Welcome Okigirl

Subject: Welcome Okigirl Thu 08 Oct 2009, 1:11 pm

Hello Okigirl,
I saw your post under some other topic & I was going to respond to you right back there, but I wanted to welcome you properly & so you could find it again. I know the forum is a bit confusing at first, but you will learn it quickly. Especially the more that you are around. (meaning stick around girl!)
My name is Beth & I have just recently become one of the Moderators here on the forum along with Dee & Barbara. They are wonderful women who are very educated on the topic of addiction & recovery! Are you also in recovery? Your post confused me a little bit, I guess. Are you currently on Suboxone or Methadone or thinking of starting either one of them? I am currently a Suboxone patient. I have been on it since May of 2008. (around a year & a half) And that is exactly the same time that I have been in recovery. I had tried & tried to stop using on my own soo many times that I was to the point of hopelessness & felt helpless. I felt like I had used for so long that I was never going to be able to quit. This really was my last ditch effort. I have never been so thankful for another appointment in my life. (other than with another Suboxone Provider!)
What is it that you & your husband are going through right now that has you upset? Do you also have children? Is he not very understanding of your addiction or is it money issues or what is going on? I can tell you that I have mucho experience in this area- a not so understanding husband & a full time job as a homemaker, with having 2 toddlers, as well as a teenager & the time that I NEED to put into my recovery. I would love for us (hubby & I) to trade places for a week or so & see how he's handling it all at the end of that week. It's not as easy as it sounds & even less so when you are feeling bad. All he can see is the black & white & that we need more money coming into this household. Therefore, meaning that I need to have an outside job, paid employment as well as the rest of what I am already doing. It's not like when I go to work, he takes over on the home duties, as is expected of me while he is working. I'm sorry to go on & on about my own situations, I'm simply saying that I can definately relate to relationship issues while in recovery. I got used to being the scapegoat while I was using because I already felt so guilty & ashamed as it was that I felt like I deserved it. But now, after being off of the opiates for this long & seeing (and hearing) the way that I am talked to at times is completely UNacceptable to me. Are you also facing these issues? How are you handling it? Cause I'm not doing so great with it all & would love to learn how to just be able to move past it. (without having to divide up my family! hopefully!?!)
I hope that you will see this post & reply to let me understand what you are saying a little more clearly. I would love to hear more about you & how you are doing & where you are in your addiction or recovery. Let us get to know you better!
In hopes of hearing from you again soon.
Your Friend in the Struggle,
Beth