family about addiction, recovery and Suboxone. Many people have a mind set that we are simply substituting one drug for another but that is not true. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
One important thing to remember is that you can do this. Recovery is possible. Look at you now. Be proud of yourself.
Yours in Recovery,
Dee

Subject: Re: Feel alone Tue 20 Oct 2009, 5:43 pm

Hello Lilly,
I was wondering how you are feeling today? Has that foggy feeling let up at all for you yet? Are you still on the 12mgs or did you decide to try to drop down to the 8mgs? If so, how is that working for you? Have you been sleeping & eating okay? I learned early on in my recovery an acronynm that has the 4 main "triggers" to wanting to use again. It is called HALT. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) If I have any thoughts of using, I try to first go through that list & see "where I am with myself"- if that makes any sense to you. I want to make sure that my body is getting it's basic needs first, then can try to find what triggered those initial thoughts. Often times, I can figure out what caused them & then I go from there. Yesterday afternoon I felt like I wanted to scream & simply just fall apart. I was very restless & agitated and I desperately wanted that feeling to go away. The way that I ended up handling it was by calling a close friend & going for a walk. I talked to her while I was rapidly walking through our allotment & just let it all out. (Thank you Cathy!) I came back to the house feeling like a much more "sane" Beth than when I had left. Then, I went with Matt (hubby) & our 2 youngest children (2 & 3 years old) to butcher a deer that his buddy had shot during bow season & we ate some fresh deer meat grilled outside on a chilly autumn evening. I wore my children out by letting them run around collecting sticks, leaves & rocks, which in turn wore me out by chasing them around through the dark night. I brought them home & got them cleaned up and we all went to bed. I actually slept pretty well & got up today to start all over. A fresh start. Today I have felt better & am so thankful for the good days that I try to make the very most of them by spending them playing with my children & trying to keep up on my housework as much as possible. Matt just came in the door & is so happy to see me up & doing well that we are going to take the kiddos to get pumpkins here shortly. So I am going to close this up for now, but I had just wanted to check in with you to see how you were doing today as well. I hope that you are having a better day & taking advantage of every good moment right now. I look forward to hearing from you again soon to know how you are getting along. Stay strong Lilly!! Feel alone Star3

Your Friend in Recovery,
Beth Feel alone Herz

Subject: Re: Feel alone Wed 21 Oct 2009, 1:36 am

I hope your doing well glad to see your getting the support you need and can get more in the coming days ..There will be good days and bad .. Im glad you have made it this far keep up the work your doing and know you have my support

Kimbo

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Wow you guys, I'm really overwhelmed by the feedback and support. I'm officially at the one week mark. I tried going down to 8mg for two days and I started having more thoughts about taking drugs. I went back up to 12mg and it makes me feel a little weird. I really can't put my finger on it. At certain times of the day I feel like I'm nodding off. Probably 10mg is my target dose right now. I only have the 8mg tablets so I'll have to do a lot of cutting and dividing. Maybe at my next dr. visit I can get the 2mg tablets.
Anyway, I'm having a hard time getting any info. on what the average dose is. I've seen people on the boards say they're at 32mg. The literature says it's meant to be taken once a day. My dr. said every 12 hours and I know others are taking doses throughout the day. I'm wondering what kind of a schedule you guys are on. Maybe it's already posted here on this site but I haven't found it yet.
Thanks everyone for your support. Blessings, Lilly

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Also, Beth, I loved your family story. Last week my husband butchered his first deer and we've enjoyed several venison dinners. I made venison chile last night. Also, my 6 y.o. daughter and I cut our pumpkins off the vine, as we've already had our first frost here in CT. We got 5 nice sugar pumkins out of our garden. These are the experiences I wasn't able to enjoy when I was caught up in my addiction. Now I'm able to feel like a real person again and for that I am extremely grateful.
Lilly

Subject: Re: Feel alone Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:29 am

Good Morning Lilly,
As far as doses go. That will depend on your body. With Suboxone I whole hardily believe that less is more. Meaning the less you take the more you benefit. You can find some helpful information about dosing on our Suboxone Assisted Treatment website under Suboxone Treatment Protocol
The stabilization phase can last anywhere from 1 to 2 months. This is can sometimes be a rough stage. Only because your body is still trying to figure out the dose that is right for you.
According to the Suboxone Treatment Protocol the optimum dose for Suboxone is 12-16mg per day. Everyone is different and nothing is concrete it all depends on you.
Most Suboxone patients take their dose once a day. A few take it spaced out throughout the day. I have found that I tend to do better in taking my medication once a day in the morning.
It is normal to begin to feel drowsy later in the day. You may want to plan an outdoor activity like taking a walk with your daughter. I'm sure that she will love the extra time spent with her mom. You can make an adventure out of it. This time of year there are still some leaves that haven't fallen off of the trees, you both may still be able to find some beautiful leaves on those walks. Not only would you be stimulating and refreshing your body but your mind as well.
The thing to remember is that addiction didn't happen over night. It will take some time for your body and mind to adjust to what is going on. If you have any doubts or questions don't hesitate to make a list and write down what comes to mind. Bring it up to your doctor.
Please keep posting. And remember that we are proud of you.
You have come a long way in a short amount of time. Take some time out of your day to pamper yourself. You deserve it.
Yours in Recovery,
Dee

Subject: Re: Feel alone Wed 21 Oct 2009, 11:02 am

Good morning Lilly!
Once again, I am wondering how you are feeling today? If things are getting more stabilized within you? Congrats on your first official opiate free week!!! Feel alone Icon_biggrin

I am so proud that you have chosen this path & are continuing to reach out to learn about your medication, as well as the path of recovery. You sound like your doing a bit better which is such a good sign. As Dee had said in her post, it does take a little while to "stabilize" & know your exact needed dosage. Right now, you know your body the best & how it feels when you take the 12mgs as compared to the 8mgs. I do agree with Dee that "less is more"- yet, don't feel rushed to drop down too quickly as you most certainly want the cravings and/or withdrawals to remain under control, especially at the beginning. I personally am still taking 16mgs per day & that keeps me stable. (no cravings or withdrawals) I also did try to drop to 8mgs recently & it wasn't working out as well as I had expected, so I went right back up to the 16mgs. I am too scared to rush to get onto a lower dosage, but then to falter would just set me back beyond words. I am proud of how far that I have come & just plain & simple, I will not risk lowering my dosage if it means risking my time off the opiates. Yet, as I get further & further into my recovery, I will continue to try to drop down. I originally started at 24mgs & got myself to 16mgs, so this is probably where I will stay for a bit before trying to drop again. And I also take my entire dosage at once which is in the morning when I wake up & I also take Zoloft at the same time, so I just take them together & am done with it for the day. At the beginning of starting it, they had me break it up throughout the day, but then a wise doctor explained to me that by taking it every morning & being done with it, just like the Zoloft or a blood pressure medication, you take it & then your done for the day. Your not constantly counting down to when you can take your next "dosage" which as he stated, helps take away the addictive behaviors of waiting for your next dose. Like while using, living for your next "fix." Does that make sense? I know that different doctors have you do it different ways, but this has been working for me for well over a year now & I plan on sticking to what works.
I was unaware that you also have young children. A 6 year old daughter- do you also have other children? If so, what ages are they? I have probably already mentioned to you that I have 3 kids. A 14 year old daughter, a 3 year old daughter & a 2 year old son. They keep me extremely busy! On one aspect, I have a teenager who thinks that she is already grown. She looks like it, but is not quite there yet mentally. Just like every teenager. She wants to go to a high school party this weekend for the very first time & although on the inside, I am screaming out No! No! NO!, I am still going to allow her to go for a while. I will be driving her & her girlfriend back & forth both ways & I do plan on showing up a little earlier than whatever time we set up just to check out the scene. I don't want to be paranoid, but I also do not want to allow her to think that she has complete freedom at this age. It's like trying to walk a tightrope. I don't want her to go around me when it comes to these type of parties, so I have to give her the chance to prove herself & pray that she will continue talking to me about thse kind of issues. I have gone over sex, drugs & alcohol a million times with her. I will probably go over them a million more times before she is graduated. She understands addiction- I talk with her very openly about what I am struggling through & why. Her biological father is a bad alcoholic (not really in the picture too much) but she understands that she has 2 parents that ARE addicts & that it gets passed down generation to generation, so I warn her of the consequences of even trying drugs or alcohol. She says that she understands, but she is only 14 (in the next couple of weeks) & there are adults who do not understand addiction, so I doubt that she REALLY understands as she states that she does, but I will be here to continue pounding it into her head. She really is a good girl & right now, I am trying to have faith in her & what I have taught her. Until she shows me otherwise, she deserves the chance.
As for the toddlers, they just keep me moving nonstop. Healthy, normal children that are into everything & anything, just learning about the world. The perfect incentive to remind me everyday why I want to remain clean. Why I HAVE to remain clean & keep my life together.
Well, I guess that I should close this up for now & change some diapers & get things moving around here. I just wanted to check in with you once again to see if your days are getting better. If not quite yet, they will be soon! You will notice how the good days start to outweigh the bad days once your dosage is stabilized.
Hope you are having a great day Lilly & I really look forward to continue hearing how you are getting along. Keep us updated.. Feel alone Herz

Your Friend in Recovery,
Beth Feel alone Herz

Subject: Re: Feel alone Wed 21 Oct 2009, 11:06 am

Sorry about the double post- I am not quite sure how in the world I did that? Odd?!? Anyways, I guess that if you miss anything the first time through, there it is again. Feel alone Icon_rolleyes

Sorry,
Beth Feel alone Herz

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Dee and Beth, thanks again for your overwhelming show of support. I guess I haven't felt like I've had an opiate free week because I know there is an opiate in suboxone. I guess I'm kinda confliced about that. But you're right, I should be celebrating breaking my drug habit rather than focusing on the fact that I'm taking something. I have an 11 year old son as well as a 6 yo daughter. I'm concerned about my son getting into drugs because there is drug/alcohol abuse on both sides of the family. Also, I first smoked pot when I was 12 so I know he's getting to that age. I've spoken to him quite a bit about drug abuse and he does know that I have had my issues with drugs. But he doesn't know my full story or that I am on sub for opiate addiction.
My level of functioning is so much higher now than it was this many days off drugs when I did it on my own. I'm very grateful for the life I have, and I really appreciate the support here on this forum.
Thanks,
Lilly

Subject: Re: Feel alone Thu 22 Oct 2009, 11:36 am

Good morning Lilly so galad your doing well ..Yes its like all the lights have come on and there are things to do and peolpe to see . For me it only keeps getting better and I hope for u 2 ..If there is any thing I can do drop me a line and I will try to help..

Kimbo

Subject: Re: Feel alone Thu 22 Oct 2009, 7:37 pm

HI Lilly,
I want to share something with you. When I first went into recovery this last time. (And I pray each day that it is the last time.) I first started my recovery as a Methadone patient. I loved it that I didn't have to worry about what I was going to do from day to day in search of what would get me through the day. But I had guilt. I felt that because I was on Methadone that I really wasn't living a sober life. Methadone is an opiate. So in my mind I was still using. Not out on the streets but still taking an opiate. Everyone kept telling me it was different but I couldn't get it through my head that it was okay. Being in recovery meant that you did not take opiates anymore.
One day a good friend who was one of the counselors of the clinic that I went to pulled me into his office and sat me down.
He asked me if I would take away someones heart medication just because of the ingredients. Or if I would ask a diabetic to stop taking their Insulin. I told him "no, of course not" but that is different. He told me that it was no different.
Addiction is a disease, it cannot be cured. But it can be managed. Some people need to take medication to help them manage their disease, and some don't. I am one of those people that take a medication to manage my addiction. Plain and simple. I don't know if I will take it for the rest of my life or not. There was a time when I would have said yes. But now I'm not sure. I can't say that anymore. No one knows how long they will take Suboxone or Methadone.
I may or I may not be a lifetime Suboxone patient. If I am that will be okay. I know that I am in recovery, that is all that matters.
With the help of Suboxone and counseling, no longer am I doing the things that I had done in the past. My life is different now. I wake up in the mornings and I am normal. I don't always feel perfect but that is what feeling normal is all about. I can be trusted and I am trusted by many people and it is a wonderful feeling to know that I can be the person that I was meant to be.
Lilly when your mind starts to tell you that you are taking an opiate, remind yourself that "It is okay." And be proud of what you have accomplished. Your new life is just beginning. Enjoy each day as it comes.
Yours in Recovery,
Dee

Subject: Re: Feel alone Fri 23 Oct 2009, 12:36 pm

Lilly good morning,
Dee hit the nail right on the head about taking Suboxone .Yes each day feels better than the last knowing that I dont have to steal lie cheat to make sure that I have my Vics . In the past I did some things like stealing and pawning my girlfriends wedding rings that were given to her by her mom taking money out a the bank account and telling her that I lost it stealing her script of pain pills letting her go down the pharmacy and find out it was me that had taken it .. Those are things a normal person wouldn't do to the person they love . Now with the Suboxone I don't have the monkey on my back . Sure I still have the normal feelings everyday but there not masked by the Vics and yes there are good days and bad ..Now instead of worrying about my habit I worry about getting things right in my life and thats the part that I love it may may not be easy but its LIFE ..I have to thank God that I felll into this thing called recovery ....The rings that I stole and pawned brought me into recovery My Dr. told me that kicking the drug habit would be easy the hard part is living life without them but Im doing it and it feels good..I am working on making peace with my self ..Watching the people around me that I hurt start to trust me again ..All that I can say with out the Suboxone I wouldn't be sitting here writing this ..Not saying that I wont have my bad days and think about going back out ..With the support of this forum and peolpe around me I can will make it in my recovery !!!

Keep up the good work in your recovery turn to people talk to them ..

Kimbo

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Hi Dee and Kimbo,
I'm really starting to feel more normal every day - and it makes me realize how not-normal I was on drugs. I thought I was functioning OK, but now my days are so totally different. I'm so much more engaged in my life. I did hit one snag. When I got my script I only got 15 pills. I didn't think much of it because I thought maybe they only dispensed them 15 at a time. Then yesterday I actually read the label and it said take 1/2 pill once a day! I called the pharmacy and told them I was supposed to take 1 1/2 pills a day - and they wouldn't hear it. They acted like I was trying to scam them for more pills. I felt like I was being treated like a common criminal. Plus I'm almost out and they said I could get 15 more on Nov. 15. Of course I put a call into my Dr.s office and I'm sure I can get it straightened out. But it was just that feeling I got with the way she was talking to me. But I guess maybe it's karma because I really did scam for pills in the past and got away with it a lot of times. So maybe this is my payback. Sorry to sound negative. Things are really going well. I don't crave drugs. And you guys give me hope and reassurance that I'm on the right path.
Thanks,
Lilly

Subject: Re: Feel alone Mon 26 Oct 2009, 8:20 am

Good Morning Lilly,
Everything will turn out okay. When you took the prescription to the pharmacy did you read it? Or are you going by what you doctor told you. If you read it and it said that you are to take 1 1/2 a day. Then you have every right to call them back up and ask them to pull the hard copy of the prescription. If you feel that you are being treated with did respect then make a complaint. I have heard a lot of people say they have been treated like cr*p at the pharmacy for being an addict.
You should be treated with dignity and respect. You
are a patient just like any other.
Try and call them today, it could have just been the person on duty. At the pharmacy that I go to I don't care much for the weekend pharmacist, but the one that works during the week is great.
Don't let this get to you. You did nothing wrong. And your right, you will be able to get it straightened out. Let us know how things go.
Yours in Recovery,
Dee

Subject: Re: Feel alone Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:40 pm

Good Morning Lilly ,
Yes things will work out .Dee as always you are right in the button about things . Yes everything will work out let us know please ..How s everything else going for you ?? For me since I have been on suboxone it feels like the lights are on and some body is home ..The problems that I face now are remembering the damages I did to others and didnt happen over night and the wounds don't heal overnight ..But they will .. Have a great day in recovery

Kimbo

Subject: Re: Feel alone Mon 26 Oct 2009, 1:32 pm

Hello Lilly, Dee & Kimbo,
Lilly, I just wanted to tell you that I completely agree with everything that Dee & Kimbo had to say. Your doctors office should call the pharmacy & get the script clarified & filled for you within the day. Have you gotten ahold of your doctors office & have they made that call yet? I have a suggestion for you if not & if your doctor is not located too far from where you live. I would go into his office personally & explain the situation and that you need it handled today. Take your bottle with you. (no scams) Show them what it says & that you need it corrected or you will not have enough of your medication to make it until your next appointment. If they tell you that the doctor is busy, explain to them that you understand & that you will wait because your recovery depends on it. Be assertive & keep your head held high- you have done nothing wrong! Throughout my own recovery, I haven't been as assertive as I am today & I can tell you that the stronger that I appear, the better that I am treated. Do not leave without it being handled. This is your recovery & your life riding is on it! Feel alone Star3

This is simply a suggestion if your doctor isn't getting it handled. For your sake, I hope that you have already gotten ahold of him & that his office has called the pharmacy to clarify the mistake. Please let me know how it works out for you Lilly! Stay strong & head up! Feel alone Herz

Sending hugs!
Love,
Beth Feel alone Herz

Number of posts : 7 Registration date : 2009-10-18

Hi Everyone,
Sorry I haven't been back in a few days. I couldn't get ahold of my doctor's office, made multiple calls and left messages. I finally spoke to someone on Tues. who never called me back. Ended up going to the doc's office on the Wed. day with the empty bottle in hand, and still didn't get the poper script for another 24 hours - when I was literally out of meds.

The whole experience really stressed me out. I'm really questioning this doctor and how he runs his practice. I mean, the whole day that no one was there they didn't even have anyone on call or a live answering service. In the meantime the Suboxone has been great for me. I really feel well for the first time in a long time. And I have no drug cravings (although I have to admit I thought about drugs during that prescription ordeal). This doctor is the only Sub doctor in my area, except for one that isn't too far but is out of state and I don't know how that affects my insurance.

So I'm kind of in a dilemma. I really want to continue this course of treatment but I have a lot of concerns about the doc. I'll be seeing him Fri. so I will discuss this with him. Any one else have these issues?
Thanks everyone,
Lilly

Subject: Re: Feel alone Mon 02 Nov 2009, 5:07 pm

Hi Lilly
I am sorry to hear that you are going through so much trouble with your provider and medication. This should not be happening to you. I'm not sure what area of your state that you are located in but I looked in the SAMSHA National Directory of Drug and Alcohol Abuse Treatment Programs for 2009. There are 23 provider listed for your state. I would be more than happy to help you i locating a provider near you if there is one. But I will need to know which City you are in.
Send me an email if you would like my help.
I would suggest that you go ahead and speak to your current provider as planned. It may take a while to get you into a new provider and there is no sense in rocking the boat if you don't have to.
There are other things that concern me about the doctor that you are seeing right now as well. One of the qualifications of being able to prescribe Suboxone for the treatment of substance abuse is that he have references available to him in order to refer you for counseling and now leaving you hanging in that department.
He should also at all times have another medical provider on call for him when he is not available.
Lilly you are doing a wonderful job in your recovery. You have had a setback but you did not let that stop you from moving forward. Be proud of yourself. You are not the person that you were a few weeks back.
Let me know what I can do to help.
Yours in Recovery,
Dee

Subject: Re: Feel alone Tue 03 Nov 2009, 3:57 pm

Hi Lilly,
How are you doing now? I hope much better. I am sorry that you had to go through that with your Provider & you had asked if anyone else has had these kind of issues & I am one of them. I probably sounded "harsh" in my previous post about going in there last week before you were out of your medication to show them how it was incorrectly written. I only sounded that way because I have gone through holiday weekends without even a call back before. I have never been assertive enough, but dealing with these doctors is changing that quality in me. The only way to make sure that you are covered is if you make sure that YOU are on top of it! That is what I have learned throughout my last 20 months of recovery. No one can help me do it. IT is up to me & to me alone. I definately urge you, as Dee has, to consider a counselor. As well as continuing to reach out on the forum, it really helps alot! I just wanted to let you know what was and what was NOT working for me throughout my first year of recovery & now rounding out to the second. I have just plain learned that YOU are NOT their primary concern & that they will get to me whenever they get to me. But if it is going to leave me short, I NOW make sure that I am handling it the week before, just because I have been burned before! I am glad that all is worked out now & am happy to hear that it has been a success for you! Day by day.
Love,
Beth Feel alone Herz

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