Having to be a caretaker

Subject: Having to be a caretaker Tue 13 Oct 2009, 4:24 pm

Today my girlfriend went in for her pre op appointment for foot surgery ..The Dr handed her a script for 50 oxys she in turn handed that to me ,Wow not even a twinge seeing that script .. 2 weeks ago I would have been figuring out how to weasel some out of the bottle for me ..The suboxone must be working .Today the script looks like just another script for her ..She going to laid up for about 4 weeks the first week with lots a pain hoping after that it gets better .She will having me do most of her recovery which means taking care of her..I don't think she even has a clue on my our disease... She says she does but wondering at the same time She keeps telling me that she will work it out on her own I have caused her so much pain and the trust issues go deep on both sides ..I just hope that while she recovers from this I can not hold any ill feeling toward her .. I feel that in some ways she hasn't taken a very active roll in my recovery and she expects me to be there for her while she dose . Could use some feed back on this .. What to say or do I know we both have been hurt on so many levels ..

Needing help an support in my recovery too...

Kimbo

Number of posts : 256 Age : 67 Registration date : 2009-01-10

Hi Kimbo, I am in sort of the same spot you are in. My boyfriend is on prescribed pain pills and they are aways in the house. He use to hide them but when I was using I would find them anyways. It was a game for me. I was stealing half his medication so he ended up running short.

After I started Suboxone we both were seening a counsler for couples counsling and we also went to group together. Those two things help us put the trust back into our relationship.

I hope everything goes well with your girlfriend's surgery. It takes time to rebuild the relationship and to rebuild trust.

Congrats for not taking those pills! You are on your way to a great recovery! Cathy

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Wed 14 Oct 2009, 6:03 pm

Kimbo
I am sorry But I am going to have to respond to you later on this one. I have been trying to respond but the forum is to acting right today. From what I understand Beth has been having the same problems.
I will talk to you later.
Dee

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Wed 14 Oct 2009, 9:42 pm

Hi Kimbo,

I said I was going to retire, but read this and had to respond. I'm in hopes you can get enough support here while you are getting yourself squared away. It sounds like you are going to have to reach deep inside and find the support you need from your own strengths. If you have a partner who isn't understanding what you are going through, there may be conflict. You are going to have to make it no matter what. You are in good hands here at the forum. You couldn't ask for better people to talk to.

Last year I had two bunions taken off my right foot and my big toe had to be broken. I made it with just Advil and ice packs. Just be careful and I'll be pulling for you.

Yours to know,
Barbara

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Wed 14 Oct 2009, 11:52 pm

I know Am thats why I keep posting here ..Talking and sharing whats going on with me and my life .. Weather she in my life or not I will make it .I have all the tools just need to start using them.. Will keep everybody posted... Just wish at times I could find somebody here late in the evening

.Thanks
Kimbo

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Thu 15 Oct 2009, 11:13 am

Hello my friends,
Kimbo when is your girlfriend having her surgery? As for someone being online late at night. That would usually be Barbara or Cathy. They are the late birds of the forum. Cathy is usually here anywhere around midnight and Barbara when ever she gets in from work. Sometimes I am here and sometimes not. It depends on who has the desktop at that time of night. myself or my son. I do have a lap top but I really can't say as I like it very much.
We are going to get you a night hobby. How 'bout it? Is there anything that you have been wanting to do but haven't done? Dean tells me that you are a computer wiz. That is something that I have been wanting to get into for so long. I have an old system that I want to try and rebuild. But don't have a clue of where to start. I can take a class but to be honest, I feel like that is all I have been doing lately. Taking classes.
I have my counseling appointment this afternoon but will be back this afternoon.
Have a good day,
Dee

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Thu 15 Oct 2009, 11:52 am

She having it tomorrow morning ..Having warts removed from here foot ouch .. Would love to help u on your PC.. This one Im using I build myself 3 yrs ago from the ground up.Nave to laugh tho since we have a a 3 hr time difference ..I was hoping to find somebody here that was west coast ..Talked to my therapist yesterday I thing I found a suboxone support group here trying to get some networking started here not just for me but for others..Like you have said were a special breed... Will talk to you later ..
Love this place Thank you

Kimbo

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Thu 15 Oct 2009, 10:55 pm

What was I or what was I not thinking? I forgot all about the time difference. It seems like all of you are right here with me when I type.
A support group in your area is a great idea, I think you would fit right in.
You have much to offer. I can see a genuine caring that you have within you. Another one of Barbara's sayings about recovery..... In order to keep it, you have to give it away. I am happy to hear that you like it here so much as we have no intention of letting you leave.
Enjoy your evening,
Dee

Good luck to your girlfriend on her surgery. Having to be a caretaker Icon_smile

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Fri 16 Oct 2009, 10:11 pm

Things went well today she now home .. Friends are dropping by to see how she did . She has noticed that taking the oxys she has troulble sleeping she says it like being awake and a sleep at the same time ..Sounds all to familiar to me LOL..Since I ws doing the vics and oxys for over 3 yrs .. Also had my Dr. cal to check up on me today told him I was thinking about a support group here in Portland . My therapist put me in contact with A Gentleman that is trying to get one started .. Talked to him about it also ask him about getting funded through the drug company and the federal grants ..He has a couple of ideas ..Also told him about this site also and he looked at it and was very impressed with all that is here to offer to people ..Am trying to get everything lined up for the group and the Drs, to have this site and it resources available to everyone that needs it to help in there recovery..

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:57 pm

Kimbo
Glad to hear that your girlfriend is at home and doing well. It was a good idea to have your doctor give you a call.
You are one of the lucky ones. When I say that I am talking about your provider. On our Medical Assisted Treatment of America Website we have a section, "Rate your program" it is for visitors to leave comments about their Methadone clinics. I have been thinking a lot about putting something similar on our Suboxone Assisted treatment website. I wold like to name is something like "Honorable Mention" A place where I can list such as yours and the one I have. The ones that really care about their patients. There are so many of them out there that simply don't care. They stereo type the addict and have no idea of what it is like to actually support us in our recovery.
But for the ones that do care, the deserve an Honorable Mention. Don't you think?
It's good to see you getting involved such as you are. You Are a great source of support and have a lot to give.
Get yourself some rest, & enjoy your weekend.
Dee

Subject: Re: Having to be a caretaker Sat 17 Oct 2009, 9:58 pm

Yes they do ..So now Im going to take your idea of that about the Drs clinics and whom ever ..Over the next few days I will put ideas out on here hope to hear back from people..
Have a great weekend..

Thanks again
Kimbo