Few Tools to Develop Self-esteemFigure out what your problem is. Realize your problem isn’t who you are, it’s what you have used to protect your physical and emotional well being. It’s hiding who you are: a beautiful human being, a wonderful source of awareness, knowledge, creativity, love and joy. If you practice self-esteem based on the faith that this is who you really are, then your problem will dissolve.
Decide what you can and can’t control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control.
Accept responsibility. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness, and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Begin your day with the words "I am responsible."
Make anxiety your ally. Write down your worries for 30 days. Nagging concerns that loom so large in your imagination lose their power on paper.
Don’t accept messages that damage your own self-esteem. It is much easier to improve or change your behavior when you believe you are lovable and capable.
Be aware of the different messages that you hear in your head and remember to turn up the volume on the messages that contribute to your positive self-esteem and to turn down the volume on any message that encourages you to think negatively about your worth or ability.
The moment you hear a critical remark, ask yourself, "What’s on this person’s screen?" Assume that all critical remarks arise from some shortcoming. Remember that people can only criticize what’s on their screen and that their screens are not reliable. It’s very unlikely that any criticism is based on an accurate perception of you. It’s much more likely that the critic is reacting to emotions, memories, and behavior patterns that have almost nothing to do with you. Thinking poorly about yourself because of such critics is a mistake. When someone criticizes you do and say the following: Smile and say to yourself, "Boy, I wonder what’s on their screen to make them so critical of me?"
Remember it’s about them not about you. Remember that all criticism shares one characteristic: it is unwelcome. You didn’t invite people to dump the distorted contents of their screen on you. You may feel that you owe some critics a response,
but you never owe a critic your self-esteem.
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small success can bring big feeling of competence. Small steps lead to more steps. Pat your self on the back every time you make a small success. Every step counts. Take one step at a time in a positive direction, this is the practice of self-esteem.
This is only a partial posting of the article on how to build your self Esteem. The full article was extremely long and I was afraid that if I tried to post the whole thing it wouldn't fit into the section. For those of you who would like to read the full article you may click here
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I hope that this will help you to improve the way you feel about yourselves.
Enjoy the day and smile often.
Dee
Posted 08/06/09
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