Welcome, Samigirl56!

Thank you for the warm welcome. I been searching for a board like this for a while now. Other addiction boards make me feel bad about myself because I am on suboxone (since 08-14-08.) Some say I am not really in recovery because I am in a suboxone program. But Lords knows I did try to recover without drug therapy. I would just relapse after a couple of weeks to a couple of months. The Sub. program saved my life. I hope I get a chance to talk to others on this board. I hope everybody has a great weekend.

Hi Samgirl56,
This is Dee.
I am so happy that you have made it to us. I do know what you mean by other forums looking down on you because of your use of medication to control your addiction. I have been a member of many forums and I also got the same reaction. I remember one forum, all was well until one day, I posted about how good I felt being on Suboxone, well you would have thought I went out and killed someone. I was told " Now that you have gotten rid of your other addictions, let us see if we can get you off of your "one" addiction, meaning the "one" in Subox"one". I was so angry. Here I had been there helping and talking to other people encouraging them, and to be told that I had to get rid of my suboxone in order to really be in recovery. I have never been back.
I have learned that there are a lot of ignorant people in this world when it comes to addiction. All we can do is to try and educate people so that they realize that there is help. And that we are suffering from a disease and not a mental weakness.

If you need any help or have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. We are here to help each other. You are a member of our family now, and I promise that no one will ever look down on you, or ridicule you for who you are. Welcome home.
Yours In Recovery
Dee

Hi Samigirl, It's Barbara and I'm here for you too. We understand if there was any other way to stay clean we would all be doing it. You was sent in our direction for a reason and I hope you stay with us. There are plenty of people who use Suboxone and taper off and go on to a normal life. It depends on how much damage needs to heal and everybody is different.

We will NEVER look down on you or judge you. We all care about each other and we herd together. You'll be hearing from some of our other wonderful people on here.

I know this is short, but I've had surgery and I need to lay down in a bit after I've answered some of our other people. You take care and stay away from the haters. Their heart is not in the right place and yours is. Yours in the struggle, Barbara

Thanks for the support Dee and Barbara. I was told by my Doc. I would be on suboxone for along time and that is alright with me. I am just thankful that I feel some what normal again. It has been years of hydrocodone, morphine and o.c. use. Has anybody had any problems going to NA meetings? My Doc wants me to go to these meetings but I am afraid to open up about my addiction and the fact that I am on Suboxone. Dee, I am so sorry that those people on that board did that to you. Maybe people are just jeolous because we can take something to help us and it really works. Barbara, Thanks for writing to me and giving hope and encourgment even though you were not feeling well. Get better soon. Cathy

Hello Samigirl56!

Welcome to you Cathy! I am so glad that you have found this forum! It seems like you weren't getting what you needed out of recovery from that last place.. As I was reading your post, it angered me, as it always does, when I hear "ignorant" people saying that taking Suboxone is replacing one addiction for another. I have also experienced this discrimination at 12-Step meetings, AA & NA alike. I find that to be especially frustrating, as they are standing there smoking their 9th ciggy & dumping down the cups of joe! They are also the first ones to tell you that addiction is a disease (which I agree with), but if they have heart disease or diabetes, they'd be taking medication for that.. So, I guess I'm unclear as to what the difference is??
Cathy, I say "Kudos!' to you for knowing yourself well enough that your doing whatever you have to do to stay off those opiates!! I have also tried to quit a million times before, throughout a decade of my life, and have continually failed, over & over again! I'd about given up every last shread of hope that I had left.. I was in a sad, dark, lonely place! Suboxone has changed that for me, has helped me be able to change my whole life. I know that my life is completely different than when I was using. It puts me in a whole other frame of mind, because I no longer have that stress of having to go searching for pills everyday & making sure that I had enough to get through until such & such a time when I can get more & have to have enough money to be able to buy more, etc, etc, ETC! What a tremedous load is lifted from your shoulders when you are no longer worrying about getting sick from lack of pills, as you need to have more & more all the time.. It's a hunger that is never satisfied, never enough.. And all that it entailed, the lying & scheming, knowing that your not living your life the "right" way, the inner hate for letting those you love down, again.. All of those things have disappeared since starting the Subs. For me, I can't even see that its even a question of what I need, I know that it is, as this is the best my life has been going in way too many years!!
I'm very sorry that you had to go through that with your last board, but I can assure you that you will not come across that here! The common thought that we have here is that this is a "miracle, life saving medication" & if you need to be on it for 2 years, 10 years or the rest of your life, SO BE IT!! You have to do what is right & what works for you. God bless those people that can do it without a "maintenance medication" as I hope that it continues to work for them. I won't put myself at that risk again. Until my brain is finished healing itself from all those years of use & I have the proper mental capabilities to go without any of those type of meds, I'm so glad that there is Suboxone available, so that all of that time is not wasted like it had been in the past..
As I said, I'm very glad that you've found this forum. I'm still thankful to have found it everyday, as there are wonderful, warm, knowledgable people here that really do understand the struggles of addiction, but also, recovery!! I have made friendships here that are very important to me, as well as having come to rely on this forum for much encouragement & strength throughout my days!! I certainly have that same hope for you!! I look forward to hearing more about you, if your comfortable to share, so that we can get to know you better.. There is also a place that you can post a picture of yourself or your family, home, pets or whatever tickles your fancy! If you look above where it says "Gallery" & click on that, you'll see where the "Users Albums" are located & how to "Upload Your Pic" or you can just check out the ones that are there until you get a chance to put yours in..
Again, welcome Cathy! Oh, by the way, maybe I should've put this at the top, but as you'll learn about me, I'm not always the most organized with my thoughts. My name is Beth & I have been on the Subs since May. I am married & have three children. A 13 yr old daughter, then, a one & a two year old. Our 13 yr old is named Nadine, the 2 yr old is Caroline, & my baby boy is Matty! Although, he really is less & less of a baby everyday! He's almost one & a half and that kid is a monkey!! Often times that I'm trying to post, I have to get up & down throughout trying to write & can't always pick up my same train of thought that I'd left off with.. I think that my posts are sometimes confusing & I'm one that rambles on & on.. So it's time for me to close this up!
Hope to hear from you again soon!
Yours in Recovery,
Beth

Hi Sam, I'm getting stronger and stronger each day. It's Barbara...I've been on the couch or bed for the last week or so. I had to have minor surgery last week. I'm going crazy to do sometings that involves going out. It's been long enough. My birds are all in the living room and now when I leave the room, they all start chattering and calling me. I've been on line for a couple of hours now and I'm starting to feel it. I just wanted to answer you and say thank you for your reply back to me. It made me feel good to know one of the new people is trusting enough to talk. This is great!


I'm going on my third year on Subs and like you, I may be on them for a long time. Who knows, only my brain will tell me when it's time.Anything is better than being sick...a lot better.

Got to go for now, but will be around more and more.

Yours in the struggle, Barbara

Hi Barbara, I will keep my suboxone treatment under my hat at the NA meetings. Which was harderd to quit the booze or opoids? Honesty this is the best I felt in years and hopefully like you said in your PM, my mind and body will catch up to each other. What kind of horses do you have? I use to own a Throughbred that came off of the race track. I use to show him in very small shows. He was a jumper. Then I bought a pony to teach him how to drive. My horse habit just like my drug habit got too expensive for me. So I am happy just to have my dogs. Thank you very much for your help and advice. I'll talk to you soon. Cathy