 | Suboxone: The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Gain knowledge and share experiences with Suboxone, to obtain support through coming together with one bond in common-To help, support and educate others.
|
| | | My Thoughts and Prayers |  |
| | | Author | Message |
|---|
northerngirl62
Number of posts : 9
Age : 62
Humor : great sense of humor
Registration date : 2009-10-08
| | Subject: My Thoughts and Prayers Fri 09 Oct 2009, 1:03 am | |
| I just wanted to say good night...this is a wonderful web site and I am looking forward to spending time here everyday. A thought of mine.... "The light at the end of the tunnel may seem miles and miles away to me but I finally found the road...and the travel I have to do on this road are the crossroads of who I will become...stopping along the way to build friendships, gain knowledge on who I was and why, and to become a healthier, happier, person." by Michelle for "The Right To Live & Love Again" goodnight my new found friends...may you have peaceful dreams, and wake to a bright day.  | |
| | | | bfye
Number of posts : 695
Age : 48
Humor : There is no room in your heart for anger when you are filled with gratitude.
Registration date : 2008-11-20
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Fri 09 Oct 2009, 10:01 am | |
|  HI Michelle, Good morning to you! I wanted to thank you for your responses & words of wisdom that you have shared with all of us who need it. I really enjoyed your "The Right to Live & Love Again" passage that you placed into your post. I hope that there will be more to come, as that was very well written. You have found the proper road to get you to where you want to be. To where we all want to be, as we are all still on this journey.. And friendships are made here every single day, as I look forward to becoming your friend as well. By you just being here opens up the door for you & myself & anyone else to find those friendships. They are here, I am witness to this personally, as I have met my very best friends here. I look forward to continue to getting to know you better as well. I am so glad that you have made the decisions that you have recently made, the changes you are making are the proper choices, but it sounds as if you already know this because of your sister! Thank God she walked you through the process & now here you are, on your way. Tell her thanks from me too! As well as your daughter! We are so happy that you have made it here!!  Please continue to vent your feelings & share. You'll be surprised at how much just talking about an issue can help to resolve it. As Barbara has once told me oh so long ago that "a problem talked about is a probem half solved!" She was exactly on the money, honey!  Don't carry all of that burden on your shoulders alone- that's why we are here, to help you carry your baggage or throw away what you no longer need. I am always here if you need me, as are the other special members of this forum. Dee, Barbara, Cathy, as well as so many others that will step up to the plate when you need any sort of help. As well as the fact that you will have the opportunity to be able to help others by what you have gained. A perfect start would be your other sister. "Keep on keeping on..."  Have her come check this place out as well. She needs reasoning to have the ability to stop. By you showing her that you could indeed do it, as well as your other sis that helped you get on the right path, maybe the two of you could also talk to her. Let her know that she is capable of exactly what we are doing & accomplishing. I also ask a favor of you, would you please let your sisters know about this forum as well? (if it doesn't interfere with what you have to speak about) I just know that there is success in numbers. I could have never done this alone. I cherish this place & the special members here. It's like a second home to me. And everyone on here is full of love, support, encouragement & friendship. We all know what it's like to walk in those shoes, which really helps you not feel so alone any longer. Again, I am so glad that you have made it here Michelle & I really look forward to getting to know you better. I hope to hear from you again soon! Love your friend in recovery, Great job Michelle!  Beth  | |
| | | | nannamom
Admin
Number of posts : 2210
Age : 66
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09
| | | | | northerngirl62
Number of posts : 9
Age : 62
Humor : great sense of humor
Registration date : 2009-10-08
| | | | | nannamom
Admin
Number of posts : 2210
Age : 66
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Mon 12 Oct 2009, 11:50 am | |
|  Northerngirl
Your words have touched my heart. Reaching out is probably one of the hardest things to do while in recovery. You are right though. Your recovery has to take first and the rest second.
I do know what you mean about the reading. When I first discovered the websites, I read non stop myself. And there are some days that I still do. Deborah has posted so much helpful information, that I'm sure it will take me years to get though it all as there are literally thousands of pages on both websites.
I am proud of you for your determination to get into shape. I too walk, but not as much as I should. I am glad to hear that it may be a possibility for you to get onto the Patient Assistance Program with your doctor. He should be allowed three patients if he has 100 patients taking Suboxone. Once on the program you are allowed to be on it for up to one year. Your sister may be one of your triggers, talk to her of your concerns about her health. It may be a combination of medication that is causing her to fall asleep or it may be a medical reason. Encourage her to talk to her doctor. Let her know that you are there for her just as she has been for you. This is a opportunity for the two of you to get back that bond of sisterhood. My sister is the person who led me into recovery by telling me about Methadone.
I stayed on Methadone until I switched over to Suboxone 3 1/2 years ago.
We have all hurt people in our pasts, but we have to learn to forgive ourselves for what we have done. We can't let it keep us from moving forward. As much as it may hurt now, in time your family will see that you are a different person that before. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
I want to encourage you to post as much as possible. One of our moderators has a saying that she uses and has passed down to the rest of us. It is "A problem talked about, is a problem half solved" And she is right. It may not solve your problems immediately but getting it out into the open can help to make you feel better. A lot better than holding it in. Counseling is also a wonderful tool in recovery. Suboxone can take care of the physical aspects of addiction but counseling can help with the emotional baggage and help you to sort out part of what led you here to begin with. I never though much about counseling until the last few months. I had tried it in the past but always ended up with counselors that weren't willing to listen to what I had to say. Only what they wanted to say to me. I even had one counselor tell me that I was the aggressive person and that my husband was the passive one. Knowing that he was abusing me when ever he had the chance. Go figure.I have been fortunate to find a wonderful counselor that I new see once a week. And that has made all of the difference in the world. I am learning that I am not the person I thought I was. Please keep posting. We are here for you.Yours in recovery,Dee | |
| | | | northerngirl62
Number of posts : 9
Age : 62
Humor : great sense of humor
Registration date : 2009-10-08
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Mon 12 Oct 2009, 11:36 pm | |
| I just love talking to you Dee, you always make me feel better...and your words encourage me. Dee, I am really starting to feel good. Not only inside but out! I have more energy...I feel like my mind is clearer to deal the everyday happenings in my life. I do have those moments...but for the most part I have been able to talk to myself and handle it without thoughts of taken a darn pill! Others are even noticing the difference in me. I had a girl that use to work with me...she hasn't seen me in about 2 months...she came into where I work today and she said "Wow you look great, what are you doing?" and "Your hair looks so long and pretty"....I haven't heard compliments out of anyone in months! The only thing I have changed is #1 I don't take vicodin/mophine/or whatever I can get my hands on or alcohol anymore!! and #2 I am walking everyday. #3 I wake up without the worries that I use to wake up with every day of my life. I felt 10 feet tall and bullet proof after she said that...it totally made my day. Dee, do you have any kids? My kids have been very supportive. They all knew I had a problem with drugs...I don't think they knew to what level it was. I have talked to all 4 of them since going to the doctor and they are glad that I am seeking help. I was thinking about going to a counselor but I don't know if I am ready for that step yet. I feel very comfortable talking on the two forums I belong too...so for now I am going to focus on that...is that the right thihg to do? Well I have to get up early tomorrow...we actually got snow today...it didn't stick...I am not looking forward to the bad roads...the snow I love. I will talk to you soon...thanks for talking....it sure helps. Sincerely, Michelle | |
| | | | nannamom
Admin
Number of posts : 2210
Age : 66
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09
| | | | | kimbo
Number of posts : 44
Age : 68
Humor : Strange but there
Registration date : 2009-09-30
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:25 pm | |
| Yes this forum is a godsend to us we have found a place to be safe from the outside world. A place where we can share the good the bad the ugly and not be judged. I so glad that I found this site and all it has to offer ..It has got me thinking about a lot of things .
I live in Portland so I wonder if if there is a group for suboxone users here..If there is not how to start one .Also how to get more info out to the people here in this city and surrounding areas..AS Dee as said we are a courageous lot ..As for me part of my recovery shall be to use part of the time that I was out hurting others to helping others ,,giving back .. Any ideas from anybody here would be of help to me..
Thank you again to all of you
Kimbo | |
| | | | bfye
Number of posts : 695
Age : 48
Humor : There is no room in your heart for anger when you are filled with gratitude.
Registration date : 2008-11-20
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Wed 14 Oct 2009, 7:39 pm | |
|  Kimbo,You have made some great points about recovery & its true that you get what you give. It helps me to remain in my recovery to see others who are where I was & to be able to reach out & help them make changes to better their own lives. Even when I am in the worst sort of spirits, it always makes me so happy to see another member that has joined us on our journey. And as a newcomer, its hard to just open up & spill the very worst things that you have done in your life to others that you don't even know, but once you actually do, how refreshing & how lightened I felt when I took my next few steps. It made me want to share more, to know more, to open up & allow people to know that I was no longer alone with this horrific disease of addiction. We have all done things that we don't want to admit to ourselves, but to take the lumps for your mistakes & learn from them. You wouldn't be who you are today if it were not for making these necessary changes. It is so sad how many people suffer in silence because they believe that they are a "bad" person because of the actions that happened due to using. That is not who you are defined by unless you do not make those changes. The definition "addict" flies out the window & in comes "recovery" in which lies hope & a future. While using your only future is how to get your next "dosage"- whereas now you no longer have that worry of how, where, how much, what time, is he coming?!?! A huge relief is instantaneously lifted from your shoulders & soul! Then comes the time to repair what you have torn apart. It takes time to rebuild trust & communication with all the people that we have wronged, especially when we are married or in a serious relationship. How many times did we lie to that person that we love? How many times will it take before they walk out the door? And you know that it's not because of what we wanted to do, which makes the self loathing even deeper. We have to re-prove ourselves, especially to ourselves & our loved ones. Yet, this can be done & is done every single day. By living each day without regrets is the only way to make that foundation strong again. Then, after time & after an accumulation of days of living without regrets, we begin to rebuild our own sense of self esteem & self forgiveness, thus turning the tables on whether or not our loved ones can or cannot forgive our actions because we have now forgiven ourselves. Kimbo, its easy for someone to say that they forgive you, but it is all in their actions & if you are now treated with the respect that you do deserve for all of your hard work. I notice small things that still bother me & know that it wouldn't be happening if I hadn't done what I had done to create this, but I try to just keep plugging along. If you get your head through, your "butt" will follow. We do have to be proud over small accomplishments because everything does not get fixed overnight.I would like to commend you for joining this forum & opening up, sharing & hopefully getting something back from it. I know that is what it has done for me as well as many other special members. You learn from others that have been in your shoes, just as I do from the friendships that I have made here. I am so happy that you have joined & are participating in the discussions & throwing out ideas & what has or has not worked for you. You never know who you are going to inspire to want to do the very same things that you did to get where you are now. Recovery, my dear friend! Thank you for your support & the friendships & welcomes that you are inspiring new members with by just taking the time to respond to their needs. I have so much faith in your recovery due to your determination & true desire to stop living that lifestyle. I say "Kudos to you Kimbo! and Thank you!"Your Friend in Recovery,Beth | |
| | | | Barbara Rue
Number of posts : 851
Age : 80
Humor : You can't keep it unless you give it away
Registration date : 2008-11-08
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Wed 28 Oct 2009, 11:24 pm | |
| Hi Michelle
Sounds like you have found you way through the mire and some rays of light are shining in. Kudos to you. I'm Barbara and here to go to Hades and back for you as has been done for me. I'm in prayer your prayers will be answered swiftly and in ways you have never experienced. Each day I realize in my mind things are a little easier and nicer. Welcome to our family. As we grow, we become stronger.
Kimbo, I have gone down to the emergency rooms of the hospitals here and been able to talk to the addicts who come in next to death and I planted words of hope and hope they will really hear them one day. On a full moon is a good time. Give what has been given to you and more will be revealed to you. Just walk the good walk and others will follow as they see the light in your life and in your eyes. Work hard to better yourself for we are only as good for other people as we are for ourselves. You are on the right road and the right place to have a life you have only seen from afar. I know because I have been there. I admire how you have gotten involved and welcome you to continue. Thank you for sharing yourself. I'd love to hear your story and more about you. I should do the same.
Yours in the struggle,
Barbara | |
| | | | northerngirl62
Number of posts : 9
Age : 62
Humor : great sense of humor
Registration date : 2009-10-08
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Fri 30 Oct 2009, 11:23 pm | |
| Hi everyone...just wanted to check in and say hello and I hope everyone is doing well. I have been feeling good...better than I have felt in years. I am so glad that when I am feeling lonely that I can come here and read...I find strength here...and that means the world to me. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend...God Bless...p.s. it will be one month of treatment on Nov. 3rd...  | |
| | | | nannamom
Admin
Number of posts : 2210
Age : 66
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09
| | | | | bfye
Number of posts : 695
Age : 48
Humor : There is no room in your heart for anger when you are filled with gratitude.
Registration date : 2008-11-20
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers Sun 01 Nov 2009, 3:00 pm | |
|  Hello NorthernGirl,It's me Beth & I also just wanted to jump in & also congratulate you on your one month milestone. That is exactly what it is, a series of stepping stones, which turn into longer & longer lengths away from the life that you used to be living. You are NO longer that same person. You have chosen recovery & have turned your back & walked away from THAT person. That one that you totally despised & wanted to change more than anything. For now one entire month, you have done just that!! I just wanted to let you know that I am very happy for you, as well as proud for you!! Have pride in yourself for these accomplishments!! Thank you for sharing it with us, as we know how very hard those first months really are. Not so much with the physical part of it, but the mental part of, okay, what do I do now? I really do hope that you will continue to come onto here & post & share with us how things are really going for you. Again, congrats & hope to hear back from you soon NorthernGirl!!Love,Beth | |
| | | | Sponsored content
| | Subject: Re: My Thoughts and Prayers | |
| |
| | | | | | My Thoughts and Prayers | |
|
Similar topics | |
|
| | Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| |
|
Hi Dee...feels like I have been reading non-stop for the past 5 days...and you know...reading is something that I never really got into that much...I would get bored with it and go on to something else...there are a handful of things that I have noticed different about me the past 5 days...I seem so focused...like someone turned on the lights because I had them on dim! I did go and sign up for the prescription card you were telling me about...I am going to take what I believe to be the paperwork with me to my doctor on Tuesday to see if he can add another person...I think the nurse told me he had 2 patients on the program...but I am not sure how many patients he actually has. I am hoping I can find a way to save on the costs because I do know that my budget cannot cover the medicine for long...without slipping on other obligations. I consider this to be an obligation also...an obligation that will save my life so I will find a way...as the saying goes...where there is a will...there is a way! As I had mentioned my daughter helped me with the initial cost and I know that she would continue to help me if there were no other way...she likes having her mommy back to reality! I have been a little emotional today...can't really put my finger on what it is...have been thinking about the last few years and some of the choices I have made being messed up on pills...and it makes me wonder about so many things that I did...some that I know I wouldn't have done in the right state of mind. I feel like I want to get them off my chest but I don't want to bore anyone to tears. I really need to be thankful for some of my close friends and family...and I hurt them all in one way or another...not intentionally, things were out of control, and I am feeling really bad about one particular thing that I did...and I want to make it better but I can't...I will have to regain the trust I lost first and hopefully that person will see that I do love him very much. I have been doing so well on the Suboxone. I am so glad my sister stood tough and made me go see the doctor...that was one of the kindness acts that anyone has shown me in years. I know that she has had a hard time with her treatment. She is doing excellent on the Suboxone but she is taking other medicines for other things as well. She started to sleep walk recently and she has never done that before. She can fall to sleep just about anywhere and I wonder if the combination of medicines she is on is causing this to happen. I know I should be more focused on myself right now but I worry about her...I just thought about this but she very well may be one of my triggers...when she is stressed, I feel stressed also. Anyway...the things I have discovered about myself these past few days are mind boggling (I think I spelled that right). I have stuck to my walking 2 miles every day...and although my legs are feeling it...I am proud of myself for sticking it out...it gives me energy. I am very VERY determined to get my mind and body back into shape...I am determined to continue to educate myself on this disease and help anyone I can with my own experiences. Seriously, I have not talked from my heart in such a long time...and boy, does it feel good. I appreciated your reaching out and touching my heart with your kind words...your helpfulness...and I do feel at home. Well, my eyes are telling me to go to bed...so I better listen. Good night Dee and thank you again...your wonderful. 
