Scorpio Horoscope

Subject: Scorpio Horoscope Wed 08 Dec 2010, 10:48 am

Your Daily Horoscope Scorpio

This may be one of those days when you feel completely alone even if there are hundreds of people around, Scorpio. No one seems to understand your perspective. Your incredible sensitivity and emotionalism is putting you in a category all your own. Try not to ostracize yourself from the group. Reach out instead of pulling away. You have more in common with other people than you think.

I would never normally ever copy a Horoscope to put onto the forum, but today when I read this, I felt compelled to share it. For a few different reasons that seemed to "hit home" with me & got me pondering about how alone you can feel throughout addiction & sometimes even throughout recovery. There are days that I feel completely alone, even though I am not, its still the feeling that I have. I feel very lonely many days or rather desiring a friend that truly understands me & my situation that I could go & do things with once in awhile. I have "friends" that I talk to & occasionally get together with, but not like the friends that I have right here on this forum as they actually CAN understand the gumption that it took me to remain in recovery, despite how I felt at that point in my new recovery. No one could understand how badly that I wish that I lived closer to the members of this forum that I have truly grown to love & have become my best friends. Now mind you this forum is the first & ONLY forum that I have ever belonged to & it felt great to "belong" with people just like myself. I thought that I was all alone with this disease of addiction to opiates. I didn't know another single soul that was an opiate addict that was in recovery. I was very alone & my recovery was extremely rough to actually remain in all alone. Now please mind you that I also live with 5 other people who are my family ("hubby" 3 kids & father in law which is a long story just in itself) & I am currently a stay at home Mama, except for waitressing on Sunday afternoons & I don't even know how long that will actually last... But I am sure that many of you have heard that description of being "terminally unique" and that is a VERY, very lonely place to be. I feel very lucky to have figured out that I was indeed NOT terminally unique- that there is an entire forum of people who were just like me with my disease & with an extremely heavy load of regrets, shame, guilt, pain & the list goes on... yet somehow they had figured out a way to put those things behind them in their pasts & have gone on with their lives WITHOUT using...? I had done everything that my doctor had suggested to me by trying self meditation, 12 Step meetings, counseling & even an optional group therapy to see if any of it would help me to begin to feel better again. Personally, I got the very most out of counseling & self meditation. Though, there were a few AA Meetings that I attended that I really also felt like I got something good out of by being there. I completely DISLIKED any of the NA meetings that I tried out a few times. It was much different than what I had gone through with my own personal addiction & I had a very difficult time trying to relate to what they were discussing. Plus, I do know that there ARE good NA meetings out there, but in the four or five different ones that I tried out, it was much more like a gossip session & a way to "hook up" either sexually or by obtaining more drugs- that is why they were all passing out their phone numbers. Not for the same reason as in AA, where you casn swap numbers to be able to call upon that person if you are considering drinking or drugging again. Yet, I then had some issues with AA as well BC they do not really want you there if you are not suffering from an alcohol addiction. As I mentioned, my counseling (which I highly recommend) & this forum are what has gotten me to the point that I am at today & today is a whole heck of a lot better than where I was a couple of years back. Which is bringing me to my main point of how that horoscope hit home for me today, as I used to want to just keep it all in as I was embarrassed to tell anyone other than my counselor what my "double life" really consisted of being. I just didn't talk about it & felt all of those guilty horrific feelings of shame & especially guilt. I just closed myself off from the world & all of those people that I "just knew could never understand what I had done & gone through throughout my years of using. It was much easier to push people away than to "man up!" (woman!) & just actually speak the truth. Even now when I have a problem, I remind myself that talking about it & getting it off of my shoulders alone helps me so much more than just stuffing it & pushing away my friends who want to help me through it. I guess that I am not as "terminally unique" or alone as I thought that I was for all of those years! So even if you are not a Scorpio, I found there to be some very wise words within my horoscope today that we can all take & utlize within our own journies of recevery!

Good luck to you all & remember that saying that "a problem talked about is a problem half solved!"

Yours throughout this journey,
Beth I love you