Here We Go AGAIN

Subject: Here We Go AGAIN Mon 27 Jun 2011, 2:35 pm

[i][b]

I can't even believe I'm back on this merry go round.... Evil or Very Mad

I called to get my Suboxone filled. I have to do it every 2 weeks. They said I needed a PA since my dosage was increased....Are you kidding me?
I went thru the whole spill and they insist that the Dr. office did not show the increase. I had called the Ins. about this 2 weeks ago and they assured me it was taken care of.

The lady at the Ins. was very nice and I lost my cool. I tried to stay calm and she kept saying the same thing over and over again.

Bottom line is....I had to buy a few till this new PA comes in and that's if the Ins. will approve it.
I had got a letter saying it was approved but it seems that doesn't mean anything.

I can't even begin to tell you how frustrated I'am over this. Does it ever end? I'm constantly thrown into stress mode over this,CONSTANTLY.
I actually thought this morning....Is this worth it?

I of course tried to call the Dr. office and no one answers and no one ever calls back. I'll give it till tomorrow and will have to go to the Dr. office and see if I can get them to do this right this time.

Thanks for letting me share. I'm just terribly frustrated and really at my wits end. A person can only take so much and I feel this is enough.

Marie

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:04 pm

Good morning Marie,
I had written a response to your post yesterday but it somehow has gone into lala land.
I have to head out for my counseling appointment but when I get back I will re-post.
I swear, I don't know what happens with these posts when they dissapear. Maybe the forum did a time out on me. I know that if you have been idle for an hour that will happen. I had a lot going on yesterday so that could be what happened.
I'll be back

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Tue 28 Jun 2011, 1:04 pm

Oh Marie!!

I am so sorry to hear that you are STILL having these issues with your doctor & insurance company. I was all excited after I read your post about getting some of your money reimbursed after fighting the insurance company to get what was yours all along. Then today after reading this, I just want to give you a big, tight squeezy hug & let you know that IT IS WORTH IT! Yet, I really do feel your frustration as I have also gone through a similar experience with one of the many poor providers that I have managed to locate along my journey of trying to find THE ONE! (and still trying to find... not very successfully thus far either!) I cannot understand your doctor at all or why his office does not answer their telephone. Why bother having a phone system if they choose to not even use it? Question

How frustrating this all is on you & the stress that it all causes is not fair to your recovery at all! Evil or Very Mad

I hate to hear that you are still trying to get this all settled when it should have all been handled the very first appointment & yet, here you are, still fighting for your recovery, for your life! I just continue trying to remind myself that God only gives us what we can handle, but I am having a difficult time trying to convince myself of that as well!! I will continue to keep you in my prayers & hope that this too shall pass...

I hate to keep this so short, but I have to take my daughter to a dr. appt.- therefore I am trying to get out the door at the moment, but I wanted you to know that I am here for you & thinking of you throughout your hardest times! Please try to hang in there as best as possible & remember that you are never alone! Like a Star @ heaven

Love your friend,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Tue 28 Jun 2011, 1:16 pm

[i][b]

Thanks Beth.
I think we must have been both posting at the same time....LOL

Thanks for your encouraging words. I know I keep thinking the same,that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. He must really think I can continue doing this but I really need HIM to come to my rescue.

I know you have your hands full with the kids and I appreciate you dropping by.
How's your lil one with the broken arm?

Love,
Marie I love you

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Tue 28 Jun 2011, 6:32 pm

It will end Marie, and yes it will be worth it. Like you said, the lord won't give us any more than we can handle. So the way I see it, you must be one of his strongest.

Did you make it to the Doctors office today?
When the insurance company sent you the paperwork letting you know that your PA had gone through, did it have the right amount on that paper? It should have the name of the medication, the type (film strips or tablets) Strength, how many for how many days.
It should also have the time period of the Authorization. From date starting to date ending.
Do you have a copy of the Prior Authorization form to take along with you so they will have one in case they don't have one on hand. Just to cover your bases.

I really hate seeing this happening to you over and over again. It's like they want you to give up or they just don't care. One patients money is just as good as anothers.
As hard as it is, don't let this get to you. I know it must be hard though. Just when you think you are in the clear, wham! Something else to worry about.

As Beth said, you are not alone. Never! We are here always for you.
I wish I could think of something to say that would make things better or easier for you. I know that whatever I say, won't be the solution though. Keep yourself strong and you will get through this.
Dee

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Wed 29 Jun 2011, 10:33 pm

[i][b]
I called the Ins. this morning and of course the Dr. office did not send the PA.
So,they said they would send the PA to them directly. I guess I'll give it another day and go back up there,AGAIN.

I'm so frustrated and now feel it takes everything for me to not get angry over nothing.

When I see the Dr. in 2 weeks I have to talk to him about this. I don't want or need to go thru this everytime it's time for my refill. He is also making it more difficult with the Ins. with not doing it once a month. I'm sure he does this so you don't have as many pills/strips at one time. He needs to understand it's not just about him and how he wants to run things. The Ins. have there rules they go by as well.

This is not any better,in fact worse than when I was always looking for the pain pills. I thought that was to be the end of it when I started this.
When I was taking the pain pills never once did I have to deal with the Ins.,Pharmacy, and a office staff that has no desire in helping you.

I know I'm ranting and I'm sorry about that...I'm just burnt out on this.

Marie

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:26 am

Marie,
It's okay to vent.
I was thinking about your doctor though. It could be that he is not aware of what is going on with the staff. He hires them and depends on them to do their jobs and part of their job is taking care of PA and stuff like that.
But he should have known that when he increased your dose, he would need to do another PA unless he doesn't normally deal with it.
Again that would fall on the staff.
Not making any excuses for him though. As your provider he does have certain responsibilities.

From past history I don't think the doctors office is going to do anything unless you hold their hand every step of the way. And that is a load of @#%$
I hope this works out for you soon. With the holiday weekend coming up you need to be able to put this behind you and enjoy yourself.
Any plans for the 4th?

I'm going to cook Sunday and we will have a couple of family members over. But that is about it. I don't get out on the roads any more during holidays. Too much traffic and stuff going on.
I do have to stop by my providers office tomorrow and gently remind them to call my medication over to the pharmacy since it is a holiday coming up and they will be closed.
I probably don't need to worry since they are pretty good about it, but I just want to be and stay safe.

Have a good day Marie, Talk to you soon.

Beth,
Where are you? I hope things are going well with you. You are missed.

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:02 am

Hello friends!!

How are you all doing today? I am hanging in there- just seem to be having one of those days, I guess. I feel frustrated by things that are feeling out of my control right now & even though there are no big differences with anything compared to yesterday or the day before, its how I am feeling inside. I am sure that you have all gone through this little roller coaster of emotions as well at some point in your journey of recovery also. I am just having guilt & many mixed emotions about… well just life in general, I guess. My oldest daughter has been back home with me, yet we are still a Mother & teenager trying to see “eye to eye” and I just don’t think that scenario even exists. I am trying hard to be a good Mother while still trying to remain or keep an open line of communication between us. It feels like a tight rope that I am trying to do back flips on & not very well either. I want to lock her up in her room & keep these boys that she is sure that she NEEDS to have around kept far, far away! I realize that this is not realistic & have to let her have some space, yet also not feel like I am getting walked on either. Then in the meantime, I am trying to tend to these kiddos that seem to require 100% of my attention as well & keep this household together. I know that this doesn’t sound so bad & it really is not, yet I am struggling with it all at the moment. I have been trying to get an appointment with another Provider & am having no luck with that situation thus far. They are either seeing the maximum capacity of patients that they can treat or they do not take my insurance or are so far away that I don’t know how I would be able to keep up with the appointments & counseling, etc. I am also just running ragged with appointments for my children at the moment with having the broken elbow, immunizations for starting school & had to take my oldest to the female doctor for the first time yesterday which seems to be what is eating me up, at least in part. I am trying to choose the lesser of two evils by getting her protected, but also feel as if she now feels like I condone her actions & I DO NOT. Yet, I am trying to be realistic & if it is going to happen, then I cannot stop it, but I can try to protect her from the dangers of what boys can give girls & vice versa when they are doing these things at this age. Or any age really, but as a child, (young woman) I am still trying to keep her under my protective wing that us Mothers instinctively do. I really do realize that she is going to be 16 in November, but it doesn’t prevent me from seeing her as my baby girl either. I feel like I have made the right choice, but of course, I then have my own Mother who strongly disagrees with me & wants me to lock her away in a dungeon throughout her high school career. I know firsthand that way does not work as I had to go through that with her & had to lie & go around her & what does that help? It only promoted rebellion on my part & that is the very last thing that I want to create with this relationship between my own daughter & I. Sorry to ramble on about this for so long, but I just pray that I am making the right choices with her. She is a wonderful young woman, but still a teenager. She is very manipulative & can play my Mom & I very well against each other, I believe. A typical teenager… I can only continue to pray that this too shall pass. The younger kids are doing well- just very cranky tonight & working on my frayed nerves, which is not their fault in the least. It is just me today. I am feeling very overwhelmed & unable to cope with all of these emotions that I am feeling these days. I feel like a juggler with too many balls in the air & having that dreadful feeling that one of them is going to drop at any given moment. I am hoping that this is just one of those moments that will pass me by with a good nights sleep.

Now that I have complained for well over my limit about nothing really too life shattering, I need to get out of myself & ask how you are all doing with the situations in your life that are causing your own issues. I am going to close this up on this note as I am not very positive tonight & do not want to spread the negativity. Plus, my computer keeps knocking me off of the Internet, so thank God that I have been writing this on Word & hopefully can copy it over if I can get hooked back up.

I will talk to all tomorrow in much better spirits hopefully!! Thank you for listening to me vent about my emotions & I wish you all a wonderful night’s sleep!

Your Friend,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:43 am

Good morning to all!!

Marie, how are things going for you today? Have you had any luck yet with your doctor’s lack of properly written prescriptions or even getting through to his office that does not ever seem to answer their telephones? If you have, has your Humana finally gotten the proper information that they require to actually pay for your entire month’s supply of your Suboxone? I sure hope that this has gotten better for you within the last couple of days since I have last read your post about thinking that it had all been worked out & then you going to the pharmacy where they denied you your medication due to improper paperwork, yet once again? I completely know how frustrating this all must be for you & how it works you up into an absolute ball of nerves & causing you to be angry that IT IS this hard to try to obtain help with your recovery when those same doctors were able to prescribe you the narcotics with no questions asked that has gotten you (and all of us) into this predicament. That is my soap box story & I could go on & on about this issue as it angers me to no end that this is the way that this system works. In my own personal opinion, if a doctor has the “privileges” from the DEA to write prescriptions for the narcotics which are proven to be habit forming & knowing full well from throughout their years of schooling that people DO become physically (as well as mentally) dependant upon these medications, then they should be required to take the mere 10 hour course to learn how to handle this situation when it arises with one or more of their patients & to be legally able to write the prescription for the Suboxone to prevent patients from having to go through the hell of becoming dependant, yet when you do go to your trusted doctor with this information (or they figure it out on their own due to noticing the “symptoms” of dependency that they learned all about throughout those eight-plus years of medical school) well then, you (the patient) is placed into a different category & your doctor can no longer write you the narcotics that brought us to this point, but instead choose to drop us as a patient BC it is too high of a liability for them to keep us on this medication & they can not take that risk. I can understand that they can no longer write the prescription for the narcotics when they know that we have become dependant on them, but by dropping us as a patient surely does NOT make that dependency go away. Therefore, the patient is now left all alone with a dependency & has to turn to addictive actions to obtain the medications that they are now left without, which in turn leads normally law abiding citizens to having to break the law to somehow obtain the meds that their body is used to having in it everyday. Yet, throughout all these years of schooling, what are 10 more hours to become certified to be able to treat these patients with this “miracle medication” of Suboxone to prevent the patient from having to turn to these addictive behaviors & get the help that they need to prevent the whole “addiction” aspect of the situation & actually give the patient a shot at not having to go at it all alone, but with the helping hand of the physician who has been treating them all along & knows the patient & their history? The whole “addiction” part of the equation COULD be eliminated & the patient would not have to turn to other sources to try to get this medication that our brains now fully need due to the chemistry changes that occur by taking these types of meds everyday. I realize that it is not as easy as what I am trying to make it all sound, but upon watching a special on MSNBC “Crime: Prescription Medications”, our country is in a full blown epidemic of prescription drug abuse & there needs to be a solution to be put into action to help prevent the situations that we have all been placed in by having been on these type of medications & how to safely go about getting off of them so that the millions of people whose lives have been affected by this pill epidemic can go about living a normal life once again, without the anchor of addiction always waiting just below the surface, trying to pull us back under as we are choking for fresh breaths of air, just trying to get our brains back to being healed as we once were before becoming addicted to these narcotics. Like I said, I know that it is much easier said than done, but I fully believe that something needs to be done to help this epidemic, but even more so, the people who have already been placed into this hellish situation without even realizing it until it is too late. Do our jails really need to be filled with people who have a drug addiction that could be prevented? Do our souls really need to be tormented by the guilt of where addiction takes us when we no longer know where to turn since our doctor has dropped us due to being too much of an insurance liability? The only real answer that I can foresee for those of us who are already in the “quicksand” of this addiction is recovery & the good Lord above knows how hard we are trying to make it along this journey to remain in active recovery. Marie, I know that I have just written you my “soap box” of opinions & once again, I didn’t mean to get onto such a ramble. Yet, like you have mentioned, it is so much easier to get the narcotics from your doctors & have your insurance company pay for them than anywhere close to the difficulty it is to locate a Provider to help pull you out of the dilemma that we are now in. All I can say is that you are one tough cookie who truly desires to be in recovery & your determination despite the set backs that you are facing is proof of how badly you want to be well. I applaud you on your efforts & can only try to encourage you to continue to fight for what you truly want, which we both know is recovery & you are taking it & fighting, round after round, to get to where it is you want to be in your life! What more can anyone ask for from you? I know that it is tiring & often times seems like we are never going to get there or get the help that we truly need, but for me personally, I have to believe that God is going to continue to take care of me & keep up my strength to keep on fighting this battle! But it is very scary just by not knowing that we are indeed covered with having our medication & a doctor that can & will continue to prescribe it, as well as having the means or insurance to be able to pay for it. I truly hope that your situation has gotten resolved & that you are able to actually relax about it all now. I have the same hopes for myself while trying to locate a new provider & cannot wait for the day that I do not have to worry about running out of my medication before I am able to locate another doctor. Please let me know how things are going along for you & as I will continue to remind you, you are never alone!! As Dee said in her above post, I realize that there is not much that we can do for you from here other than to be of good support & keeping sending positive vibes your way! I hope that everything is finally coming together with all of this, yet once again!

Hi Dee- trying to hang in there & just get through it all yet once again as well! How are you feeling? Are things going okay with your family issues? I wanted to tell you that Matt mentioned to me that he may have to go up to Vermont to do some work, but is not sure of the dates quite yet. We are sure hoping that it is before school starts back up BC he would like us to come with him as he knows how badly I want to be able to get together with you. That would be a long ago answered prayer! How are things going with the job search? Did you hear anything more about that administrative position that you had mentioned? I hope that it is all working out for you & your family. Please keep me in the loop of how it is all going.

I hope that everyone has a great day & that everything goes as well as it possibly can for you all!!

Your Friend,
Beth I love you

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Thu 30 Jun 2011, 3:29 pm

Beth, I am keeping you in my prayers not only for you to find a provider that will be able to take you on as a patient but that you and Nadine are able to work through all that is going on.
Nadine is a good girl Beth. I think about my niece (she is also 15) and what is going on with them right now and I look at your young one and I know the two of you will get through this. Without locking her in a dungeon and throwing away the key.
I know that I wasn't there when my girls were growing up and I regret that everyday. I do have Kris though and can honestly say that not every young man has the desire to do what he will with the girls. I remember last year when he met a girl who was a little older than he was. That was a nightmare. I felt like I had lost him, every waking moment was spent on the phone with her even when they weren't talking she was on the phone. If I needed to talk to him about something she would get mad and accuse him of not caring about her.
She was a piece of work she was. When he finally was able to break free of her it was so hard on him. He didn't want to be with her but he didn't want to be away from her either. She was his first love.
And even now a year later if I see her walking down the street she goes out of her way to say mean things to me.

Nadine will be fine. You are a good mom and she knows you only want whats best for her. Kids now days have kind of a code at that age. As much as they love us, they still want to test the waters.
There was a time when Kris wouldn't tell me he loved me in front of his friends let alone give me a hug. But one of his friends told him that he didn't care who thought or said what he loved his mom and was going to show it no matter what or where he was.
After that Kris kind of let go and now it doesn't matter where we are or who is around. He calls me Momay' and doesn't hesitate to hug me often.

If you were to come to Vermont, I don't care what part I would do what I could to get to you. That would be great. In fact it would be wonderful to finally after these past couple of years put a face to you my friend.
I wish that somehow we could all arrange to meet one day. Next year the ATTOD Convention is going to be held in Las Vegas and I want to try to make it there. The cost is a large factor but I have family there so that would cut down on the hotel.
I see great things ahead for everyone. Keep our heads high and hopes in the sky.
Have a great day!

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Sat 02 Jul 2011, 2:24 pm

Sorry,I've not been back to say hey to everyone.

I have something as usual to tell you guys and tell me what you think,please.

I still haven't gotten the approval for the increase but they paid for the amount before the increase. I had gone Monday and bought a few. I was expecting them to take out the amount I bought when I picked up my 2 week supply paid by the Ins. They gave me the full amount. I wasn't sure if I should have taken them back or just stay quiet. I put them aside in case they come back to say they want them back. I don't know if they can even do that after 3 days. I felt like I was being dishonest not telling them. I figure I'll keep them aside in case I run into a problem. I'm certain at some time something will come up and it would be good to have those. On the other hand I feel like I'm not being honest.

I was at my total end of stress yesterday. Good thing i don't like nerve pills b/c i sure could have used one yesterday. There is family drama going on and some of it has to do with drugs. It's amazing how when u clean and you watch the drama around someone using can just stress the hell out of you. Anything that involves my grandson puts me over the deep end. Between that,my husband and this whole ordeal with the Ins. and Dr. office just came to a head. I really thought I'd not make it thru the day.
I've noticed lately that I'm angry over ANYTHING
This is so not me and I hate the feeling that goes with it.

Anyway,since this is a holiday weekend and the Ins. and Dr. office is closed I'm trying to put that aside,but,it's still in the back of my mind. We preparing for Kristy to come home. We are pulling carpet up and painting the room she will take. I want her to be as comfy as possible so she has a place to go to that will be her place till she is able to get her a job and on her feet.
She is also a great source of support for me. Other than you gals she is all I have b/c not many know I'm on the Suboxone.

Beth,how are things going? Do u still have your daug. with you? How are the lil ones?

Dee,how you feeling?

I hope you all have a great holiday weekend.
Thank you for always being here for me....

Love to you all
Marie I love you

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Sun 03 Jul 2011, 11:55 am

Good morning Marie,
It could be that the pharmacy didn't make a mistake on your medication. Is there a chance that you have another prescription that you forgot about. One that you may have had before the insurance company started paying for the Suboxone?
It could be they made a mistake but also very unlikely. Things are so computerized these days. Suboxone is highly controlled in the way of accountability. Actually all medications are within the pharmacy system. I know mistakes happen and if this was one, it will come up on there end when they do their monthly inventory or how ever often they do the inventory count.
Did you look on the bottle where it says "refills" what does that say? Do you have any or does the doctor give you refills on your prescription?
If the pharmacy took what the insurance company will pay for our of your Rx it may say that you have X number of tablets left on the original Rx.
If it's a mistake on their end, I doubt it will come back to you but it's clear that you are struggling with this.
The Marie in recovery wants to ask the pharmacy about it and the addict Marie wants to not say anything.

I can't tell you what to do in this situation.

I'm not sure if the insurance company will authorize more tablets per month even though the doctor raised your dose. I am on State Medicaid up here and we are only allowed 16 mg per day. If the doctor says we can take more it would be on the patient to pay the rest.
Some insurance companies have limits set like that. In the case of Humana I'm not sure how it works as I couldn't find anything on it in their drug plan.

You don't talk much about your husband. Is everything okay there? How is he doing with the whole addiction/recovery thing?

Having your daughter there with you will be good for you. Having someone else to talk with does help.
How is your son doing with his own problems and his wife?

I hope you have a good 4th of July holiday. One that is full of peace, and family. Have fun with your grandson, I have a feeling that is what you will be doing.
Check in when you can.
Things around here are quiet and I am happy about that. The family isn't calling. Funny thing about this family though. Like a lot of other families, I only hear from them when they need something. So I'm guessing that things are okay with all of them for now.
I called my mother in law yesterday to see how they were doing up that way and she couldn't wait to get off the phone. I'm not sure how I feel about that but at least it's quiet.
Enjoy your day!

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Sun 03 Jul 2011, 6:25 pm

[b][i]
Hey Dee,
Funny you would ask about my husband..except nothing funny about it.
We've been married for 27yrs. in a couple of days. The past 5 years have been really bad. I don't like to complain about him b/c he is a good provider,he's not abusive (physically) and EVERYBODY just loves him and is always saying what a wonderful guy he is. Maes me nuts.
Things were starting to get bad before we moved back to La. that was about 7yrs. ago. We moved back and then Hurricane Katrina came along and lots happened after that. My Mom lived with us and died and then last year his Dad died his mom had a stroke right after that. She's fine now but he is not the kind of guy that shows his emotions. He made a choice for us to no longer sleep together anymore and moved into the guest bedroom.. It took me a good year to deal with that one. It's been over 2 yrs now.
I'm sure he is tired of the addiction. He has hung in there but he is no longer supportive in the way I need. I'm on my own with that. He's always in a bad mood and has no problem being ugly to me. Basically,it's terrible emotional abusive. We've talked about going our own way but really we can't financially offered to do that. So,basically we are still together for money reasons. I've told him many times that he has issues he needs to deal with but when he really gets up against the wall he blames my addiction. I don't think he really cares anymore if I use or I don't use.
I could go on and on with our issues. It breaks my heart things have gotten to where there are. I'm the only one doing the talking. He has nothing to talk about or will not talk about. I go to theraphy tomorrow and i think that's the first issue we need to talk about. Yes,my therapist is open on July 4th. Don't know why but he texted me to say he would be out here if I wanted to see him.

During all this nonsense with the Dr.'s and Ins. and just couldn't get how any of this was true. I pulled somethings up on the internet for him to see how many Dr. only want cash. The whole issue with the Ins. he doesn't get either. I don't get it either but it is what it is for now.

When I was taking the pills i guess I was dealing with it but now that I'm not and it's a whole different ball game. With Kristy coming back home I'm hooping she will be able to talk to him. He listens to alot of what she ahs to say but I don't want her to have to get involved either.

So,Dee,I bet you sorry you asked about my husband....LOL

I've not felt well today. My Lupus is showing it's ugly head and we trying to get things ready for Kristy moving furniture around and painting and such. We've not done well with that very good either.
Stress is just getting the best of me. I don't remember being in such stress in years. Trying to stay clean and dealing with stress is really hard.

I'll write in a lil bit about my son and his family. Another messed up situation.
I have always hated drama and it's every damn where.

I hope everyone will have a good weekend.

Love,
Marie

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Sun 03 Jul 2011, 9:46 pm

Thanks for talking to me Marie,

I'm glad for you that you are going to give the counseling a try I wish that you could find one that accepts your insurance though. One that you can connect with.
Your addiction is not to blame for all of your husbands problems. I'm sure it has some to do with some of the stuff that is going on. But not all.
He does have some issues and a lot of men don't like to talk about what is bothering them. It is easier when one of you in an addict. The addiction can take the blame. The problem with that is that it piles a whole lot more guilt on your head and you have enough of that yourself.

I don't understand the whole cash thing either. Doctors and therapists seem to take insurance for other types of treatment so why not addiction treatment or therapy? It should not be that way and to be honest I don't think it is exactly legal either. But how are ya going to prove it?

So, in other words you and your husband are more like roommates right now right? I'm sorry to hear about the emotional abuse. To me it's worse than physical and the scars run much deeper.
I hope things work out, I really do. I did ask and I'm glad you feel comfortable in talking about it. It's a big step and you are an amazing woman, keep telling yourself that. You need to believe it as it is true.
I'll close this up as it is getting late. I got up really early today and feel like I just want to crawl into bed.
Sleep well,
Dee

Subject: Re: Here We Go AGAIN Tue 05 Jul 2011, 12:36 pm

Hello friends!!

I have a million things that I need to catch up with you all on, but I am also running out the door to go get Matty's elbow x-rayed once again. I will try my hardest to get back onto here tonight to catch up. I hope that you all had a great holiday w-end & will be talking to you soon!

Your Friend,
Beth I love you