Suboxone Program

Subject: Suboxone Program Thu 08 Jan 2009, 12:43 am

Hi Dee,

I also meant to mention to you earlier that I did call that other doctor that I've been talking about, who is getting ready to start the Suboxone program. To refresh your memory about this situation, I've been calling his office since October to try to get an appointment for him to begin prescribing my Subs, since he's just starting the program & does not yet have his 3 patients in the RX Asst Program through RB drug company. Each time that I'd previously called, the office staff has put me off "just a little longer" until the doctor received his DEA # to be able to prescribe the Subs. I finally had an appointment there, back at the beginning of December, as soon as he'd received his DEA#. When I met him, I guess that I was a bit surprised that he is an OB/GYN, & as a new patient, they expected me to have a pap & yearly gynecological exam before seeing the doctor. Shocked

I refused it & asked to speak with him first. He did come in & talk with me, without requiring those services, as well as agreeing to participate in the Rx Assistance Program, so that I'd be able to receive my meds, through him, from Reck-Bes based on my income.. cheers

which as you know, that is a big issue for me being able to stay on them! Yet, I do have to say that I've been slightly apprehensive about switching from a neurologist, who specializes in addiction, to a baby doctor who is just learning about it, to begin prescribing my Subs. Neutral

Yet, after this past weekend & the issue that I had with my "specialist" not calling my Rx into the pharmacy for the entire long weekend, I thought that I definately needed to get on the ball & call this other doctor back again!! Idea

So, that's what I did! Wink

I got put on hold for 9 minutes, then someone hung up on me! I immediately called back & they again asked me to hold & I asked if there was a better time to call back, as I only have a cell phone & no land line, so the woman said (verbatim) "What exactly is it that you need?" (with such a tone) Evil or Very Mad

I offered to return the call later if she was too busy & she quickly changed her attitude to helpful when I explained that I only wanted to schedule an appointment for Suboxone treatment, as she quickly explained that I needed to call back in February because he's not yet starting the program until at least February... and maybe not even then. She was unable to give me a specific date to plan on. This makes me nervous about what this guy is really like.. Suspect

Why does it have to be so hard to find a good doctor? Question

I go back to my regular Sub doctor tomarrow & when they called today to confirm my appt, they also mentioned what amount I'd need to pay first, before I'll be able to go back & see the doctor. This bothers me how they act about the money as I've never not paid or had a balance, etc. Mad

I feel that they are so quick to get financial issues resolved that I wish they'd use some of that motivation to make sure that their patients have the medications that they need, while the office is closed for 6 days, & leaving no way to contact anyone!! (other than a message stating that, if its an emergency, go to the emergency room. If not, they'd reopen on Monday, January 5th.) Evil or Very Mad

There is no specialty to me regarding this doctor & addiction knowledge if she thinks that addicts can just "go without" for a few days. If that were the case, then I wouldn't need to be on a "long term" maintenance medication!! Idea

You'd think that she should understand that better than anybody! Question

Like I mentioned earlier, this is why I want to continue gaining as much knowledge on this topic as possible, because many of these doctors, either don't know, or don't care. I want to have MY facts straight as I'm the one "living it" and don't want to end up without my meds or dead from the wrong interactions.

I don't want some staff persons laziness (or busy-ness) to determine my fate beyond having those meds ready to be picked up at the pharmacy. I'm sorry to sound like this, so grouchy towards the medical profession, but I almost feel like they've (at my current doctors office) already made up their mind about me before ever meeting me, & have a negative attitude about the Sub patients, as I've heard others discussing feeling offended while they're in the waiting area.. I just don't understand how people can act like that, & especially in that type of an office, because you'd think that they'd be the most understanding as they work with it everyday. Unless that is the reason & they've dealt with too many people who don't really want to recover or trying to "scam" them, etc. Question

I don't know what it is, but I feel like those office girls had an instant hostility towards me & I don't even know why?? It makes things tense for me everytime that I have to go into that office. I always find myself repeating my little saying to myself, "Hold on, Chin up!" It helps me to get through it, as I know I will have to get through it once again tomarrow! You know what I'm saying?? Like a Star @ heaven

I need to get this closed up & go to bed, as I can't even seem to see straight any longer tonight!! Sleep

Hope all is well with you & that you can get some sleep! Also, keeping Ms. Barbara in my prayers! I love you

Talk to you tomarrow my friend! Wink

Good Night Dee!
Love,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Thu 08 Jan 2009, 10:08 am

Okay Beth,
You have been going through this long enough. There is no reason what so ever for anyone to be treated the way that you are.

First off though, I don't ever want you to feel the need to have to apologize for anything that you say here. That is what we are here for. These are your feelings and you have got to get them out, what better place then with the people that care about you. Deborah created this place for us, for all of us. So now your being told that the doctor that you have been waitng for to start prescribing the subs isn't sure that he will be doing it not only as planned but,at all. What the he**. It's not like you can turn your addiction off and on like a light switch, you need a doctor that is going to be there when you need him to be, not when it is convenient in his life. This is your life and not his that we are talking about.
We have got to find you a reliable doctor, there is one out there, we just haven't found him/her yet.
You have your regular appointment today? I'm sure that you will be able to bring up the unpleasantness of the weekend that you were left out in the cold without making him feel like he is the target. ( Even though he should be)
What City do you live in? Your zip code.
You can send me a private message if you want. I feel like sometimes just because our disease is an unpleasant one we are becoming cash cows to these providers.
The girls in that doctors office aren't being professional at all, why do they work there? It's not because they love what they do that's for sure. Unless they love to make people feel like crap.
I had an experience with a doctor last spring about the money thing too. When I had my heart attacks in March, I had no insurance, I also had a appointment scheduled with my primary care doctor for a check up in April. I was recovering at home in April and forgot about the appointmnet with the doctor, they did not call to remind me, they knew I had the heart attack, they knew I had no insurance as I had been paying my appointments up front.
I went for an appointment in May. I told them I had not worked since I had been ill, and could I pay for my visit on my next visit, the doctor said no problem. One week later I got a letter that said I had missed an appointment in April and I was being dropped from the pratice. I called them, and made an appointment to go in and talk to the doctor, I went in that day. At that time I also paid for my last visit, but left a balance for that day. I talked to the doctor about the letter that I got, he told me to ignore it as he knew that I was at home recovering from the heart attacks and that the appointment should have been cancelled. He also mentioned that I should get some bloodwork done within the next couple of weeks to check my thyroid. Two weeks later, I called the office for an order to be sent to the hospital lab for my blood work they(Lisa) said no problem, and she faxed the order over. The next week I called the office, and asked about my bloodwork results, the girl that answered thr phone (Megan) asked me why did I have blood work when I knew that I was not a patient anymore. And when was I going to pay my balance. I told her that I had spoke to the doctor and he said to ignore the letter, she told me that there was no notation in my record to that effect, and the proceeded to ask me who ordered the bloodwork, I told her that Lisa did on the doctors orders. Megan then told me that I could not get my results as I was not a patient any longer. She again asked me about my unpaid balance. I ignored the question, and then asked her if I wasn't a patient, then why was the bloodwork order approved, she said it was because the doctor did not want to leave me hanging without a doctor. I of course proceeded to get angry and cussed her for everything she was worth, and hung up. I was so mad that I was shaking. Let me explain something about this doctor. He is an addiction specialist, he used to be a good doctor, but then he one day decided to take over a family practice and his practice grew. Now he has so many patients and his level of service has gone to hell. I was not there for Suboxone although he does prescribe them, but that is how I was treated. Everytime I went in there, the nurse would ask me if I was there for my suboxone and everytime I would tell her no, that I had another doctor for my subs. She would get flustered and leave the room. I have never been back to that doctor, he has a reputation with the other doctors in the area as being one of the best. I think he is a piece of s**t. He has never called to apologize for the way I was spoke to.
After the day that I got so upset, I didn't know what to do, so I called my sub doctor she is a psychiatrist, I only see her for the subs. She used to practice General Medicine, she gave me an appointment to see her, as she thought I needed to talk to someone and I did. She got on the phone with the lab at the hospital and got my lab work results for me, in order to see her I ahve to have a primary care provider, I thought that since I didn't have one anymore she would drop me form her program. She did not. She helped me to find another doctor to see for primary care.
She is the reason that I keep saying that there is a good doctor out ther for you, we just have to find him/her.
I am blessed to have the doctor that I have now. She has alot of patients, up to her limit. But is never to busy to see me. Her office girl is the best.
Have faith, they are not all the same. I'm sorry that this went on for so long. I have been angry at the other doctor for almost a year now, every time that someone would tell me they were going to see him, I would cringe. I had to let it out and let it go.
Thanks for listening, I really didn't mean to take over your post.
Let me know when you get back from your appointment okay. It is snowing up a big one, everything is completely white, I have to get ready for my appointment this morning with the orthopedist, my father inlaw is on his way, but he can have his coffee while he waits for me.
Yours
Dee

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Thu 08 Jan 2009, 6:41 pm

Hello Dee & Deborah,
I've just returned home from my doctors appointment & had wanted to finish editing my post from earlier, but am unable to find it?? I thought that I'd also sent one out & also cannot find that one either?? I know that Deborah has been doing some rearranging & was hoping that you may know where I should look? Please let me know if you have any suggestions.
Thanks,
Beth

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Thu 08 Jan 2009, 10:41 pm

HI Beth,
I just got back on here from this morning, if you can give me a second I will locate it for you. I do have a outline of where we are to post things ( subjects) and will share that with everyone.
Yours
Dee

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Thu 08 Jan 2009, 11:45 pm

Hi Dee!

Have you been having a good day? Did you also have a doctors appt today? As you know, I had my regular Sub drs appt, as well as a counseling appt, while I was there.. Wink

It was again, mass confusion at that office..

Although, I do need to note that the "ever-so-rude" front desk girl has been replaced!! The counselor told me that I was not the only one that had mentioned something to the doctor about her pleasant personality.. I really couldn't believe that she was able to talk to patients the way that she did & continue to keep her job... well, apparently not! Wink

I'm closing this up for now, but have to tell you about some good accomplishments coming from my appointment today!! Talk to you tomarrow Dee!
Your Friend,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Fri 09 Jan 2009, 1:55 pm

Hi Dee!

It's really quiet on here today as well as last night.. Question

I'm hoping that everyone is doing well. I'm still looking forward to hearing from Bulldog to hear how his appointment went yesterday.. Have you heard any more from Ms. Barbara? Is she starting to feel better at all? I've also still not heard anything from Mez & was hoping that someone else possibly had?? I miss her & her "spunky" attitude.. As I'd previously mentioned, I think that she had internet troubles & maybe they are not yet resolved?? Just wondering what everybody is up to.. Wink

I'd also wanted to tell you a bit about my doctors appointment yesterday. That office is mass confusion! I had an appt with my counselor at 2:30, & then, with the doctor at 4:00. I got there at 2:30, signed in & sat down to wait. At 4:00, the doctor came out to get me & we had our brief, 10 minute consultation together. Then, she proceeded to ask me why I'd cancelled my counseling appt for the day?? Mind you, I'd been in the waiting area the entire time.. I explained that I hadn't, that I was still waiting on him, etc. He ended up taking in another patient & the doctor told him that I would just wait on him as well as pick up my prescriptions after seeing him. Mad

This made me mad because the front desk girl explained that it was her fault & I had my Mom waiting in the car with both babies. Again, they have the attitude towards me because I wanted to reschedule it, but it had been their fault in the first place.. My Mom had plans last evening, an appointment of her own to get to.

I didn't end up getting out of that office until well after five last night & only spent a total of about 20 minutes with the dr & counselor combined. Mad

As well as having to pay $298.00 just to be able to get to see the doctor. I get frustrated with this situation, but am trying to make the best of it & continue to talk to my doctor about all of it. I always seem to have better results when I can talk with her in person. Again, I also brought up the Rx Assistance Program, including the new info from Deborah that the meds do NOT have to be shipped to the doctors home. They are shipped to whatever address the doctor has listed on their DEA# & is usually not sent to the drs home, but to their office. She told me that if I bring her all of the information that she will look it over & consider it.. I'm trying to just keep working on her about it & hopefully, this will be a situation where persistance pays off!! (or pays for the Subs!) Rolling Eyes

Especially because I've continued to try to get an appt scheduled with that doctor (the OB/GYN) who is just starting the Suboxone Program, yet, he's still not exactly sure when he's going to start it up, can't give a specific date. I started calling there in October because their number was listed as a Suboxone provider & they explained that he was waiting on receiving his DEA# to be able to prescribe the Subs & to call back next week to see if it had come yet, etc. I've been calling ever since, as well as seeing him that one time in December to ask if he'd participate in the RX Assistance through RB. He told me that he would participate, but wasn't going to start it until the beginning of the new year. He told me to call the first week of January to schedule an appt, which is what I called there to do the other day. The woman on the phone rushed through telling me that he's decided to wait until February to start it now & to call back then. Question

I just need to make sure that I stay in good with my current doctor despite my frustrations because I need that Suboxone RX!! Idea

I think I did already mention this, but also at that drs appt yesterday, the normal, young front office girl who was always acting so put out by the patients had been replaced. Apparently, they'd had several comments on her.. That did make the appt easier to go through though, without her rude comments on top of an already frustrating situation. Neutral

My doctor has also prescribed me an additional medication called Seroquel, to be used an hour before bed every night for better sleep & lessened daily anxiety. Have you heard of this medicine before & do you know anything about it??

I asked my doctor who assured me that it is non-habit forming as well as safe to take with the Subs, but still just want to make sure.. I can always call my local pharmicist also, as he will always take the time to talk with me & explain any questions like that. In fact, he's told me that he wishes more people would check with him about drug interactions before just assuming that the doctor remembers exactly what you are on & prescribes something else that may interact.. Not that I'm any kind of whiz kid, I had to learn it the hard way!

Someday, Dee, I'm trying to put my story together & you'll see that I'm polar opposite of a whiz kid when it comes to the opiates. I still cannot even believe some of the things that have happened in my past as a direct result of opiate addiciton. Evil or Very Mad

I'm just so very thankful that I am able to say it in a past tense. Not that the addiction ever goes away, but living my life without using is becoming more & more normal everyday. I'm hoping that my "re-routed" brain waves & fried out sensors as well as dropped seratonin & dopamine levels will continue to heal with time & living the "right" way. That's what I'm counting on! Wink

I believe! Laughing

I need to close this up so that I can get some laundry switched around, etc. Thank you, as always, for being here with your insight as I feel like I am lacking these days. Laughing

Hope all is well with you in Vermont (staying warm!) & to hear from you soon! alien

Love,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Fri 09 Jan 2009, 2:48 pm

Education is the key to success

Hi Beth,

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you on this post. You are doing positive things in regards to your current doctor. Perhaps maybe that if you are persistent you can change things in that office. By changing things I mean that by educating her about the patient Rx program who knows? Maybe she will start the program herself, and if that happens, not only will it benefit you, but other patients as well. Much kudos to you Beth

Isn’t amazing what we can do. Go to our web site that Deborah has created, it has so much information. If you will go there and read, read, and read more, you will be armed for most any battle. I don’t mean to make it sound like you’re going into battle, but come to think of it, maybe you are.

Now that the crabby office person is gone, things will approve in that area as well. It always pays to speak up. (I should listen to my own advice LOL) Just think that if everyone that had an unpleasant experience with the receptionist would have not said anything, she would still be there ruling the roost

Vermont is great. Our green mountain state is now the white mountain state. But I can’t complain, if it weren’t for the snow, the spring flowers wouldn’t be able to pop when they are ready.

I have to run for now, but will be around most of the day off and on

Yours

Dee

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Fri 09 Jan 2009, 8:39 pm

Hi Dee,
What's been going on with you today? Did you get your errands done? Question

I also had a few places I needed to get to today in order to get the things I needed done accomplished.. But I did it. Idea

Just simple tasks.. banking, grocery store, gasoline, etc. We're under a 'Winter Storm Advisory' here until tomarrow night with about a foot accumulation expected, along with wicked cold temperatures & wind chills. I know that you know all about this stuff & are most likely used to deep snow & bitter cold!! I always enjoy the first good snowfall of the year, but then, especially as I'm getting older, I'm ready for the spring & warmer temperatures sooner & earlier every year!! Exclamation

Anyways, I needed to make sure that I had my running done before the roads get ridiculous to be out driving on.. I had an accident last February where I totaled my car on black ice. I hit another car head on & thank God, no one was badly hurt, but my Impala was done!!

I'm very apprehensive about driving on the ice & snow now, therefore, I've just tried to eliminate it!! Unless its an emergency, I won't go out on the slippery roads anymore. It's simply not worth it, as it doesn't matter how good of a driver you are, when you hit ice, you lose control. It really scared me into sensibilty! But not that night, as of course, I was using & had to drive 45 minutes to go get my stash & wrecked on the way. Listen to how sick I am, Dee. I refused to go in the ambulance & my car was totaled, so it was being towed away right before my very eyes. They kept telling me that I needed to call my husband to come take me to the hospital if I was refusing to go by ambulance. But I knew that if my husband were to come pick me up that I wouldn't be able to meet my guy to get what I was after, what I "needed" that I risked going out on the worst night of the year to drive 45 minutes on a good day to be able to get my pills!! So, guess who I called? Idea

Of course, my guy with my meds! He picked me up at the accident site & we exchanged & I partook, then it didn't even matter anymore that I'd just totaled my car 40 minutes away from home when I was supposed to be at the grocery store!

I ended up having him drop me off at the hospital & calling my husband from there to come get me, after I had gotten my pills, of course!! Twisted Evil

And I wonder why my husband still questions me from time to time?? I try to always keep in mind that he is "reacting" to my actions & if I hadn't acted the way that I did, then never would he have acted like that in response.

Although, as I continue on my road of recovery & feeling better & stronger about myself, his outbursts are less & less acceptable to me. We've already covered these issues that continue to be brought back up & have decided to work through them together, so it needs to be let go by him as well. He always tells me to "let go of the past" mistakes & just keep making things better, as that will resolve these issues of distrust between us. Yet, how can I possibly be able to let it go when it keeps getting thrown right back up in my face?? It's completely contradictory to me the way that he still acts sometimes, but I know he's trying to keep us together as well & I couldn't be any more thankful for that. We're working hard on wanting to keep our family together! I love you

This is one time that our strong wills can actually benefit us & our children. cyclops

My little babies are just having a heck of a time recently with being ill. scratch

They started with that cough & yucky nose around Christmas, so I've been running a vaporizer with that Vicks steam in it. They'd also both been throwing up around that same time, for sure that they both did on Christmas Day, but I was blaming it more on having phlegm in their throats & getting "gaggy" than the flu because they had no fevers & were not acting sick in the least.. Then, I thought we were on the upswing! But this week, particularly these past couple of days, they seem to be getting worse. Caroline, my two year old, has been unable to stop coughing & has been throwing up nearly everything that she's taken in. She also has a fever of 102 degrees. I'm paying close attention to her as I worry about dehydration. I went & got Popsicles, 7Up, jello, saltine crackers, chicken noodle soup & more Childrens Tylenol!! Another company that I need to buy stock in! Wink

But just going to continue to keep a close eye on her & make sure that her temperature continues to drop, continue rocking her & making sure that she's getting some fluids into her system, at least. Idea

We'll get her well, or on her way to well, here shortly, & she'll be right back to her normal "tornado-style" self! That's what makes it so noticable that she's feeling lousy, that she just wants to lay around right now instead of her "wild child" red headed personality!! And she's still unable to sleep well or get comfortable... it makes me feel so bad when they're sick like this! Knowing that they are miserable & there's really nothing more that I can do about it than what we're already doing. Tylenol, fluids & the rocking chair! I love you

I've actually learned to be able to sleep while sitting up & rocking one (or both!) of them, so that I sometimes wake up & find myself still in the chair at four or whatever in the morning!! Sleep

"Somewhere over the rainbow", I will get a full nights sleep again, without any children on top of me! Wink

As I always say, they are my angels & I wouldn't want them any other way, well, maybe to sleep better, but if that's their only issue, then I'm certainly not complaining!! I love you

I feel so blessed that I still get to be here to raise them, & now due to Subs, I can function off the opiates & raise them better!! Actually, remember these years with them! Thank you God!! cheers

So, I've gone & done what I always do while trying to post. I start to post & as soon as I try to get a train of thought written out, I get interrupted by these kiddos, needing to get up & down throughout my post & can never keep a steady train of thought, so I feel like my words seem confusing at times.. Plus, that's just me because I always seem to ramble on & on.. Embarassed

Do you remember those "Chatty Cathy" dolls that were real popular during the mid-eighties? Rolling Eyes

Something like that! I don't even have time to explain it right now. I need to get back to these screaming kids right now, but am so delirous from lack of sleep last night that I almost can't focus at times. I make myself take, at least, short breaks, just to get a couple of deep breaths before starting it all over again, then again, then again!! I'll talk with you more later. Hopefully, I will still be somewhat sane at that point!! Question

Here's hoping!! I need to not hear any babies crying for even 5 minutes would help right now!! Gotta go girl- talk to you soon!

Yours,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Fri 09 Jan 2009, 10:46 pm

Beth,
Do I remember the Chatty Cathy dolls?? Girl, I am 50 years old. What does that tell ya. lol!

Back then, baby dolls only chattered away. Now days they chatter and mess a diaper at the same time. Times have come a long way. Cool

It's sounds like the little one is so miserable, good thing she has her mama there to tend to her. Have you also tried the pedialite? Maybe one of the falvored ones will help to keep some fluids in her.
Yes, I did get my stuff done today, it was so cold out there. Brrrr
Now I should be set for the weekend, which is a good thing as the storm that you guys have is coming our way. I just got off of the phone with Barbara, she sounds good. But tired of being in the house. She told me that she posted but I haven't made it that far to read it yet. Yours is the first one that I checked on.
You do sound like you could use a rest, is there someone that you can get to come over this weekend to help you out, so that you can get a nap here and there? I know that you probably don't want to ask anyone for help, but it is better to ask than to risk exhaustion.
It's getting late and I have to get brownies out of the oven, I don't know why but I have had an awful craving for chocolate lately. Then I over do it and will eat the whole pan, (of brownies)or just a few at first and then get up at midnight and finish them off. Razz

Yours
Dee

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Sat 10 Jan 2009, 7:03 pm

Hi Sweet Dee!! flower

Once again, I love this place!! Wink

I got onto here this afternoon & immediately got to chat with other people who were on.. including Ms. Barbara, who I've missed so much as I know that you also have!!
The group is continuing to grow, grow, grow! cheers

It was so nice to come on & read all the new posts, as well as having those messages. I was so happy to hear from Mez. I look forward to her getting her internet fixed, hopefully this next week, as I know that she's going crazy missing everyone!! It really is like having a big hole in your life when you look forward to getting on here & aren't able to.. I was upset last week that our internet was down due to the ice & that was only for about 3-4 hours. I can't even imagine how she must be feeling!! cyclops

I thought it was so great, as you said, to read Bulldog's posts & just get that big smile remembering!! It was so cool this past week how he joined as well as Korbeshkie & his wife, (though, I still haven't heard from her) but how they joined before starting the Subs & getting to watch that awesome transformation from misery to hope & joy!! I love you

It's all that much more inspiring to me, to keep me motivated & on the "right" path!! Idea

It puts so much hope out there for others who may be struggling, but have already lost hope & need to see it for themselves, need the right encouragement!! Very Happy

It helps that much more in recovery knowing that you have people you can turn to that can understand where you are & what you are still dealing with.. Also, I've noticed that as I've gotten more comfortable with certain people, it's been easier to start to get some of my story out, as I've never told anyone these type of things, could never imagine that I'd ever want to. Yet, I'm really starting to believe in that addage that "you are only as sick as your deepest secret.." Even just last night, & thinking about, & telling you about the incident where I totaled my car & what I did right afterwards.

I guess that I've tried to put these things out of my mind, to forget.. yet, that hasn't worked for me thus far!! I hope to just use those times as learning tools for now & remind me of what I need to stay away from, as well as where I need to be now! Idea

The other day at my doctors appointment, she asked me if I was still coming on here, as I had previously told her about how much I enjoyed it, during my appointment in December. She encouraged me to continue with it, if it made me feel happy & encouraged, but also kind of went on about how over the internet, you never really know what your going to get. She's telling me to watch out for a scam or misleading information & I guess that I appreciate her concern, but I feel like I get so much more here than from her office.. other than the rx, of course! Wink

Everyone here knows what its like to live it!! Exclamation

I was laughing when I first read your post & you were talking about your love for chocolate!! Girl, I thought that I was just obsessed, as I look forward to making sure we have something chocolate for after dinner every night! That has to do with my family, as well, but I always seem to eat so much of it!! I love the Ghiradelli's chocolates with the caramel filling- that's my favorite!! Very Happy

I could eat an entire bag a night if I had that many.. pig

My kiddos are still not feeling so hot!!

We had an extremely rough night around here when it came to anyone being able to sleep. As well as cleaning up vomit several times, changing the entire bedding 3 times throughout the night, bathing & rebathing Caroline & myself, as she was sleeping with me due to not feeling well. She sat up from a dead sleep, looked at me & puked all over me, my face & hair!!

Then, my little Matty boy didn't want to miss out on any of the three in the morning action, so he kept climbing out of his bed & running into wherever we were.. It seemed to me that he was worried about his sister (LOL!) or just wanted an excuse to be up out of bed & not fast asleep like he'd normally be. Shocked

He was the most ornery that I'd ever seen him to act & wouldn't listen to me for anything. He was going from one thing to the next of what he's NOT allowed to do. Play in the toilet water, dump the trashcan, play in the pile of clothes with vomit all over them, climbing into the fireplace, knocking the lamp off the end table!! Dee, that all happened in 2 minutes!! Mad

I'm trying to clean up the first mess & twenty others are created, all at three in the morning when I can't even see straight because this is the third night in a row of being up way more than down!! Sending out an SOS! Just need to get it off my chest, as I know that you know how I feel about my kids! I wouldn't know how to live without them! Sometimes, I get frustrated, but as any Mother knows, that's also part of it! I do these things because I do love them & want to comfort them, especially when ill! I love you

Matt has been around & has been a big help! If he weren't here, I'd never even get a few hours of sleep when they are sick like this because neither one can sleep well & they both want to be held! We try to almost take shifts throughout the nights so that we can both get some sleep! That started right after I had Matty because I was also working & had to get a few hours of sleep in there somewhere!! Matt seems to fall asleep much earlier than I do, so he usually sleeps well from about 10pm to 5am, then when he gets up & gets his coffee, etc, he keeps the kids with him until he leaves for work which gives me a little more time to rest! Every little bit helps!! What a Face

I hope that things are going well for you today & wonder if you have anything new going on there?? Have you started to get the weather that had started to hit us yesterday? We have 9 inches of snow right now, but its continuing to come down!! The babies & I haven't even left the house today! I was happy to have gotten my running done yesterday & not even need to leave today, maybe even tomarrow!! Question

Hope to hear what is going on with you Dee!
Talk to you soon! Wink

Your Friend,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Sat 10 Jan 2009, 9:10 pm

Hi Beth,
Just a few short lines to you, then I'm off to spend most of the evening with the family. My brother inlaw and his daughter are up from Indianna for a couple of months. My niece has been having problems with her mom, and they decided that sending her and dad up here to Vermont may help. Whatever the reason I am delighted to have them so close.
Right now they are eating dinner and then we will watch a movie, after the movie I will be back on here for a while. It sounds like your little one was so full of energy this morning, I rememer those days. lol!

<<< Not that I am laughing at you, but just remembering days past.

You and Matt sound like your relationship has come a long way towards the repair that it so badly needed. I know that it's not perfect, but if it were, wouldn't it be so boring?

The next time that you go to your doctor write down the url's for both of the web sites so that you can give them to her to check out herself. Let her know that they are Hon Code certified. A lot of doctors, and other professionals go to the web sites for their information, they know that with the both of them being Hon Code certified the information that they contain is accurate. Deborah works very hard day and night to make sure the web sites are kept up to date.
Well my friend it is movie time.
I will talk to you later on tonight, if you are around
Yours,
Dee

Admin Number of posts : 95 Registration date : 2008-11-06

Dear Beth:

I read over most of your posts and I am so sorry you are still having problems. I had to organize the Suboxone: The Light At The End Of The Tunnel due to the request of the ones backing me financially because others were having trouble locating their posts. I am asking you to read where they should go and help me by posting in the correct field.

Let me explain how you can locate all your posts. Once you Log In if you look up to the right side of the page at the top of the page in it is small while letters and it says "Actions." You click on the word "Actions" and a list comes up. Then click on "View Your Posts." It will pull up every post you have made and where it is located and then you can reply to it. I am so sorry I had to inconvenience all of you but I have my orders, too. I should have done it to begin with but I admit I just didn't know how. It took me over twenty-four hours to move and try to place the posts in the right area. If you have any trouble trying to do what I asked you to locate them, either let Dee or I know and we will try and talk you through it.

Now, once again I read of all your problems with your Suboxone Doctors. Let me see if I can help explain to you what I know about what you are saying. I would stay with the one you are with until you know for sure the OB/GYN is going to become Certified. My guess is He is waiting to get approval from the DEA to prescribe because He has to meet certain qualifications but it does seem like it has been long enough but them I don't know when He applied for Certification and the Holiday Season did slow up everything to some extent. You said you were worried because He was an OB/GYN but I think the reason He is applying is because we have so many pregnant patients either on Suboxone and/or Methadone and it is much easier for Him and the patient if He is able to prescribe. If He is able to prescribe it then He knows more about what is happening with you if all your medications are coming from her/him. Besides, it would cost the patient more money financially if she has to go to the OB/GYN for her pregnancy and then see a Suboxone Doctor for their Suboxone. All of the Doctors prescribing the medication have to take a course to be Certified. They have to acquire special permission to prescribe it and I am sure it is what your OB/GYN is waiting on. It's possible He changed His mind thinking maybe there is just too much red tape involved in acquiring the permission to prescribe but then I doubt it. I just wanted to give you some insight into why He was possibly wanting to be able to prescribe the medication. You don't have to be an Addiction Specialist to prescribe Suboxone. I am sure it may offer some benefits to the patient but then it all depends on what your Addiction Specialist believes. Most of them usually are more expensive but then they probably offer Counseling and I do believe it is important.

Now, as for the one you are seeing now maybe it is possible She didn't know about the DEA License #. It took me awhile to track the information down for you and find out why She thought they would be sending it to Her house. I did just because you are important and I know you need the Financial Assistance. All She has to do is change the address on her DEA License and they will send it to Her Office because she has Her Certification to dispense it. I will be more than happy to speak with her about it or she can call Reckitt-Benckiser. I would continue to be persistent with Her if you prefer to stay there unless you are positive the OB/GYN is going to prescribe it. I'm sure the Holidays just slowed everything up but I have no problem understanding why He would want to dispense it because if I was your OB/GYN I would prefer to be able to write all your medications for you because sometimes the Addcition Specialists nor even the Methadone Maintenance Treatment Medical Doctors don't always agree with the OB/GYN. I had to help a girl out with this last summer. She was pregnant and her OB/GYN Doctor requested that her MMT Doctor increase her methadone many times but He would not. He caused many problems for Her because she couldn't write for the methadone and the girl wasn't receiving enough and she could have lost her baby if she had gone into serious withdrawal.

We had to locate another MMT Facility for her to attend. I left the MMT Facility too because I could not obtain an increase. We filed a complaint against the Doctor with the Methadone State Authority because it was malpractice but He put her and her baby's life into danger. This is my guess why some of them would prefer to dispense the medication themselves. If you feel more comfortable with an Addiction Specialist then I would stick it out and maybe since She knows all She has to do is change her address that She will take steps to do this. You can tell her we work with Reckitt-Benckiser and I would be more than happy to assist Her in any way I can. It is more important you stay with the one you feel most comfortable with because in my opinion you will be much happier if you stay with the one you that makes you happier and you feel most comfortable with.

I know I am not here every day but Dee and Barbara can reach me every day if they need to and of course I will give you a call but please do let me help you on this if you need me. I did leave information I believe under Suboxone or Questions and Information because I haven't yet figured out how to post "Announcements." I left a number I obtained from Reckitt-Benckiser on how each of you could report your Doctor if He treated you unjustly. I am hoping you will not sit quietly by and do nothing if you have been treated unfairly. If you have a problem with any of the Staff at the Office where you see your Doctor, then take the time to report it to your Doctor when you see Him/Her. They are not always aware of it and if they receive alot of reports about one of their staff they will do something about it, (maybe not all of them but most of them will).

I worked in a Doctor's Office for seven years or more. I know just how they operate and I worked for Internal Medicine and Pain Management (Physiatrist) nerve specialist. I was shocked at how they handled the patients's phone calls. Each Doctor had their own Nurse and I worked for Dr. Tolotta and I helped her with the tests for Neurological Damage but I always took care of the refills as soon as possible and called them back to let them know I had called them in. She didn't like giving out pain medication and many times I had to intervene on the patient's behalf but I seen others take phone calls and they would write it down and as soon as they hung up throw it in the garbage or take their own sweet time in calling it in especially if they were busy. They did not like people who called in all the time for pain medication. They assumed you were an "addict." They would always make jokes about the person and many of them did take an automatic dislike to anyone they knew was an addict. It is just how the ball bounced or the cookie crumbled. Eventually, I could no longer take it because I despised the way they treated patients and of course, they all thought I took my job much too seriously.

Yes, Beth and many of them are over worked and after dealing with rude patients all day and many of them are- they do become ill and are not pleasant to deal with. It was very rough on me because they always scheduled too many patients and many days we didn't finish untill very late and many times I missed lunch because they just wasn't enough time to eat and get my work done. I always tried to be compassionate and I tried to intervene for the patients if I thoguht the Doctor was wrong. Most of the nurses just really didn't care but they always were a few that did. No one ever takes the time to say "Thank You" to any of them and many of them do work very hard, of course most of them didn't deserve one,

but some were treated badly by some of the patients.

Now, as for Seroquel. I would like for you to do some research on the medication for you decide to continue on it. What did She give it to you for? I believe if I'm not wrong you said insomnia. It is only my opinion but I don't really go for antidepressants because onlyif the depression is coming from the inside will they help it. I believe it is very wrong to prescribe it for insomnia but if you feel it helps you then it is your decision but I would not be your friend if I didn't share with you what I know about it. I am going to send you the information in another post about Seroquel. I am hoping you will take the time to read it and check it out for yourself because it is addictive but not in the sense narcotics are, but you can't stop it abruptly if you have been taking it very long.

I talked to Barbara tonight and she is doing much better and she should back to her old self shortly. I want to thank you for all your posts and tell you what a wonderful person I think you are and I do hope you know you have true friends here. We will be there for you and feel free to post as much as you like. I am hoping others will take the cue from all of us and know how liberating it is and that healing does occur from knowing people accept you just like you are.

I will be sending you information on Seroquel. You hang in there for we would all miss you. I think of you often and keep you in my prayers.

Deborah Shrira,CEO

Admin Number of posts : 95 Registration date : 2008-11-06

Dear Beth,

Because I truly care about you. There have been many lawsuits filed against Seroquel. Please never believe what the Doctors tell you. You are intelligent enough to take the time to research it for yourself. Are you bi-polar or do you have depression? If the depression is coming from outside soucrces the medication will not help only if it is coming from inside sources. Google Seroquel Lawsuits and take the time to read about them. I'm going to include some posts for you.

Seroquel Withdrawal

I've been on seroquel for about 2 years. My psych prescribed it for bi-polar but it made me sleepy, so he told me to take it at night for a sleep pill. I've been on 50 mg for every night for that two years. now i really want to get off it. the times i have missed a dose, i have been completely unable to sleep and then the next day have had the most amazing case of the all over itchies - but mostly in my feet.

I have been tapering off this time. i cut the 50's in half and then the now 25's in half. last night was my first time trying to sleep without any and I fell asleep around 5 this morning. I'm not working right now so that is ok, sort of, but the real, nasty problem is the itchies.

Does anyone have any experience with this? my doctor is in another state, we moved, and I haven't connected with anyone new yet, but i have always been bothered by the 'addictiveness' of this drug.

Thanks for any help you can give me.

cbh1964

You're doing it right by weaning down the way you are.You may find that you need to dose every other night and then every 3rd.Once you get to that point you should be able to stop.Good luck and be patient and let your body get used to the changes....Dave Suboxone Program Smile

What now? Hi There!
The question I have for you is what are you taking for your B.P now? Do you have a shrink yet? Are you noticing any changes apart from the itchiness? Im worried you could relapse and not have the medical support you need. I have found from personal experience that it is better to find a shrink when you are in a strong mental state. It's easier to pick the most capable for you, rather then being stuck with what you get in a weakened state of mind, you'll be desperate and settle. Search out a decent doctor that knows you before a relapse and can recongnise you for who you are not what you seem to become when you have a bad day.Good luck and I admire you for your courage keep up your strength and determination!!

Ive was on seroquel for about 9 or 10 months , I used to take 300mg at bedtime, but it never made me sleepy at all unfortunately. but I didnt go through any significant withdrawl symptoms.

I took seroquel for a long time. It stopped being effective for me. I don't recall being itchy at all but I remember having a "knocked out" feeling when I took my night dose. I was one 300 am 600 pm.

Hi there. I took Seroquel for about 1 year, a few years back. The withdrawal you are experiencing I experienced as well. I took it for insomnia and a few "'psychotic episodes" (I took Zoloft when I was younger and was prescribed too much so it imbalanced my serotonin levels.) At that time in my life my diagnosis as major depression disorder. I was on many different milligrams at different times of the day. At one point it was 100mg in the morning and 300mg at night. I decided one day I was sick of taking medication so I abruptly stopped taking celexa 25mg and seroquel 300mg. And I remember my ENTIRE body constantly being itchy, it was so uncomfortable. I would put baby powder over my entire body basically and it helped soothe the itching. So I know exactly what you are going through. My method for getting off the medication was obviously very dangerous. I hope you and your doctor are weening you off of it.

Goodluck Suboxone Program Smile

-Jamie

I've been taking seroquel since 2001. Highest dose was 300mg at night. While I have obsessive compulsive disorder, I think this drug was mainly for sleep as sleep has always been a problem for me. I also take celexa but am switching that to lexapro. I am down to 50mg of seroquel at bedtime and sometimes I have trouble sleeping. I want to get off of it alltogether and last night took 25mg. That's as small as I can cut the pill since I am starting with a 200mg pill. I am always tired and gained alot of weight. If I can stay at 25mg for a few weeks and do ok, I'm going to stop. I have gone back and forth with the dosage. If I have high anxiety and can't sleep, I'll take more. When I feel better I drop the dosage down. My doctor seems to want me to take this forever and I feel differently. I've never had the itch that you describe but maybe slow down your tapering schedule.

From Your Friend:

Please take the time to click and read it up on the medication. I can understand you may need it if you are bi-polar but I don't believe you should take it for sleep. I have talked to many people taking it which had much difficulty coming off of it besides it makes you gain weight and has many other side effects. I just believe you have enough problems with dealing with substance -abuse and with the responsibility of your children, this one could cause you problems later. The word I was trying to think of earlier it endogenous depression ( coming from within). Some of these medications may work for endogenous depression but not exogenous (from sources on the outside). They actually cause more harm than good. If you are depressed it is coming from an imbalance of chemicals from your addiction to opiates. It upset your dopamine level but it doesn't normally upset your serotonin level unless you are taking benzodiazepines, barbiturates or antidepressants. You need to find out just why she prescribed it and if was just for insomia-I believe I would confront her and ask her for something safer. You really don't to get messed up with another medication and for some reason most of the Psychiatrists really want to precribe this drugs. They tried to prescribe one for me but I knew about them and I did even more research at the time and I refused it. I am not telling you to refuse the medication because it may be what you need. I am just askingyou to educate yourself on it before you decide to stay on it.

There is much information on the Internet about it. I want you to read about the Side-Effects, Withdrawal and the Lawsuits. Take your time and read what is prescribed for. Do you have these conditions?

More information:

What is Seroquel?

29 Reviews		7.3	Rate it!

Seroquel is an antipsychotic medication. It works by changing the actions of chemicals in the brain.

Seroquel is used to treat the symptoms of psychotic conditions such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (manic depression).

Seroquel may also be used for purposes other than those listed in this medication guide.
Seroquel is not for use in psychotic conditions related to dementia. Seroquel may cause heart
Before you take Seroquel, tell your doctor if you have:

liver or kidney disease;
heart disease, high blood pressure, heart rhythm problems;
a history of heart attack or stroke;
a thyroid disorder;
seizures or epilepsy;
high cholesterol or triglycerides;
a personal or family history of diabetes; or
trouble swallowing
Read about the reviews. Click on 29 reviews.
What is Seroquel?

Seroquel is an antipsychotic medication. It works by changing the actions of chemicals in the brain.

Seroquel is used to treat the symptoms of psychotic conditions such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
Seroquel may also be used for purposes other than those listed in this medication guide.
Important information about Seroquel

Seroquel is not for use in psychotic conditions related to dementia. Seroquel may cause heart failure, sudden death, or pneumonia in older adults with dementia-related conditions. Stop using Seroquel and call your doctor at once if you have the following symptoms: fever, stiff muscles, confusion, sweating, fast or uneven heartbeats, uncontrolled muscle movements, symptoms that come on suddenly such as numbness or weakness, severe headache, and problems with vision, speech, or balance.

You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking an antidepressant, especially if you are younger than 24 years old. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

Call your doctor at once if you have any new or worsening symptoms such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself.

Before taking Seroquel

Seroquel is not for use in psychotic conditions that are related to dementia. Seroquel may cause heart failure, sudden death, or pneumonia in older adults with dementia-related conditions.

Before you take Seroquel, tell your doctor if you have:
liver or kidney disease;

heart disease, high blood pressure, heart rhythm problems;
a history of heart attack or stroke;
a thyroid disorder;
seizures or epilepsy;
high cholesterol or triglycerides;
a personal or family history of diabetes; or
trouble swallowing

If you have any of these conditions, you may not be able to use Seroquel, or you may need a dosage adjustment or special tests during treatment.
Seroquel may cause you to have high blood sugar (hyperglycemia). Talk to your doctor if you have any signs of hyperglycemia such as increased thirst or urination, excessive hunger, or weakness. If you are diabetic, check your blood sugar levels on a regular basis while you are taking Seroquel.
You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking an antidepressant, especially if you are younger than 24 years old. Tell your doctor if you have worsening symptoms of depression or suicidal thoughts during the first several weeks of treatment, or whenever your dose is changed.

Your family or other caregivers should also be alert to changes in your mood or symptoms. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

FDA pregnancy category C. This medication may be harmful to an unborn baby. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant during treatment. It is not known whether Seroquel passes into breast milk or if it could harm a nursing baby. Do not use Seroquel without telling your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby. Do not give Seroquel to anyone younger than 18 years old without the advice of a doctor.

Deborah Shrira,CEO

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Sun 11 Jan 2009, 10:30 pm

Hello Deborah,
I cannot believe the way that things have worked out for me, but maybe I should take it as timing, or the wrong timing.. I spent over three hours today responding to this post & actually kind of delving into some things, but when I tried to send it, it told me that the text was too big to post. I thought that I could maybe save it by copying it from here & placing it on Microsoft Works for the time being, then maybe try to copy it back to a "new" place as it wouldn't have all of the attached text as well. That didn't work for me either. Luckily, I was able to simply highlight my text & print it out, so I didn't have to lose everything that I'd written, but its gone now, other than my printed copy. Mad

I'd wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your lovely post as well as all of the information on the Seroquel. I've also been doing some research & have called my local pharmicist, who is a friend of mine, and I've pretty much decided that I am not going to even fill that rx. And it's expensive!! I am not bi-polar nor schizophrenic. I've dealt with depression issues before, but never at a time that I couldn't explain it by the situations around me, even if they were self induced. I have been diagnosed as epileptic as well as having "GAD" which is "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" but was put on Zoloft for Post Partum Depression & that seems to help me some with the anxiety issues. I was prescribed Valium & Zanax for many years, but when I started the Subs, my doctor really scared me about taking the benzos with Subs. It was hard to stop both at virtually the same time & my anxiety is still an issue for me. Just trying to find a better way to get through it..
I have to keep this short tonight as I've been on here for several hours now, even though my long post to you is gone into computer world! I am thankful that I have the printed copy though & its not all completely lost! Wink

Thank you again, Deborah, for all of your work to keep this going!! I think about you often throughout the days & have come to rely on my friends on this forum!!
Love Your Friend,
Bethy I love you

Admin Number of posts : 95 Registration date : 2008-11-06

Dear Beth:
I thought I would drop you a line to let you know I have done the exact sme thing you have. It told me my post was too large. I just cut some of it until it allowed me to send it but I did get angry after I had written it. I guess you and I both write too much. (I have no problem with it but it has happened to me.)

I don't ever want you to make your decisions based on what I say, but I have spoke to many people on Seroquel and some of the other anti-depressants.I have done some research on them and I believe the physicians write for them too causally without really even knowing the outcome they have on many people. I don't think they ever take the time to read what patients are saying about them after they have started taking them and had so much trouble coming off of them. They did to take a look at all the lawsuits against the medication. I have a whole notebook with nothing but complaints from patients about Seroquel. Patients wrote about how it affected them and how much trouble they had coming off them and of the weight gain they caused.

Psychiatrists seem to be the worse about prescribing them and most of their information comes from the Drug Representatives from the manufacturer making the drug. You know they aren't going to say anything really bad about their drug. Many doctors in the past received kick-backs for writing many prescriptions from a certain company, like Astra-Zeneca, who makes Seroquel. If the Doctor wrote alot of prescriptions for the drug they would receive kick-backs in the form of money and gifts from the manufacturer. They passed a law stopping all this but I have no doubts some of it is still continuing.

I just want you to read about especially moreso what the patients taking it says and look up Seroquel Lawsuits. I do expect you to listen to your physician and the patients and read what has been written about the medication and then form your own conclusion. It is my opinion based on the research I have done. I do know they will not hep any depression iof it is coming from exogenous (outside sources). I don't believe they should ever give a person Seroquel to help them sleep because there are better and less dangerous drugs to give.

I do have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I can relate to you. I took tranquilizers all my life off and on. I did develop problems with Xanax but it did help me tremendously but they didn't want me taking it with methadone so then I had to make a choice. It took me a year to taper off of them and it wasn't easy at all but I really need them and now I am trying to find a Doctor who will let me take both of them because it was all that helped me with my back spasms. I don't ever want you to think I am telling you what to do because I would never do that. I just didn't know whether you were aware of all that was going on with Seroquel and I just wanted to inform you and ask you to consider reading about it before taking it.

There is so much information I want to put on here and add to my websites especially the new one but it takes time with only me putting it all on but I have applied for more Grants and just hopefully I can obtain more help because I want my members educated and I want them to become healthy mentally and emotionally because it is very important because if we learn we can spread the word.

I just can't find enough hours in the day to get everything done. I spent almost until lunch today trying to have the clinic I am at now transfer my paperwork to the clinic I am thinking about transferring to. I went back and forth from one clinic to the other and then my fax machine wouldn't receive their Release Of Information Form I had to sign and fax to my clinic. I had to have them fax it to Printing Impressions and thank God, Dean went and picked it up for me and brought it Home. I signed it and faxed it to my clinic so she could fax the information to the clinic I want to transfer to. I had to keep calling both offices back and forth and I really thought they were going to lose their temper with me but they didn't.

I just wanted you to know I do appreciate you taking the time to write and just know I am concerned you receive the financial help you need. Please keep in touch and let me know what the doctors are saying. If I can help you let me know.

I will leave you with this one thought.

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you." Author Uknown

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Mon 12 Jan 2009, 8:50 pm

Hello Dear Deborah, queen

First off, I really enjoyed your closing thought, about God has thought of something better for you. I fully believe that, as I've made oh-so-many plans that haven't worked out the way that I wanted, but more the way that I needed them to go. Have you ever heard that old song about "Thank God For Unanswered Prayers" - it may've been a country song?? Randy Travis? I'm not a big country music lover, but those lyrics have stuck in my head for years!! scratch

About my lost post, yes, it was most likely way too long!! Rolling Eyes

As you know me & how I tend to go on & on about things... Also, as I reread through it again last night (thankfully, I'd printed out a hard copy before I lost it!), but after going through it, I'm happy to have waited before posting it to the wrong location too. It turned out to be much more of my story than what I'd first intended when starting to reply to your post. Last night when I was re-reading through it, there were 4 pages of text!! Definately way too long!! Wink

But you know what, Deborah, I feel thankful to have found this forum & to feel comfortable enough to share these things with friends like you, Dee & Ms. Barbara, as well as the continual growth of new members everyday!! As I've said, I really rely on these friends here throughout my days as they fill me with hope, encouragement & strength that I need in my recovery!! I feel better than ever & I credit much of my renewed hope obviously to the Suboxone, but also, to this forum & these friends!! Very Happy

I will thank you everyday for your constant hard work & effort to keep this place up & going!! Idea

Your an incredible woman Deborah, thank you! I love you

Talk with you soon! Wink

Love Your Grateful Friend,
Bethy I love you

Admin Number of posts : 95 Registration date : 2008-11-06

Dear Beth,

I really love sharing with you, Beth. You and I have one thing in common we both write long posts. I wanted to thank you for the compliment about the forum but I just brought it up. You, Dee and Barbara got it going and I am including you. I am glad you have the ability to let it out and share with us and you would make a great Moderator. I will keep you in mind if I need to anyone else. (I'm really serious.)

It has really been all of you along with Dee and Barbara who had made it a success. I don't have the time to spend like they do but I wish so much I did because I believe we have a great group of people here. We have new members joining us every day and I am hoping we are all getting something out of it.

I wanted to ask you about when you had to stop taking the Valium and Xanax...did you have any withdrawal symptoms? What was the symptoms you had if you don't mind sharing them with me. I withdrew from Xanax but I tapered off of it over one year but I had some bad withdrawal and I'm not sure I'm not still sufffering from some of it. Did you ever have the jerks -I don't know how to explain but all of a sudden a part of your body would jump. They were the worst but I wondered if it was just me. I had never had withdrawal like that from opiates. I will be waiting to hear from you.

Yes, I have heard the song you are talking about even though I am not a country music lover either but I like some of all of it. If God had answered some of the prayers I prayed --my life would really be bad today. You know how to really make my day and I do thank you for all the nice things you say. There are days I feel like all my work is in vain but it is nice to know someone does appreciate it. I know Barbara and Dee appreciate it. You see how much power your words have. People just don't stop and think how powerful the words they use are. I always print them and on the days I want to quit I take my notebook down and read what all I have printed out from people like you. It always changes my mind.

I thank you for sharing your life with us and I wish all of the members could open up and talk because we have accepted all of them. I am not going to let anyone ridicule you and especially because you are taking medication. If they come here and say you aren't in recovery because you take Suboxone or Methadone--I will boot them out. Addiction is a Disease and maybe some of us can make it without medication but I am not one of them. They can't anyone say it didn't totally change my whole life because it did. I wouldn't be here today if I had not found methadone. I am sure Suboxone would have worked if it had been out when I started.

Now, I must take it for pain control as well as addiction. I just thank God for it and we have our own Narcotics Anonymous Meetings here. I know we are not switching one drug for another and it is going to be the core of my new website. There are so many people who still are not aware Addiction Is A Disease. I must keep on trying to get the word out. I know methadone helped me and it gave me a new lease on life.

I better get back to work but I wanted you to know,"You are an incredible person." I thank God for the pleasure of getting to know you. You keep me updated.

Deborah

Subject: Re: Suboxone Program Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:31 pm

Hello Dear Deborah!!
As always, thank you for your lovely post!! I love reading your messages as your so full of hope, as well as knowledge! That's just my cup of tea, love! Wink

I also thank you for your kind words to me. Sometimes, I feel like I put so much out there as I'm writing my posts that I have to wonder about myself.. Embarassed

How could I have done some of those things? How can I even admit such things, much less put them out there in black & white for the world to see?? Yet, the truth is that it's liberating, as well as freeing me from the ties, the embarassment caused by the past. I'm finally starting to be able to let these things go as I'm creating a better path, a better life all around, for me & those around me!! I'm feeling like I'm starting to reap the benefits of what I've sown.. As I also did reap what I sowed in the past as well, it was never good, as I wasn't living my life the "right" way!

These days, by doing things the right way, its starting to come back around!!

Things that make you go hmmm... Idea

LOL! I've really been feeling pretty well lately. There are always things here & there that just "pop up" out of nowhere, but usually disappear just as fast!! I've noticed that as these type of things do come up, my best response has been to talk to Matt about how I'm feeling or to come onto here & try to get it out. Especially, as I said, it helps me to be able to see it in black & white.. And as Ms. Barbara always says, "A problem talked about is a problem half solved!" I get such great feedback from here & have found true friends that I care so much about!! As well as there being people here that care about me & my well being! As I'm sure you've noticed throughout life, there are many more hands outreached to you in your lifetime that will pull you down, rather than trying to help pull you up & out of a mess!! I'm feeling fortunate to have come across these such hands while here..
Regarding your question about my experience withdrawling from the Valium & Zanax.. To put it blunt, it was horrible! I'd been on it for around 8-10 years, then to just abruptly stop taking it, well it was hell!!

Yes, I did have the sudden "jerky" feelings that your referring to, as well as trembling & literally feel like I had no control over those muscle spasms. I'll still be laying there comfortably at night, getting ready to fall asleep & all of a sudden, my body will "jump" to the point of waking me right back up!! When I first stopped taking them, I had those jumpy feelings all the time, now its becoming less & less often. But, I also had an all over uncomfortable feeling, like I didn't even know how to relax in my own skin, very high anxiety. I couldn't stand how I felt most of the time. It was obviously physical, but very mental as well. Everything seemed like such a big deal all of a sudden & if this makes any sense, I felt "raw!" Like everything or anything was just grating on my nerves.. I still deal with these feelings of discomfort at times, but am hoping & trying to be able to get by without any more meds for it.
I hope that helped answer your question. If you have any symptom specifically & let me know what your feeling, I'd be happy to let you know if I went through it as well & what I did to handle it..
I have to get going back to my babies. They are climbing the walls, trying to be able to stay awake & its time for Mama to go lay down the law!! Wink

Thanks again Deborah!! queen

Look forward to talking with you more soon! Wink

Love Your Friend,
Bethy I love you

» 2010 changes to the Patient Assistance Program for Suboxone
» New to Here To Help Program-Got a question
» Radio Program
» Radio Program Tonight !
» Tonights Radio Program