Hi I'm a addict

Hi! Sorry i didn't share info about me. I have been addicted to pain pills for about 2 yrs. When i started to have to take 8-10 at a time thats when i knew i needed help I started looking through my insc. book and called all the doctors in my area to see who treated with suboxone as a outpatient. I found a great Dr. ihave been on subs for about 3months. it is a good feeling not to have to think about how to get my next script what new Dr. to go to i was seeing 3 different ones at one point just to get my percocet Oh my God i don't even know that person i was then, all i cared about was my pills not my husband not my kids just me. I also attend NA meetings and have really found that it has also helped. I'm finally getting my life back!! Thanks for your support

Hi pjohn,
It's good to hear from you. Don't worry about not sharing anything about yourself. It is perfectly understandable. It takes time to feel comfortable about talking to new people and especially sharing about addiction. It is a hard thing to admit that we can become addicted to the things that are supposed to help us in the beginning. I first started taking pain pills to experiment when I was a teenager. But as time went by I learned that pills would make me feel better for just about anything. In 1996 I had to have back surgery, then I had another one in Feb. 1997 and another in July 1997. I was put on pain pills during my recovery, I was in constant pain and before too long the pills that I was taking weren't working anymore, so my doctor put me on something stronger. That was the beginning of a true love with oxycontin. You can guess what happend from there. Quickly I progressed onto using heroin and then both together. It is a miracle that I am here today.
But I am here. And I like you I thank god for suboxone.
Just remember that we are here for you. If you want to talk or need to jsut say hi. We're her.
Welcome,
nannamom

Hi Pjohn,
Thanks for sharing what your going through. As Nannamom pointed out, it is hard to discuss our addiction with others. There is so much judgment that goes with addiction & we're already hurting, it's not easy to talk about. I just wanted to let you know that it's NOT like that here. There is no judgment, we've all been in the same place. These people truly care & want to know how you are doing. I've found this site within the last couple of weeks & feel like it helps me to talk to others who can truly understand the feelings that I am having. From guilt to sleep issues, family & forgiveness. It's also great to talk with people who are making it and doing well after going through such struggles. It gives me hope & a fresh perspective!! By the way, I am BFye & I have been on Suboxone since this past May. It's been a "miracle drug" for me. I hope you are having the same success. I'd love to hear how it's going for you.
Keep in touch,
BFye

Beth, you don't know how good it does my heart to see a young person get it right. I wish we can save you of years of torture, the long, long road of one an one only. Be blessed and bless others with you recovery. Everything you want out of life will come if you can wait it out. Glad you are sharing with us. Good night and sleep will come. Yours in the struggle, Barbara Rue

Thank you Barbara!!
I do feel fortunate that I've been able to get ahold of it right now, but it has taken years of pain to get to this point. That doesn't seem to matter as much these days though. I am starting to feel better & stronger each day. It's easier to put the past in the past & I am finally able to see a future. I really enjoy & appreciate this forum. I feel lucky to have come across you, Dee, Deborah, etc. I've had trouble with my internet the last few days (snow, ice & wind- something messed up the wires) Anyways, I really missed not being able to get on here with you ladies!! This week has been challenging for me. As I've mentioned before, my husband is hunting, the babies are sick (just runny noses, cough, colds) They just don't feel well. My oldest daughter is 13- she has 2 neighbor girls (sisters) staying the week with us because their parents are out of town. I did agree to it & they really are good girls, I don't mind them being here. I've been extremely busy trying to keep up with everyone. I'm feeling proud of myself today though. This may sound ridiculous, but this week is a trigger for me. It's normal that he goes hunting & as soon as he pulls out of the driveway, I'd go hook up. Because then I didn't have anyone "watching" me & I didn't have to try to "act normal" so I could just go overboard... which is just plain stupidness because I am the one home with the kids. Back to the present, though. I'm proud of myself this year because he's coming home tonight & I haven't used or done anything that I need to feel ashamed of. My days are finally starting to feel normal again, without opiates. I'd trained my brain that we needed them to function, so we did. Now, I know better & I'm getting through the days on less & less Suboxone. I feel happy with where I am today. I honestly didn't think I'd ever make it back to this point, God willing, he's making it even better!
Thank you.
Your Friend,
BFye

BFye
Iam so proud of you!!!
Tonight when your hubby comes home, and says how were things while I was gone. You can honestly tell him what went on and smile about it. What a joy to have the realease of the pressures of lying. Life gets better and better every day, yes I know that there are still some bumps in the road that need to be worked out, but now you have less bumps with each passing day.
Kudos to you
Dee

Hi Dee,
Thank you girl!! It is a wonderful feeling to not feel guilty or having to lie about what I'd done while he was away. How much money I'd wasted. It does feel so great, super, in fact. He is proud of me & finally I am becoming proud of myself. I know that there are still many issues to deal with, more bumps in the road, but I feel like I'm gaining the confidence to be able to handle them. Hopefully... One at a time..
Thank you for your support Dee!! I'm so glad to have met you.
Love Your Friend,
BFye

BFye,
Offering you the support that you need helps me more than you could ever know. I am only trying to give away what I have received. I have received a lot of joy in helping you.
Hold your head up and smile. Walk with a little more bounce in your step. Your on your way m'lady
hugs to you
Dee

Good morning Dee!!
I may sound crazy trying to explain this, but we already know that I'm crazy, so I'm going to try anyways. It's so funny to me. The days are getting so much better. I look forward to getting up in the morning now. I love getting up, getting my coffee, getting the kids going, checking this forum. I love being able to come on here & actually talk with people who understand me & vice versa. I love you guys!! I also enjoy listening to music as I read through here. I always put on this favorite CD of mine. It's called "Enya- Paint the Sky With Stars" It's very relaxing, soothing.. Have you ever heard of it?? Definately worth checking out..
I want you to know that I appreciate your support, more than I can put into words. I'm glad that you feel that it helps you also. I've always hated discussing this issue with anyone, feeling like I'm laying my burden on them. This site doesn't make me feel like that. I feel understood & that feels good! (Told you I was going to sound crazy..haha)
Dee, I'm smiling lately & it feels great!! I do feel that I have some bounce back in my step!! I know that things are improving & I'm so thankful. I know that I still have to deal with those bumps in the road, but they just don't seem nearly so overwhelming!! I thank you, my friend.
I hope you are well. If there is anything I can do for you, please just say the word! I look forward to hearing from you & knowing how your feeling today.
Talk to you soon.
Love,
BFye

Hi Bfye,
It sounds to me like you have a great plan of action. Today has been a good day for me, but I will admit that I forgot about an appointment that I made 4 months ago, but my other half reminded me of it so I was okay.
I guess I'm a little nervous though, tonight is the radio program that Deborah posted about. I have never done anything like this before. I'm glad that Deborah and Dean will be there. i'm sure it will be okay though. Will you be listening? It is at 7:00 tonight on the internet radio the link is:

http://www.love860.com/ I hope that you will tune in. The phone number to the station if you need it is: 404-355-8699
Have to run for now.
hugs to you
Dee

Hey Dee,
Relax, deep breath. You'll do great, as always. I told you from one of the first times talking to you that you are made to do this. I felt comfortable with you instantly. I know that you guys will all be great on the radio tonight!! I do plan on listening. Hopefully, that'll work out. That's usually dinner time around here, then baths, stories, bedtime, etc. But, I'm going to go get their baths done now. Maybe I can switch up the order a little bit. I'd really like to be able to hear it. Also, when I first found this site & called in, I spoke with Dean Verdeen & I'd really like to be able to thank him. He spoke to me for about 45 minutes. His cell phone even went dead in the middle of our call & he found another phone to call me back from. I found that to be incredibly thoughtful!! Anyways, I plan on tuning in this evening to hear the news.. and to possibly be able to thank Dean personally.
Best of luck to you sweetie!
Deep breaths girl-
Love,
BFye