To whomever can help PLEASE

to whomever can help PLEASE,
My name is Valerie. I have been on opiates for 20 years. Tried everything but i'm thinking Suboxone is all that works to at least give me the relief I need to concentrate on counseling. I have no insurance, no money and am totally dependant on my mother inlaw seeing how methadone deteriorated my 21 yr. boyfriend's health. We've been on Methadone on and off for 13 yrs. Don't have the finances anymore since he had to quit his job. We are coming down very slowly off the Methadone and are getting sicker and weaker as the dose gets lower. We are out of options. we live in St. Louis. Can anyone please tell me where to go for help. I've made so many calls my ear feels like it's gonna fall off and fingers sour from researching the net...lol! I would greatly appreciate ANY help or info someone could give me. Thanks so Much

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Valerie,my name is Marie.

I'm so sorry for what you going thru. I wasted 20 yrs on my addiction as well.
I was on Methadone at one time but it was for pain relief. Of course,I abused it and getting off it wasn't easy. I had to go into a inpt. rehab at that time.

Do you have any Rehab's in your area willing to take you at least for Detox?

I know where I live which is in La. at one time they had the County that had a program if you had no Ins.
Have you tried Church's,Mental Health in your area?

Maybe Dee who is the Moderator will have some further ideas. If I can think of anything else I'll come back to post.

Try to hang in there. Also,come and let us know how things are going,please.

Marie

Hi Valerie,
My name is Dee and I am the manager of this forum. It is good to have you here with us. I would be happy to make some phone calls to see what I can find out for you. Have you checked with your local mental health services program in your area? Sometimes they do have programs or can refer you to a program that works on a sliding fee scale. You have to remember though, when contacting these kind of agencies there is usually a waiting list so be prepared to be placed on a list.
You said that you and your boyfriend have been on Methadone off and on for 13 years. Were you going to a clinic at the time or buying methadone from other people? I don't really care how you got your methadone so please don't think I am asking to get you into trouble I am only trying to get a feel of your past program and treatment.

As with any medication weather it be Suboxone or Methadone you need to take it on a regular basis to allow it to get into your body at a regular rate in order to obtain it's full benefits.
If at any time I offend you please let me know as that is not my intention, I want to help you and I care about the situation that you are in. Are you looking for a program for you yourself or your boyfriend as well?
One thing I really need to ask you is, are you wanting to get off of methadone and onto Suboxone for the cost or is it something else?

Methadone withdrawal can be hard, I know this personally. After being in mmt for four years I had to stop without the option of a medically assisted taper plan and it's not something I'd ever want to repeat. Please make sure you keep yourself hydrated, and eat. I know when you feel bad you don't want to eat and have no appetite but you have to keep your strength up. Keep as active as you can even if you don't feel like it. It will help, I promise.

Do you qualify for medicaid in the state that you live in? Have you applied for medicaid? In some states medicaid will pay for services and medication. Please check it out to see if you would qualify.

Please don't give up though, I know how hard this is and you have got to keep yourself moving. I will check in with you later.
Dee

Thanks guys for your support. I have got on a few waiting lists. the only rehab that offers suboxone in the area i was admitted into a week ago Thursday(yesterday) and it was just a mess because the doctor had reached her 100 patient limit for perscribing suboxone and wanted me to detox with flexaril and phenegan. Umm, I don't think so. I've done this so many times it's ridiculous.

I don't want to be on Suboxone but I'm thinking that I will be able to concentrate on the counseling part a lot better if i'm not thinking of relapsing. we were going to a clinic, this time, for 2 years and was on 190 mg of Methadone. We were very lucky and had his mother supporting us so we decided to start tapering ourselves but kept going to the clinic once a week for 4 more weeks to like stock pile it to taper slowly. that was 2 months ago. We are now on 17mg. going down 2mg a day and then taking a 5 day break at the 10's and actually doing so much better than I thought we would because we ALWAYS were forced to cold turkey.

Anyway, I found a couple outpatient places that will refer us to a place called ARCA which prescribes the Suboxone but only for a few weeks. Which that is better than nothing but I just feel that it's not enough time to get the skills we need to live life normally. So, of course. I'm frightened because i want to do it right this time so I can at least say I tried ya know?

It isn't the cost because the Methadone is so much cheaper but at this time, we have money for neither. which I guess is why I'm having a hard time with finding a provider of Suboxone bc they want straight up cash or Medicaid. I did apply for Medicaid but I don't think I will get it bc my kids are not with me and over 18 and they are saying that would be the only thing that would qualify me in MO.

So if you could get us some more info on places that I haven't found would be awesome Dee. If I forgot any answers, I apologize. It's just been a whirlwind since we started tapering. With us being on a low dose now and fixing to run out of Methadone, we are running out of time.

The lists that I got us on for referrals to Arca are two weeks long, which is awesome if it works out that way.

I'm sorry for your situation. Suboxone is an expensive drug and it makes it very difficult for some people to stay in treatment. You seem to have the right attitude about needing to develop skills to deal with your addiction after the tapering phase. If you are unable to get into and stay in treatment, please don't give up on your recovery. There are millions of people who have found recovery without using maintenance medications. I know that it would be very difficult to do so, because I have came off of methadone cold turkey in the past, and it is as close as I ever hope I get to hell, but so is living in active addiction. I will be praying for you to get into a program quickly. In the mean time keep your head up. You seem to be in a situation where you have nothing left to lose, and that was the situation I was in at the end of my active addiction. However, I hadn't lost everything, I hadn't given this disease my last breath, and by the grace of God hopefully I won't. Please remember no matter how bad things are they could get worse, and I hate to sound cliche, but I have found that the old saying that it is darkest before the dawn truly applies to recovering from addiction. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I just thought of another online resource that may be able to give you more information on how to get into treatment in your area. intherooms.com has online groups and is also affiliated with many treatment programs.

Valerie,
Have you spoken to anyone from ARCA to see what their program entails? I did some checking and they do use Suboxone on a short term basis like you said but they also integrate counseling and other therapies into their program.
It might be worth talking to them. You are wise to be exploring all of your options when it comes to your recovery.
In the meantime I will get a list together for you and send it in an email.

You need to be able to develop a strong support group that will be there for you. It is too easy when two people are going through this together for one person to make a suggestion to the other to just take something this time to make it a little easier to make it through the day.
That was my biggest downfall. My boyfriend and I at the time were both trying to quit. We both went to a residential facility (separate facilities) to get us through the withdrawal process. I got out first with him following just a few days later.
One of us made the suggestion and it didn't take much for the other to agree. I guess you can figure out what happened from there.
I am not saying this will happen to you, I just want you to be aware.

Being aware is one of your biggest assets in recovery. You have come a long way in this journey, too far to give it up. You can make it through to the other end and we are here for you every step of the way. Anytime that you need to come talk, please don't hesitate.
I'll get started on that list now.




To stop believing in yourself, is to stop believing in your dreams.
Never give up~

thanks Monica and Dee. I have spoke to Arca, as a matter of fact that is our only hope at this point. We are 2, 2 week waiting lists that are supposed to refer us to ARCA and have an appt. for another one that is a referral to them. They do self pay but if you get the referral its state funded. The one that is most promising is called A& R services but as like all the others, self pay but only $65 a week and after getting started we can get on the Here To Help Program but we have no money and I cannot talk his Mom into paying the $130 the first wk. Not that she don't want to, she is taking care of us and her disabled boyfriend on her salary alone and just don't have it. So I am thankful for her right now or we would be doing cold turkey, AGAIN!

Dee we have so much influence on one another that its ridiculous..lol But hoping it will be used in a good way this time. I am actually excited about being sober this time around so hopefully it will all work out, I have faith

Well it does sound like your making some progress and I am proud of you for not giving up. If there is one thing that I've learned since entering into recovery this last time, and I pray it is a last for me is that giving up is not an option.
Death is not an option.

It does sound like both programs have some promise for you. Having a back up is always helpful.
I hope that your taking some time out of your weekend to enjoy yourself and the wonderful little things that life has to offer.
My other half is waiting for me so we can take our Sunday walk so I have to run. Enjoy your day and remember that we are always here for you.